[Naive120]

When I was 15 I started to date a guy ,D. He was going to church and asked me to go with him. So I went I feel in love with the way it made me feel and the people. It was a big part of our relationship. On my 16th birthday he raped and beat me, the next day I was baptized. I didn't tell anyone about the rape until months later, when I ended the relationship. Our youth minister said I could either talk to D about it one on one or I had to leave the church. I left. I felt hurt by this. I don't know what to believe. For years I've wondered if I made the right choice in leaving. For years I was angry that it happened and blamed God. It's been almost 7 years since the rape. I'm ready to move on and grow. But I'm not sure if I can believe in God or not. I don't know where to turn to, or what to believe.

[KathyM]

Naive

It wasn't God that harmed you, and it wasn't God that kicked you out for disobeying church rules. IMO, there is no excuse for what happened to you. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry you feel betrayed.

[recluse1]

i am so sorry that you have been thru such a terrible ordeal. IMO, i find it appauling tht you were kicked out of the church after something like this happened to you.

i pray that you would see that this was a situation where people and not God hurt and turned their backs. God loved you then and still loves you now. i hope you can find a church that you feel at home in and are able to grow closer to in your spiritual walk.

recluse1

[bebop]

first off I am very sorry this happened to you. as the others said it was not God that did this to you. if a youth minister told you to leave you should have taken it up with the pastor. no way should you have been told you should leave. please find another church and know that all of them are not like that!

[Naive120]

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bebop said:
if a youth minister told you to leave you should have taken it up with the pastor. no way should you have been told you should leave.

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The pastor was there when he told me and agreed.

[1oxbowgirl]

Don't take your anger and fustrations out on God. Instead try to understand it was not your fault what happened. Sometimes members of churches take upon themselves to do things, such as sending you away, when they really don't have the power to do so. They are the kind of people that give good Christian folks a bad name. I would say to try and find another church, or go back to that one if you want to be there and speak with the pastor. If the pastor is not supportive to your need, then that church in my opinion is not worthy of your being there. But never give up on God. Speak to Him and read your Bible, and His words will bring back your strength and courage to believe in Him. I am not saying it will be easy, but if you do these things you will be uplifted and your heart will sing again. I think you will find the words you need to hear in the Book of Psalms.

[(JD)]

I'm so sorry that you received this treatment from the church after such a violation of yourself. I am the first to admit that church workers rarely have proper training in dealing with trauma. They believe so much in forgiveness they totally miss the concept of permanent psychological damage.

With that said,let me encourage you to keep looking for a church where you will be welcomed, no matter what. Please don't give up on God. He will reckon with evil people before long, as HE knows them all too well. And that is what happened, a person you know turned evil and violated you and your trust. He may have even done it in the name of God.

Many church members, Christians, etc have traumatic experiences. The church is the only real place to receive full understanding and support for our issues, as we all have something in our past that tries to counter a happy current life.

God loves you. His heart is broken over what happened to you. You may be angry with Him, but tell Him that, and allow Him to comfort you as you strive to work through this, and heal.

[wickedwings]

naive. it was not your fault, and god knows that. it was not god who did this to you, but the people who abused the power bestowed on them.

[moodyblu]

I find something like this absolutely deplorable. It really bothers me that someone would do this under the guise of the fellowship of a church. However...it is the depravity of man that we are dealing with...and not that of God. It is so unfortunate that something so sinful and evil has happened to you ...but please do not give up on God for this...or churchs as I know no-one would clearly approve of this behavior in most any church.
Pray and ask for guidance. God will answer and comfort you...or give you a way in which to deal with this dreadful crime against you. This hits home for me personally for something similiar like this had happened to me...confusing me...harming me and giving me reluctance for organized religion till this very day. I still realize though...that it was evil that did this and that it did not come from our heavenly father...who will punish those who wrong the innocent.
Take care...I understand...I'm sorry...
d.

[Peacemaker]

Naive,

IMO, this church comitted a heinous offense against you in working in God's name. Personally, I do not feel comfortable with organized religion due to issues in my past where the church, meaning, the congregation were judgemental, hateful, and non-supportive of those in true need but were different in ways that the congregation would not accept. This led me to much soul searching because the God I knew is loving, kind, non judging, and never forsakes his children. You boyfriend, D, misused the greatest gift from God to us which is freewill. D misused his freewill against you in ways that God never intended. Unfortunately, God does not interfere with our freewill and could not prevent D from robbing you of your precious innocence. I am happy that you have found some peace so that you can move on. That, in itself, is a gift from God. Follow you heart and find a church where you are comfortable. Even interview the minister prior to going, and if you can, share your experience about the rape and beating and how the other church treated you, to gain information regarding the doctrine, teachings, and the support that the new church offers its congregation. If you are at all uncomfortable with what you learn, run like mad and find another until you find the right church for you. I never found a church for me. There isn't one that exists around where I live that teaches what I yearn to learn. So, I found a group of like minded people with whom I practice my spirituality.

For your information, it is a fact that 80% of all Fundamentalists, male and female, believe that it is acceptable for the husband to chastise his wife as he would his children. For you sake, I would steer clear of Fundamentalist churches given the deplorable abuse you have experienced. I would be fearful that such a church would not support you in such a matter, and should you ever share your past, you may be judged unfairly.

Be blessed in you search. It may take that you change religions to find what you are needing. There are many paths that lead to God in addition to mainstream Christianity.

Love and Light,
Peacemaker (Sherri)

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.

The above passage is why I became a mystic. I found my true path and am truly blessed with all that is good and of God.

[bebop]

I am very sorry. these people were wrong to tell you that. (((hugs)))