Please help me.

I'm really broken up. I missed a pretty important gathering of my coven for the solstice because I was so messed up. I couldn't do any rituals myself that night because I was having such a bad day. I'm not okay with missing such a significant holiday and doing nothing so I wanted to make it up by doing other rituals and being extra devotional for a while. Anyways, if anyone can, it would mean a lot to me if you sent positive energy my way. I guess I need all the help and support possible. I'm really stressed out with my exams for the end of my summer classes and not to mention my depression. I know adding on an extra dose of spirituality shouldn't be a burden but it feels like it. Any and all positive energy is much appreciated!

(I'm really bad a navigating this site. It may have to to with the fact I only get on here with my iPhone because I share a computer (I don't want my family to know I'm on here...) or maybe it's because I suck in general when it comes to forums. Anyways, I'm looking for any other Wiccans on PC. I just saw a bunch of Christianity social groups and threads but never anything about New Age philosophies or Wicca. If there are any other Wiccans, it would be super cool if you could message me with a group if there is one. If not, thanks anyways!)

Sending you prayers.

cmlwtcos,
I don't think that one necessarilly has to be a wicken to understand. From what I do understand it that these witches are not evil they are of mother nature and they worship being a part of nature.

So in that understanding I would say that for you missing that holiday, did you miss it? Do you need to celebrate it with others to celebrate it? A tree may stand with others but it reaches for the sun on it's own. It can stand in the rain with winds that shed some leaves but it manages to be patient and uses that rain as a restful moment and soaks up the water for nourishment for when there is too much sun and it is dry. All of nature does this, and being one of nature you must do the same.

You can acknowage that you miss your fellow worshipers but that doesn't change what you can do on your own. Be that tree and rejoice inspite of the clouds and rain. Sometimes these moments are a test, you can still celebrate and be within youself and be just as effective at celebration.

Open Eyes

Dear cmlwtcos, I do so agree with what Open Eyes said. It was my first and second thoughts as reading your words. And, I think its difficult to be in a place of depression while also feeling a lot of light. Perhaps I think of depression as a sort of closing off from the light, in a way. Its still there, and you are still light. But the connection might be more difficult to recieve. And yes, it can feel like a burdon. But then there are the times of openess to that which is of light and love. And those times feel so much easier. Either way, weather you are feeling depressed or not, you are light.

Most importantly, do you think that perhaps you on a soul level were at the wonderful solstice celebration? I do think this is possible. If so, then perhaps you did not miss it at all. Perhaps you were right there.

Nature, earth, surely loves you. And will always love you. Earth and nature have the wisdom to know that you do what you can, in the moment. Even when you cannot do the rituals. Perhaps its the heart's intention that speaks volumes more than even rituals of light and love. It sounds to me like your heart's intentions are love. I am certain that nature knows this full well. Btw, I am not wicken. But I do honor the beliefs. Blessings to you.

I always worry about posting here at pc. I hope that what I have said is okay.

Be well, cmlwtcos.