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#1
Apr 11, 2019, 10:57 PM
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If this was your last day on this earth would you forgive anyone who had hurt you?
Some of them? All of them? 
__________________
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 88Butterfly88, Anonymous43949, avlady
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#2
Apr 11, 2019, 11:16 PM
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I would want to forgive all of them but sometimes I wonder if I am capable of forgiving certain ones. I've tried things that have been recommended, like writing a letter and burning it or talking to T and EMDR, to get over these things and I still can't forgive certain people. Maybe if I knew, without a doubt, it were my last day, I would be able to. I dunno...
__________________
 Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
| avlady, Fuzzybear, SophieOfDorne
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 Fuzzybear, MeInMyBunnySlippers
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#3
Apr 12, 2019, 09:03 AM
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I already have. I do not like the word forgiveness or forgiven- it sounds to much like absolution or forgetting to me and that its aimed at the person who did the bad stuff. I like to say I've made peace with those I have been wronged by and accepted the past. Not letting the past affect my present is much easier than it used to be. Acceptance does not mean approval. Me making peace with people that have hurt me is for me- not them and not anyone else. It is so I can move on without baggage and live my best, most authentic life. It means I do not have to waste or make a withdraw of energy from my energy "bank account" where there is a finite amount of energy for me to spend daily. I do not like to allow the negative to monopolize my time. I could never have gotten to feel this way if I hadnt gotten sober and had therapy.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
| avlady, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, Have Hope, MeInMyBunnySlippers, sadveiledbride, Taylor27
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| Breaking Dawn, childofchaos831, Fuzzybear, Have Hope, MeInMyBunnySlippers, sadveiledbride, SophieOfDorne, Taylor27
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#4
Apr 12, 2019, 09:09 PM
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Beautifully said sarahsweets!!!
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, MeInMyBunnySlippers
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| Breaking Dawn
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#5
Apr 12, 2019, 09:16 PM
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Quote:
Thank you Sarah. This helps me right now more than you know. 
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
| Fuzzybear
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#6
Apr 13, 2019, 07:20 AM
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On my deathbed ? Probably. Only because I know that I very soon will no longer be able to remember the hurt. Forgiving and then forgetting is a hard thing to do. What makes it very hard to forgive is the people who never apologized for what they did. Maybe on the last day the people who hurt me can develop the humility to say “ I’m sorry “. Like I said to the people I hurt at the last moment.In the end I think I’ll let God do the forgiving. I hope He forgives me for not being able to forgive others.
__________________
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. *Disclaimer * Anything I have posted is strictly my own personal opinion or experience , and is in no way, shape, or form meant to portray a professional assesment of any kind. CB |
| Fuzzybear
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| childofchaos831
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#7
Apr 20, 2019, 09:00 AM
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Well, forgiveness is the cornerstone of my religion, so I try to do that anyway. As Sarahsweets said so well, it isn't about being a doormat, it's about taking away people's power to hurt you in the long run. How does that go in the 12 step programs? Change the things you can, and let go the things you can't?
That, and because all of us have hurt others in some fashion along the way, we need to be forgiven for that in the same way. |
| Breaking Dawn
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, sarahsweets
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#8
Apr 20, 2019, 03:05 PM
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Well said Sarahsweets could not agree with you more hugs
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| Fuzzybear
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#9
Apr 20, 2019, 04:21 PM
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I would forgive everyone except my abuser. He was a religious leader so it makes it harder for me to forgive him.
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| Medusax
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#10
Apr 21, 2019, 09:09 AM
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Depends on how bad the act was. There are things that can be forgiven and things that cannot and should not, IMO. I could die very peacefully still holding a grudge against those who deserve it. Sorry...no warm fuzzies here on this subject.
__________________
I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. 
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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#11
May 03, 2019, 06:47 PM
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From my experience, forgiveness is not always possible by the intention and affirmation, our memories keep the hurt alive, I tried for decades but some anger always remained. However to the extent we surrender our heart to God, forgiveness comes naturally. Iow, God is unconditional love, and to the extent we surrender out heart to God, His love becomes our love and forgiveness will always occur, yes, even 70 times 7 times.
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| Breaking Dawn
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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