[skitsnigel]

I will not get into the details, as this is a non-religion forum. However the social groups felt austrasising on this matter and I felt I wouldn't get the response I'm looking for from them.

So, I have gotten burnt out by several communities and their practices. I have been raised with this spirituality and it is a big part of my personality.
Being quite open to spirituality it took time until I started to see certain practises harmful to those who were not indoctrinated. It was more of a drug to those who chose to take part than anything. I became sceptical towards the good of the community, started finding more and more flaws in the brainwashing indoctrination.

Now I'm in a position where prayer, worship, and spiritual discussion causes me great anxiety and irritability. I don't find the solace and comfort I once did. The anxiety is causing me to distance myself from the community I once loved, and I feel less connected to friends and family of the same faith. I love them so, aswell as the spiritual ground I've built my personality upon.

Has anybody been in a similar position? I would really like to work through this to once more find peace. Right now my one source of peace turns me into an anxious mess.

How do I recover from this?

[Thunder Bow]

Remember, brain washing is all about control. If you feel you are being controlled to much in the community, then it is time to break free. In the end, you will feel much better.

[Skeezyks]

Hello skitsnigel: I don't know... Perhaps right now you're finding yourself running from something. Maybe the key is to find something else to run toward? I wish you well...

[Fuzzybear]

[Rohag]

Hello, Skitsnigel. You are not alone. At least a few people on PsychCentral have experiences similar to yours. Beyond PC you can find many forums of ex-members of high-control, high-demand groups. Religion is the focus of many of those groups but not all.

If you search for "ex-" + "(group name)" or "questioning" + "(group name)" you may find help specific to the community to which you refer.

Spiritual crises can be exceptionally upsetting and can lead a person in many different directions.

I wish you well!

[0vertheRainb0w]

Hi Skitsnigel,

My experience mostly came from growing up in a household with parents who were very irrational. The type of religious doctrine they believed in was an off-shoot of Catholicism. It took a long time after breaking free from them to establish my own spirituality and learn what I personality believe to be true.
It often takes time to establish your own individual spiritual/ religious beliefs when the beliefs of others have been imposed on you for a number of years.

Give it sometime and don't judge yourself for the reactions you have. Trust that the path you set for yourself and your journey is yours and yours alone.

I was turned off by spirituality myself when I began to see this same problem. But it also opened my eyes to what the real meaning of spirituality is and how it's different from a control mechanism. Maybe you can try doing your own inner searching in this spirituality without the guidance of others for a while? I'm not an expert, though, so please take this with a dash of salt.

[possum220]

Maybe you could have time out on your own without the hordes of people. Time to think and process things. People are people and despite the surroundings come with failings that disappoint and hurt and tarnish things.