Grooming process and "pink" flags

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that you are getting all this cr--ap put on you from these 2 men. The cr--ap that they're trying to load onto you, is really their own cr--ap, which they are unable to handle. I would be very tempted to ditch the therapist at this point, as I can't see what benefit it would be to you, to see him again. He doesn't sound as though he's interested in what is best for you. Did you manage to find another one?

It takes 2 people to make a relationship work. While it might be convenient for your husband to blame you for your relationship problems, he really needs to look at his own short comings... The way in which he expresses his anger being one of them. It's never one person. xx

Hi,

thank You so much for Your response. I spoke with him today on a phone, and he said that of corse he will wait for me to feel better. I really don't get it, once he is pushing me and getting angry, another day he is all open and available to understand me. When he was greeting me un the end I felt again like his voice has become seductive, but maybe I am already having some paranoia. I feel like he doesn't know what does he want either. Right now I should be going to meet him and I automatically took the way for his studio. I sropped and now I feel like frozen, knowing that I can't go to him as always, and that I can't speak with anyone, and that no one is waiting for me, too at home with love anc compassion. Why am I even living anymore. I am crying in front of all these people in the commercial center. And no one is understanding my suffer, every one says I should already stop feeling so bad. I Just cannot decide not to meet him anymore. Why did I have to meet him at all.

Ok, just wanted to add, that the time passed and I can't stop seeing him... I've got a feeling he is also suffering from loosing our relationship as he said it is very difficult for him to finish it either... There are other details and words that we said in these month also, but I don't want to get in too many details, as I did before... We planned on 4 meeting to end, but yesterday he said we could do more... I don't know if his wife suddenly isn't jealous anymore, or what... I just wanted to say I like him a lot and I would never report him anywhere, even if something happened between us... I don't want his family to suffer neither. It's all to crazy, his behavior is so unclear and I am too confused now to know what is right and what is wrong.

Have you considered the possibility that him ending your therapy has nothing to do with his wife or her jealousy and that he might be using it as a cover? It's a very odd thing for a therapist to say or use as an excuse for ending therapy. Sounds like it's more about him and his conflicted feelings.

I'm not surprised you're confused, he keeps changing his mind and is keeping you hanging, hopeful for a relationship with him. Do you really want a relationship with this guy? Do you think it would be good for you? I wish you luck and strength with this.

I don't think I would like to be in a long-lasting relationship with him, it's more a desire he created in me that I can not forget, especially because i feel so empty and lonely in my private life.

I thought about what You said it could be a lie about his wife, in faxt I told him when we met in December, that I find it strange since I believe he is a man that decide about himself so I can't believe his wife did ask him to finish, and he didn't respond but I saw him shocked, so I think I was right... He became very nice to me and excusing and flirtatious again, but in less obvious way. But there are still sparkles between us, even more then before I would say...

So, he keeps playing his games, like for example I posted on social media on Christmas seaside where I spent the whole day alone and wrote "I love the presence of the Sea. Sea is non judging you, not asking questions, one can tell it everything... The beautiful day with the seaside." and my selfie with me looking at the sea. The next day... I saw he changed his profile foto (that was being the same from at least two years!) and he puted himself... sittng on the seaside and watching sea, like I did on mine. And in background foto he puted... also the sea. Of course, if I ask him he would tell it is a coincidence, but really knowing him I know I am not paranoic...

Or am I? Why doing such a thing if he was to stay clear? It's really confusing because I see him struggling also... I Just would like him to decide what does he wants and proceed with it... I think I will be my last post, at least if nothing changes, so I just would like to thank You all and excuse me, because I cannot enter in the victim role... I think we were both humans and wharever happens, I won't forget him. It's never black and white...

From what you say, it sounds like this man is manipulating and deceiving you. It is not wrong for you to have the desires that you do, and none of this is your fault.

However, it seems to me very clear that this relationship is causing you a lot of pain and confusion. That is not therapy. If you want to see this man, that's your choice, but if you want therapy you should consider getting it from someone else.

We've already decided we have to finish, as You see from my previous posts.

I understand the emptiness and loneliness, I think it's much harder to detach when you don't have a solid, supportive relationship at home with your partner. It's good that you are aware of your therapist's inconsistencies and weaknesses. You are a strong person and you will get through this. You are your best ally right now. Please do post updates, if you want to.