[DancingAlone]

i had an awful experience concerning a lot of Christian's views towards the mentally ill. i am a home health aide and had a particular client for over two years. i found out early on that she and her family knew that i had bipolar disorder (through an office staff member who had no right to tell them this). well, a granddaughter told me in private that her family, including my client, believes what people in the 1600s did, and people STILL DO, that mental illness is possession by Satan. i chose to ignore this, although i prayed about it a lot.

(note: that same granddaughter has bipolar disorder but she was told if she just went to church and "got saved" she would be healed. she is trying to cope unmedicated and has since dropped out of school)

one day one of my client's daughters (a preacher) came over to me and started screaming at me about going to hell, shaking her finger at me. i just sat there stunned. another time, (my car's air conditioner doesn't work) i commented to my client about dreading driving home because my car would be so hot. she was sitting at a table reading her Bible. well, she turned real fast and yelled at me "well, maybe that's God's way of showing you what it's going to be like when you BURN IN HELL!!!"

i immediately asked work for a transfer. as a side note, i went to see her last Christmas. she was dying from cancer. we held hands, then i hugged her close and prayed. she died a couple of weeks later and i prayed for God to please take care of her.

i was once asked here at PC (if you knew the context that the question was asked, you'd know how offensive the remark was) what church i attended. well, i'm scared to even try anymore. i don't like being told i'm going to hell, or i'm "possessed" because i don't have a heart condition for example, but have a mental illness.

but thank God these types of thinking are changing in the churches, but you have to find one that is open to support of MI and i don't want to add any more pain into my life by trying to find one, although i may try one a friend recommended.

i believe that faith leads to hope, which is what i need to stay alive, to try to feel good about my life, and to continue to try and heal. i rely heavily on God. i think (this is me personally) that a critical part of dealing with being MI is having faith, no matter what your belief system is.

i found this web site. it's not so much the article, but the comments that uplifted me. as i read about others struggles within the church, i am given hope that narrow minded thinking will change and i can feel accepted in the church community. i will continue to believe, and pray, and keep my sense of faith until i am welcomed into heaven.

http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/2007/06/26/serious-mental-illness-and-faith-what-to-do/

(partial quote from the above website)

Robyn Bloem
July 19, 2009 at 10:40 pm
My husband and I are Christians. He has had bipolar II since 1985. We got so tired of Christians saying that mental illness is sin, bitterness, poor coping skills, anger turned inward, blah, blah, blah, that we finally wrote a book about our experience with his mental illness. He has been a pastor, a therapist in the Community Mental Health system for over ten years and now in private practice for over six years.

We have hit the church head on and have been rebuffed by pastors who think they know—but they don’t. We have started a movement for Christians who have mental illness. If pastors can get an understanding of the mentally ill and help them in supportive ways instead of quoting a Bible verse and sending them home, we will be making progress.

maybe some pastors out there will read this and take note, and change their thinking. we are all precious children of God who deserve a place in the kingdom of heaven like anyone else. i am in no way bitter. i will always take the high road and try to teach by example and stay true to my faith, which teaches me to forgive.

i just pray that other fellow sufferers of MI will find a place to worship in the houses of their "God". if not, then, well, no one can take away our right to pray, to believe, and to have hope through faith.

God love us all. Amen.

[(JD)]

From what I have experienced I have decided it's just too tiring to try and explain to any group over and over...knowing full well they still don't understand the phenomena of mental unwellness.

For someone who knows there is a God, well, then He is God and fully understands.

I guess I could always tell someone who speaks ignorantly, "I'll pray that God will help you understand better."

So many others who I know who want to share in the local services find they just stay home, for fear of being misunderstood. I pray for strength to continue seeking.

[lynn P.]

(((DancingAlone))) - wow I'm so sorry these bad experiences happened to you. I had no idea there were so many people who had these misconceptions. Don't let the uneducated and narrow minded people tarnish your spirituality.

[SunnyD]

My daughter had the same incidents with her epilepsy.
People can be so ignorant especially when they don't know that this is a chemical imbalance of the brain. An illness. That is why it is called mental illness?
I don't disclose at church unless absolutely necessary.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, it's sad in this supposedly "enlightened" time that some churches are still under that belief. I do know of churches that are understanding toward mental illness. My denomination is. I don't go around blabbing to all the members about being bipolar, though. I even know some pastors with that diagnosis. My husband has been asked to give a presentation to a church group about mental illness and how churches can help. If you'd like to know more about the work he does, etc., then feel free to send me a PM.

[kathleen slattery]

Gosh dancing, that is a HORRIBLE experience. I am so sorry about that. As a bipolar sufferer also, I had the opposite experience. When I was severely ill with a psychosis eight years ago, the only people who came to the psych ward to visit me were three priests over the interval from my church. Pretty much all my friends turned around and ran; but not those men. Also without asking, I was annointed by the hospital chaplain for the Sacrament of the Sick.

When I came out of the hospital, I was approached by the Pastor, and was told that anything that they could do to help, my Parish was there for me. So again, I am terribly sorry that you were made to suffer at the hands of so-called Christian people, but you know yourself that this is not representative of the Christian message. It might be hard to do, but forgive them if you could, and bear in mind that you suffered enough with your illness, without unkind fanatics adding to your burden.

[DancingAlone]

thank you kathleen,
yes, i forgave them of course. i just finally had to choose not to be around that type of thinking. i felt so sorry for several of the younger girls in that family that were left to fend with the ravages of MI on their own because no one would allow them to get any professional help. one was even subjected to an exorcism. but even so, i still wish them all well.

my sister (in another state) belongs to a church that actually has support groups for people with bipolar disorder and depression. i think it's called Hope Church. she mentioned that they are online too but i don't want to "just" attend an online church. for now, i listen to gospel music on youtube, and read my Bible, and read devotionals online.

i'm so glad to hear you had a positive experience with your church when you were in the hospital. and the hospital chaplain! as i mentioned, to me personally, faith goes a very long way in helping to cope through the rough days and i would really like to have the support of a church as well as here of course, and my pdoc and IRL support group. it's just different because it's about being close to our Father. that must've been a comfort to you that they cared so much.

i'd like to thank everybody for their responses and support. that means a whole lot to me. i'm really not criticizing the clergy, or church members who think in such awful terms towards MI, i'm just saddened. our souls need the same nurturing as someone with a physical ailment.

[eskielover]

It is so sad that some Christians don't understand MI.....but then there are many who aren't Christian who don't understand & aren't tolerant either....they just show the lack of understanding in other ways.

I remember in 1994, I was in a very deep depression after loosing my career (before the economy fell apart) & attempted SU more times than I can remember now along with trying to deal with anorexia at the time. The pastors at that church had no idea how to communicate with me about what was going on with me....but then, the psychologists didn't know how to help either & were of no better help then the pastors. There was one pastor from a previous church I went to that also served as the chaplain in the hospital I was in & he was much better with talking with me than the others.

Interesting as I moved from California to Kentucky, a move I would have thought from progressive to a bit backward, but I was amazingly surprised in that the churches understanding of MI & even the professional treatment of mental illness is so much more advanced in KY than anything I ever experienced in Calif.

I am so sorry that you ran into those people who had such a lack of understanding & treated you in such a horrible way under the belief that they were Christian. Sadly, all you can do for people like that is to do what you did which was to forgive them for their lack of knowledge & pray that God will open their minds to the truth. I am so glad that you didn't allow this experience to destroy your faith & held strong to your relationship with God

[DancingAlone]

thank you eskielover,
i'm sorry you had a sad experience too. i would say to those pastors who don't understand about MI, all we need to hear is a simple prayer, or a hand to hold, some kind words of support, or just simply being told that God loves us.

and no, my faith won't ever be compromised by people like my late client. actually it helped me to grow. i was never angry with any of them. they were the ones that had to live with that kind of hate and prejudice in their hearts, and so it was easy to pray for them because they needed the prayers more than me. that type of "brokenness" of spirit needs to be prayed for so they can somehow know God's will for them to learn compassion for others. and i'm learning too and have a very long way to go.

anyway, bless you. please stay well.

[kykid]

I am also sorry that you had the experience you had DancingAlone.

I have problems communicating about my illness with others, whether in church or not. In my Church, I have had to explain things about my illness to my Priest. He has read articles that I have brought him in hopes of broadening his experience with mental illness in general, and bipolar in particular. In Confession, he has also suggested that some problems that I have might be related to the bipolar disorder, which is very comforting to me. The Sacraments of my Church provide me with endless blessings that enable me to effectively battle my illness.

My advice to you is to continue looking for a church home where you will be accepted for who you are because they do exist. When you find this home, you will be blessed beyond measure. I know because I have.

Originally Posted by DancingAlone

thank you kathleen,
yes, i forgave them of course. i just finally had to choose not to be around that type of thinking. i felt so sorry for several of the younger girls in that family that were left to fend with the ravages of MI on their own because no one would allow them to get any professional help. one was even subjected to an exorcism. but even so, i still wish them all well.

my sister (in another state) belongs to a church that actually has support groups for people with bipolar disorder and depression. i think it's called Hope Church. she mentioned that they are online too but i don't want to "just" attend an online church. for now, i listen to gospel music on youtube, and read my Bible, and read devotionals online.

i'm so glad to hear you had a positive experience with your church when you were in the hospital. and the hospital chaplain! as i mentioned, to me personally, faith goes a very long way in helping to cope through the rough days and i would really like to have the support of a church as well as here of course, and my pdoc and IRL support group. it's just different because it's about being close to our Father. that must've been a comfort to you that they cared so much.

i'd like to thank everybody for their responses and support. that means a whole lot to me. i'm really not criticizing the clergy, or church members who think in such awful terms towards MI, i'm just saddened. our souls need the same nurturing as someone with a physical ailment.