Do you believe that God makes some people unloveable by purpose - loved by Him but unloveable by people? That somehow this serves a purpose for Him. I believe I am one such person.

The other night I went too far with pills and ended up with the police and the ambulance.

I had reached an ending point in my life and I was angry that it was not my decision to make regarding my life - I personally didn't call for the police and ambulance.

Many events brought this incident on - tests, procedures during the last 3 months to determine what is wrong with me. Invasive tests.. that for the most part I have done by myself.

My son and I had a long chat, he moved in with his girlfriend in Jan. She feels and now he feels that I shouldn't be a part of their future faimly life. My ED makes their life disruptive. It is difficult to do things with me around the holidays. Though I have successfully raised my son with a good life - that he would even tell you was good. My ED makes me it so they would not want me to be a grandmother. My son's girlfriend did suggest that I pay for an expensive vacation. I guess I'm OK for that.

Early in the day, my dog 12-13 years old had a seisure, I have been trying to decide when I need to do something - but as most of you know that is a very hard decision. I am also very allergic to him - making my bronchial asthma much worse. I have been trying to deal with it by giving him weekly baths.

Also that day, I didn't have any food in the house. I have milk, coffee and fish in the house now.

I am in a great deal of physical pain, and the lack of oxygen from the sleep apena is turning my toes a deep purple color. I am finding it difficult to eat anything except coffee.

I put a post in General - and I wanted to explain some of what went behind it.

I just wanted eveyone who saw the other post to understand that I do love my dog and have been treating him thru the vet for over a year - but I have to make some kind of decsion at some point.

[mlyn]

NO you are not unloveable!!!!!!! Top of his commandments is to love how could you be less than that? If your dog needs to be put out of pain than please do so. Our selfishness is what can keep them in pain.
Just my opinion for what ever it is worth.

[Rapunzel]

Freewill, how would you being unlovable serve God's purposes? You must have faced a lot of adversity in your life, and I am sorry for that. It must really hurt to be excluded from your son's and your future grandchildren's lives. I am sorry that your dog is having health problems too. That concerns me, as it could be enough to push someone over the edge. May God be with you and carry you through this section of your life.

Eating disorders are hard to recover from, and they do take their toll on those who love you too. It can take powerful incentive to do the work that you have to do to get well. My wish for you is that you will recover and that you will have the opportunity to be a grandmother, and to be a positive influence in your grandchildren's lives. Kids really need grandparents. Look forward to that.

Rap

[Rene]

Freewill, I am new here - just registered yesterday - but I am in tears reading your post. I know that I don't know you or anything about your situation other than what you posted on this thread, but I do NOT believe that God would create someone to be unloveable for any reason! I am so sorry for your pain with your ED, your relationship with your son, and the issues with your dog. I wish there was a way I could help.

I have a friend who, while your situations are not the same, would identify with your post title. I know there are times when she feels unloveable because her many issues and diagnoses can be challenging for others to deal with, but she IS loved, and I am sure you are, too.

Hugs to you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

[FaithisAlive]

Romans 5:8 says"But God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

In John 15:9, Jesus says,"As the Father loved Me, I also have loved You..."and in verse 18 he says" If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated You."

I believe that satan uses those we love most to try and seperate us from God...it doesn't mean you are unlovable, it means satan knows you belong to God and he wants nothing more than to steal God's children from Him if He can....

I'm sorry you have been hurt so deeply by your son... i sure hope you let him and his girlfriend finance their own vacation....maybe you should call them from the balcony of a nice beach front condo....

From what I see here.. you are very lovable.... FaithisAlive

[moodyblu]

I would say...most emphatically...no.
I can use a very well known verse in the bible for comfort...and fact..: John 3-16 "For God so loved the WORLD....You are no different in God's eyes than anyone else and no less loved.
Like a bat...negative flight in negative light..if you'll excuse the analogy...one views things from a different perspective because of a depressed state. Tricky mind stuff.
It sometimes helps to be more conscious of what you are thinking and attempt to adjust.
I was just put on a breathing device for sleep apnea and I have to say it is working marvelously. My thoughts are much clearer, the depression has diminished to a "quiet wimper" and I am dreaming again!
If you are suffering from apnea...you really have to get that under control. It will really help you.
Pray hard and often. The Lord hears you and will answer...most often lovingly!