I was feeling pretty bad the other night and very off-balance. Thank you for helping me to remember my faith. I haven't slept much since the sleep lab - can't. My bulemia has also returned with a vengance.
Please forgive me if this over steps the bounds of the board but I just need to say this.

Sometimes I fall prey to bitterness.
Simply put, I believe that we do agree to our life as it exists on Earth with God prior to being born - though our life will be tempered by our own free agency or will to chose.
I believe that my own life has been touched by so much abuse and such... so that I have the "tools" to help other people. And that is why I agreed to it with God.

I also have forgiven the people that abused me, not for just the childhood abuse but for what is even the tougher part - the impact that they(the abusers) had on my future life.

I looked into my heart and asked myself, if I really wanted to be the judge of another human being and the answer was "no". God is the judge.

For a very long time, it bothered me a great deal when I would ask a minister or bishop, can a peodfile that has destroyed so many lives get into heaven if they have asked for forgiveness. The answer was always "yes".

I've gotten to the point that I want that person to have that opportunity if they are truly contrite and ask for forgiveness.

Please pray for me that the bulemia will be less, that I can sleep and that they can get my asthma and sleep apena under control.

Next month when I have the lung biopsy - please pray for God's will to be done.

Thank you

[AlteredState01]

I am touched by your words and understand your current state of being. Please know (and I know you know), it will pass - never feels like it will, but it will pass - even if for a short time only.

It is so difficult to maintain that place where we moved forward to, at times, especially when that step was one that came with an unbearable weight (your abuse) with it. That weight is still upon you, not as heavy though, as you have left some of it behind by your willingness to forgive (an incredible fete and a huge leap forward), but it has also shifted (your perception). This, however, can leave one feeling "unbalanced" (the doubts; the pain; the lingering weight), as you so beautifully put it, once landed. I believe anger is only (one of many) an expression of that unbalance.

Your honesty is touching and you are, indeed, helping me! It makes me want to be a better person, too (this coming at a time when I was feeling angry at the world and wanting to give up again).

My heart and my prayers go out to you. And thank you for this post.

Altered State

[FaithisAlive]

I pray that you will be healed of the emotional pain and the physical illness that you are experiencing.... that God will deliver you of both and that you will be given the strength and courage to do Gods work, using your pain to help others.

Have faith in Him and Walk in His ways....He loves you and He wants you to be healthy and to enjoy your life. He will lift you up when you are too weak to take another step... lean on Him.... and know that you are never alone!

Peace, Faith

[JustAPixie]