heart broken

I am heart broken...a desperate mom in need of peace and assurance over my 15 yr old, who is facing time. She has already been through so much, losing her father a little over a year ago, and she is so rebellious and angry towards life...and I am her punching bag....so to speak....I am all she has left in the world, besides her friends which are into gangs and drugs etc...and I try to tell her being so cool to fit in isn't what true friendship is about...I tell her a friend listens to what you say, and a best friend listens to what you don't say...I have tried to be her best friend, and the mom left out the rules...to keep her happy and accepted...and now she can be taken from me....and I am devastated...because of the anger and abandonment of her father...I loved her and think I did the best I could, considering I never knew what a mom should be like....I am so hurt and feel soi guilty...that I don't know how to fix her pain...so i eternalize it...and keep it all to myself...like I always have....please pray that the court thing goes well and counseling can be an option for us both...I have never been to counseling but willing to do whatever it takes to help her....

((((hugs)))) I am so sorry you are going thru this with your daughter. I do believe she should get some counseling really soon. I would get her in before court. that way you have that you can tell the judge

I agree that's rough, and it must be heart-breaking. Will your daughter go to counseling? Even if she won't, it would probably help both of you if you go to counseling. You can include her as much as you are able to. I hope that things improve in her life. There is still time, so keep on hoping the best. Never give up.

Rap

Little Hands,

Don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you have done everything you can. Single parenting is the pits.

The court system often has more resources to offer troubled teenagers than does the mental health side of things.

One of my students this semester shared with me that she was very angry with her father when she was a teenager. He wound up dying, and it resulted in her being angry so several years, and then things turned around for her.

So there is hope.

I will be praying for you.

Please feel free to PM me.

EJ

thanks for all the kind words...I not only have to put my pain aside, and focus on hers, and all the triggers that comes with it, all my life I gave what I couldn't have, cause I know what being alone means...So I refuse to stop fighting for my kids..like my parents did me. I will NOT be like my parents...hurt their own.

You sound like a great mom...we cant control everything, especially as they get older. My daughter lost her father a little over a year ago and I can see the difference in her. It is so difficult being a single parent. Eventhough I do the best I can, I cant do everything. I want to but its impossible.

I think the counselor would look good for court...a letter from a counselor could be very helpful and if you explain her story a bit about her father and that she's going through a rough patch rather than a lifelong pattern. AS a former "JD" I can say the scared and innocent look has a very strong effect on judges.. I would just stand there and look very scared and act very sorry and I would always get off, lol.
If they think you look or act "hard" they are tougher on you. Of course you have to come across as sincere. If she can sincerely cry that would be great.And the clothes, very important. Nerdish clothes..Nothng low cut, nothing street,

Also, if you have other family memebers to come just to sit there in the courtroom, they like that too. If she could come up with some heartfelt ******** about changing her life..but dont get caugfht faking.

I too didnt have any clue about how to be a parent...No one ever toook care of me. No one ever cooked for me or anything and by the time I was 13 I was on the street mostly..I read books about what normal people do and it helped.

Someone had to tell me youre supposed to hang up their school papers and artwork on the refrigerator. It was all foreign to me. And she was seven and she was hungry and I was like well go eat, lol...I knew how to do everything myself very young becasue I had no choice and i forget thats not her world..

Anyway, I didnt mean to try to highjack your thread...I just want to wish you and your child the best and tell you you sound like a good mom and that your doing the best you can andthats allwe can do...Youre better than your parents, and you care. Iknow its difficult but despite your sadness and disappointment now you seem very strong. I wish you continued strength and hope it all works out well..

That is a very tough thing to go through. I'm sorry you two are dealing with this. I really will pray for your family and that you guys get some help very soon. (((((((littlehands)))))))))

(((littlehands)))) Please keep PC updated. When is the court thing? Stay true to yourself and your beliefs. Teenagers rebel against your foundation, but they want that, they need that, they need to see it and know they can count on you (whatever you are.)

Any news, littlehands????

after all the time of helping my daughter, she is now 14 weeks pregnant and only 14 yrs of age....now I must raise a another child...and the sad thing is I am not well, mentally my abuse as a child is surfacing, through many triggers, of her being pregnant....please pray for us....I don't know what I should do about her...

it's tough having the world on your shoulder's is'nt it? especially when you start to feel yourself crumble under the strain...of all the things I could say to you at a time like this,the most important thing is that God loves you/your daughter and he wants to help so talk to him,he listens,he knows,and he can work all of this out. faith is the ability to find peace in the hands that have held you all along.