[jrae]

could probably use some prayers or good thoughts or something.......

on Thursday, the doctor told me they are sending me to a cancer institute/center for some imaging testing and evaluation! something is going on but the local docs can't find it/see it/don't know.

my head is going a million mph in a million directions. one part cuz i KNOW something is going on physical health-wise, second part cuz the doc made that decision withOUT knowing all that's going on, and third part cuz there's been 5 different cancers in my family (counting immediate family plus aunts & uncles & grandparents, no one else) !!!!!!!

[Skeezyks]

[*Beth*]

You have my prayers and good thoughts.

Any updates, jrae?

[jrae]

yeah, here goes.

i had a consult done with an oncologist. he and the expert radiologist examined my ultrasound and CT scan, and they determined the lump was probably bone-like in nature. [i guess that means it is either ON the bone nearby or IN the bone -> not sure which is scarier] since that wasn't their expertise, they said go to a specialist in orthopedics.

after some inquiring to a few 'local' places, i went with one in a bigger city so i could get it all done in one place (imaging all the way to a biopsy if need be).

and i just heard back from them today. you guys are the FIRST to hear this!

so .... after looking at my scans, that doctor determined to not have me come there - but instead send me to their 'home/main facility' in a big city. i was told the reason behind that is because if surgery is needed, due to the location of the lump i would actually need a cardiovascular surgeon in-house!

that thought hadn't occurred to me yet! so i've been a little freaked out today.
my first appt with this new doctor is on tuesday. and at this point, i have no idea how it will go. it literally could be anything from 'it's benign & nothing to worry about' to 'let's get more detailed imaging done' to 'we need to remove it right away'. so idk

no one has officially told me the 'c-word' isn't an option, so who knows. i guess the bottom line is regardless of what it's called, something is still going on, and we need to find that out.

i'm just incredibly exhausted!

[TunedOut]

Jrae, Such emotional news! You have a huge journey ahead and I will pray for you. Hopefully, the surgery can be done laparoscopically so that you will recover from it quickly. Lately, I have found that when I am anxious, cannot sleep, etc., God does help me sleep when I pray for help falling asleep at night. I would imagine that all that is involved with getting news like this has your mind going nonstop. There is a lot of preparation and waiting involved. If you have never had a big surgery before, of course you are nervous. Pray and take it one day at a time. Find things to enjoy while you wait. For me, just a good cup of coffee provides a lot of pleasure. Hugs.

[jrae]

yeah, I guess one way or another, it will be some kind of journey!

I don't know if it will require surgery or not. the doctor my appt is with on Tuesday is actually an orthopedic surgeon! and it's a morning appt, so i'm hoping that means any additional tests or scans or imaging could get done that day. i'm not expecting a bunch of answers right away. but just some kind of info or a 'heads-up' direction so to speak. but things could take a while, as i also have what may or may-not be a second lump, not far from the first one!

and no, i've never had major surgery before. the only surgery i've ever had was like eight years ago - had a cyst removed from the top of my wrist joint. they just numbed my arm and i was awake the whole time. i could hear and smell things, and at times knew exactly what they were doing -> and i kept my pulse under 71-bpm the entire time!! of course, that was my pre-era (car-crash & 2 brain injuries) so i was in a ton less pain.

and i'm already taking medicine to help me sleep. [a sarcastic 'thank you head pain' ] my brain-injury journey is still continuing, now at 16-months and counting! plus the other 'journey' i'm still on -> can't do any more.

i just have an extremely small amount of fight left in me. a 'c' diagnosis would probably break me - to which i doubt i could recover!
and i AM all alone -> there is not a single person IRL that i could trust/lean on/'help' me! that realization is terrifying, especially with thoughts of 'new treatments' rolling thru my head!

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by jrae

I don't know if it will require surgery or not. the doctor my appt is with on Tuesday is actually an orthopedic surgeon! and it's a morning appt, so i'm hoping that means any additional tests or scans or imaging could get done that day. i'm not expecting a bunch of answers right away. but just some kind of info or a 'heads-up' direction so to speak. but things could take a while, as i also have what may or may-not be a second lump, not far from the first one!

and no, i've never had major surgery before. the only surgery i've ever had was like eight years ago - had a cyst removed from the top of my wrist joint. they just numbed my arm and i was awake the whole time. i could hear and smell things, and at times knew exactly what they were doing -> and i kept my pulse under 71-bpm the entire time!! of course, that was my pre-era (car-crash & 2 brain injuries) so i was in a ton less pain.

i just have an extremely small amount of fight left in me. a 'c' diagnosis would probably break me - to which i doubt i could recover!
and i AM all alone -> there is not a single person IRL that i could trust/lean on/'help' me! that realization is terrifying, especially with thoughts of 'new treatments' rolling thru my head!

Jrae

Hopefully, if there is surgery, it will be of the non-invasive type. Some surgeries are like that. I have been through both an emergency thoracotomy and then a followup surgery which was done laparoscopically. If you do need surgery and it can be done lararoscopically--you may be able to recover fast (Recent Advances in Laparoscopic Surgery | Medical | Hudson Valley | Chronogram Magazine).

I would be happy to hear about your progress in this area. I have been in the hospital and have helped a family member who was in the hospital. Also, I know waiting time crawls when you are waiting to hear such important news. Doctors have lots of cases and get so busy. Do you have a smart phone allowing you to post or message from the hospital if you should need to go? I hate to hear that you have no one to talk to while you go through this and volunteer to check in on you once a day if you like. Private message me anytime. I try to check into PC once a day. (Sometimes I am not feeling talkative and just look but I always check my messages.) Hugs and you are in my prayers.

[jrae]

tomorrow i have an appointment with a Thoracic Surgeon/doctor. i will be at the Cardio/Thoracic Surgery clinic, which is at the Heart Hospital.

i have no idea if they will be able to provide some answers as to what is going on. but i fear someone needs to soon, as things seem to be getting worse as this year goes along.

[TunedOut]

I have been praying everyday that the doctors figure out how to help you. Hope you finally get some answers today. I find not knowing is sometimes worse than knowing even when the news is bad but am praying that the news is good, as in, the doctors can do something to help you recover!

[Rive1976]

I'm praying for you.

[jrae]

thanks everyone. sorry i've been a little slow in posting an update. i am just struggling with all that is happening....


I learned a couple things from my appt with the Thoracic doctor.

1) I have inflammation in my chest wall (front part of rib cage, around the sternum);
[doesn't know how long it will be there or the cause]
2) treatment for that would probably be corticosteroid injections in the joints around the sternum;

3) two of the three lumps i've noticed are something he called traumatic arthritis - meaning they didn't heal properly or completely and a 'lump' formed as it healed, which causes pain because things aren't 'lined up properly or working smoothly'.
[ since this is in my front upper rib cage, it means pain from simply things like moving or stretching the arm]


this is only 'part' of the puzzle, as there is at least one other thing going on with my torso/body. [adding new symptoms has me quite nervous]

more will be posted here:
what would you do

[jrae]

so the front-rib-cage now becomes the 4th area on my body i can do/will do steroid injection shots!

i've already gotten steroid injection shots in my lumbar-spine (for pain) and in my head (brain injury trauma headaches/migraines). and it seems like i will continue with those for the foreseeable future.
i've also been given the option to get steroid injection shots in my cervical-spine - but up to now i've pushed that option off, trying to delay it as long as possible.

you see..... a person can only have a max steroid amount/volume in their body/system at one time. meaning you can only do one shot/area at a time - then wait for the medicine to get out of your system before doing another one.

i may be in some SERIOUS hot water if i now have to choose between 3 spots! cuz that basically means which pain-spot do you treat, leaving you with the others to bare in full force.
how the 'h' would a person be able to decide, sure i'll take the head-pain over the chest-pain or let's do the chest area and leave the head-pain !?!?!?!

[Prycejosh1987]

Prayers and thoughts to you, i wish you all the best.