A test of faith

I am not a Buddhist, however, I ascribe to many of the same beliefs, and now my belief that all things can be appreciated, no matter whether they are positive or negative, is being put to the test.
Recently, I had a severe reaction to post-op meds, which has relapsed, and I might be left with a chronic, physical condition. When I first recovered, I was overjoyed just to be alive and out of pain, and I thought how important it was to appreciate all aspects of my life, but with this present downturn, I am becoming depressed, and feeling victimized, which is not healthy for my well-being. Even though I know that it does no good whatsoever to feel this way, I am overwhelming myself with negativity, and I'm having a difficult time banishing such thoughts and emotions.

Isn't it easy to dispense all the wise advice of the sages, but when crisis strikes home, it becomes a real challenge to those beliefs?

At this moment, I keep telling myself that if I can find solace in one of the darkest times in my recent life, I can find it anywhere, and that thought alone is helping me to accept this crisis.

I would welcome any advice or personal experiences that you would share

i'm glad you could post about this, edward... i believe many people find it very difficult to handle major set-backs. i am following two of the major precepts: roll all blame into one; and: see all things as beneficial to spiritual growth.

i tell myself, when hardship comes, that i am paying off a debt incurred with out remembrance, that all the suffering is really profiting my spiritual growth, if only i can use it to practice refraining from negativity, or false positivity... essentially this means acceptance. acceptance of the nature of things happening, that i like and that i don't like, having no bearing on my personal spiritual journey.

i don't know that i have been at all clear, or helpful, but i wish you well in your quest for attainment.

Edward. I have no advice for you. But I do commend you for the way you are trying to approach this challenging time. Do you think that this challenging time is upon you for a purpose? And to allow it would be alright?

I wanted to go through this amazing time in December with joy and light and positivity. But, well, life had other plans. So I am trying to not judge it. That isnt easy when people around me are talking about glowing and shining etc. It doesnt make me any less light. But it is a challenge for me to allow the pain with faith and grace.

I've never understood when people of any belief, religion, etc. have a crisis, are faced with a severe illness, or even the death of a loved one, they all of a sudden blame their Higher Power, whoever that may be.

My Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, is a loving, caring, non-judgmental God who watches over me, who carries me when I fall, who helps me when I fail, sits with me when I'm ill, and prays with me when I'm grieving. He doesn't cause the terrible things that befall me.

Maybe I'm naive in thinking the way I do. But why does everyone blame their Higher Power?

Leed I am not sure the op is blaming a higher power or believes in a higher power, as Edward did't mention a higher power at all. Just that sometimes it is very hard to accept the bad with the same grace we can accept the good.

I am struggeling with this myself a bit at the moment. But remimding myself to look for a way to appreciate that the challenge of my physical pain will allow me to grow in a new way that will make me more balanced in being does seem to work.

You are alive! Medications, Pian, and the Trama will cause depression. See and do chearful things while recovering. Avoid the news and other culturaly imprinted negitivity.

Hmm I understand. I have a chronic illness although my worst challenge isn't that, it's dealing with my learning disabled child while ill myself. He isn't with me all week now but when I do have him and he's playing up, the difficulties this presents me with are impossible for me to wrap my normally willing head around.

I'm a very spiritual person but there are some challenges that are too difficult for me to face. My feelings towards my child (who has no empathy) at certain times is one of them. I like to think there's a lesson in all of them even if it's a matter of realising what my limits are and making other choices if necessary. Obviously in the case of chronic health problems there's little choice but to try and change your perception. Easier said than done.

Maybe the lack of solace is another point of acceptance. If I can't accept something I try to add another layer by accepting my non acceptance. It sounds weird but can help. It's okay to struggle with this. It's horrible but there's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. Life's challenges are hard and probably supposed to be so that we learn and grow.

But why some have to be so terrible...I just don't know What I try to do is accept wherever I am and how I feel. I also remember that situations pass. Even chronic health issues usually change over time (sometimes for the better, sometimes not) but living for the day, appreciating what you do have, can help. I have learned to cherish a lot of stuff in my life by being so unwell.

Best wishes to you.