Finding meaning

Hey everybody,

I don't know if I'm writing in the right forum,and maybe my topic will be moved, so please bare with me.

I'm having trouble figuring out where my life is headed. I'm 37 and feel lack a sense of meaning. Religion used to fill that void, but it's lately only caused alot more harm than good. I've been sober in AA, which is a spiritual program and not a religious program, for going on 9 years. I obviously have alot of mental health issues, but i don't think those are causing my existential problems.

I've been helping out others with sobriety for the past 6 weeks, and I know helping others is a big part of finding meaning. But I still feel a big sense of emptiness. Let me know what you think.

You have a sense that there is a purpose for all of this.
You wonder why you are here.

You suspect things may happen for a reason and perhaps there is a method in this seemingly chaotic madness.

The truth is that everything you have ever been aware of is but a clue to gather so you may solve this mystery.

Richeye, I believe that the meaning in life is different for each of us. Maybe you could start by looking at what is important to you in life? That might help you find your meaning.

As you heal, as your Doctors about reducing those medications. They can cause you to feel that way. Religion is about social order and control. You moved beyound that. You can be spiritual with having to be part of a religion.

Also the kind of healing you done can cause you to feel empty. Because so much of your indentity was tied to your mental heath issues. Time to rediscover yourself.

Thanks for the replies. It's like i'm not interested in anything. I'm not into watching football this season, religion, reading books, etc.. Maybe I'm on too much medication. I've tried going back to work, even part-time, and taking classes over the 10 years that i've been on disability, but it has all fallen through.

I don't think it's depression that i'm going through. I don't feel sad, or lethargic, etc.. I just feel empty.

I do find meaning in going to AA meetings. But that can only do so much. I help out by giving help to people new in the program, but i don't think i can sponsor.

Thanks for the replies. And i think i'm in the right forum. Take care.

Part of the process of finding meaning in life is emptying out the bags of misinformation about who we are. AA and other programs can turn us around in this way.
When we get through much of that false sense of who we are, we can get that sense of emptiness. It may be a time to begin the process of building a stronger, healthier sense of self. How? that can vary with each individual. Some people practice yoga (youtube had many but Adrienne is a favorite) others begin service to others. Some people find creative expression. Others find a joy in work either volunteer or paid. It is really what is in each person's heart. If we find a way to express what is in the heart, then even the emptiness when it leaks in has a subtleness that can be better than before.

Thanks Candc,

I will be honest and as candid as i can be. I'll share what I'm about to say to my sponsor, so here it goes.

I'm not interested in going to Church or reading religious documents. I'm not interested in football this season. I'm not interested in establishing an intimate relationship with a woman. I'm not interested in sex, and i'm not even gay or bisexual! I am not interested in work, neither can i handle the stress. I am interested in maintaining my mental health and sobriety and spirituality, but that's about it. Nothing really interests me, yet i've been asking myself about my 'passion' for years.

I have done yoga in the past and will do it right now; thanks.

I think we all sort of feel this, but we all think we are the only ones. Michael Harding has written a book about the emptiness we all feel in our lives, it's an autobiographic book titled "Staring at lakes". He also writes something in there about how to deal with it, or come to terms with it. Maybe reading that book is a start.

Someone also posted a sad, but wonderful poem about it, can't remember which user! But here it is.

"no help for that"

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

a space

and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times

we will know it

we will know it
more than
ever

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled
and

we will wait
and
wait

in that space.”
— Charles Bukowski

You're not alone!

EDIT: Found it. The user was Velouria, and the thread was here. Seems to be about the same as you are dealing with.

" I am interested in maintaining my mental health and sobriety and spirituality, but that's about it."

That is enough for you to do. Good work. I also not interested in football (it is boring, violent, and over hyped). I not interested in Religion for the reasons I gave. I also not interested in work, for I want to remain "Retired". I am selective about women too.

No need to feel empty. You are doing well.

what is wrong with feeling "empty" ? it is perhaps our true nature: when we are not grasping for what we Want, avoiding what we Hate, or ignoring everything else.

i equate emptiness with freedom.

There is a difference between the emptiness we feel in meditation and the emptiness we feel in depression. The difference is in how we perceive the emptiness.
Meditation also leads to compassion. Compassion is the counterweight to emptiness. That is a way for the emptiness to grow wings.

yes, it is good to include oneself in Compassion.... let it be OK~

Some good thoughts here. You defined that you like to do and what you don't. You have also defined what you can do and what you can't. Could it be that you are placing society's expectations on your own life?