[Wounded Souldier]

Is there a sub-forum for people who have actually entered a romantic relationship with their psychotherapists?

[atisketatasket]

This subforum is used for such discussions as well.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Wounded Souldier

Is there a sub-forum for people who have actually entered a romantic relationship with their psychotherapists?

It’s here. And you are not alone...not by a long shot.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by Wounded Souldier

Is there a sub-forum for people who have actually entered a romantic relationship with their psychotherapists?

Yes there are some of us here in this sub forum that have experienced this

They are not romantic relationships, they are abusive and exploitative interactions.

[Wounded Souldier]

Originally Posted by precaryous

It’s here. And you are not alone...not by a long shot.

thank you.

i do feel very alone.

[Wounded Souldier]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Yes there are some of us here in this sub forum that have experienced this

thank you.

[Wounded Souldier]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

They are not romantic relationships, they are abusive and exploitative interactions.

it is very difficult for me to see anything in black and white.

maybe i should be in the romantic relationship forum and not here. all the hiding and secrets were so uncharacteristic of any regular romantic relationship though and have caused me so much pain.

in my situation nothing whatsoever was romantic (not even in my thoughts) until a chance meeting a year after the end of the professional relationship. i found out he and his spouse were separated. everything changed for me in my perception of him. i started to talk to him like he was just a regular person. he still wanted to act like my therapist but i kept reminding him he was no longer in that role. i told him he was fired as my therapist. we became friends. on my initiative it became romantic. he was scared though about getting in trouble. we had to create a distance. that was a couple of years ago.

Originally Posted by Wounded Souldier

it is very difficult for me to see anything in black and white.

maybe i should be in the romantic relationship forum and not here. all the hiding and secrets were so uncharacteristic of any regular romantic relationship though and have caused me so much pain.

in my situation nothing whatsoever was romantic (not even in my thoughts) until a chance meeting a year after the end of the professional relationship. i found out he and his spouse were separated. everything changed for me in my perception of him. i started to talk to him like he was just a regular person. he still wanted to act like my therapist but i kept reminding him he was no longer in that role. i told him he was fired as my therapist. we became friends. on my initiative it became romantic. he was scared though about getting in trouble. we had to create a distance. that was a couple of years ago.

I struggle occasionally with classifying my previous experience with a medical professional as abusive. However, sometimes things are black and white and abuse abuse, no matter how many caveats and exceptions you can describe. From reading your brief account, he knew he was behaving in an exploitative way. It was his responsibility to protect the boundaries of your relationship as well as to respect your wellbeing (even a year down the line after therapy has finished).

It's painful and confusing, keep posting here. People can help.

[Dyromii]

I have to agree with 'comrade'here. Very rarely in life is there not a variety of shades of grey. This, however, is one of those rare black and white moments.
There was a correct thing for him to do. And an erroneous thing to do. He chose the latter.

I am very sorry you have had this experience, and feel you are most likely in the right place.
Be kind to yourself and someone will be listening if you feel the need to off load.

Take care.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Wounded Souldier

it is very difficult for me to see anything in black and white.

maybe i should be in the romantic relationship forum and not here. all the hiding and secrets were so uncharacteristic of any regular romantic relationship though and have caused me so much pain.

in my situation nothing whatsoever was romantic (not even in my thoughts) until a chance meeting a year after the end of the professional relationship. i found out he and his spouse were separated. everything changed for me in my perception of him. i started to talk to him like he was just a regular person. he still wanted to act like my therapist but i kept reminding him he was no longer in that role. i told him he was fired as my therapist. we became friends. on my initiative it became romantic. he was scared though about getting in trouble. we had to create a distance. that was a couple of years ago.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Know that it’s common to have conflicting feelings about this type of relationship. But it was never your fault.

It doesn’t matter who initiated romantic interests. It *is his* responsibility to hold that boundary. He knows this kind of relationship is unethical and is very likely to hurt you. He is supposed to keep your best interests at heart. If he really cared about you, he would have.

Keep writing here. Many of us have gone through such a relationship and we are here to help. If you search back you’ll find many of us have written about our stories here, too.