[Juliaspavlov]

My son is in the psych ward at the moment
again about his 7th time hes 23 years old.
He's been told he has schizoaffective disorder/bipolar.
I thought he was just schizophrenic.So is there a big
difference?
Ive read some threads here and hear familiar
things ive experienced as his mom.
Like when he didnt eat for 3 weeks and when I
found him and brought him food he thought I was
trying to hurt him.
He has problems with "Omnicromnises" he calls them
alien like demons.

Can anyone enlighten me about the disorder please.

[mgran]

When I've been very poorly I've been sure I've been targetted by supernatural beings. Sometimes it was angels and demons, sometimes it was ghosts, there was a period when I was at university that it was aliens, and from childhood early teens to about nineteen or so I believed it was the Sidhe (that's the scary version of faeries in Ireland.) Sometimes I kept these fears well under wraps, other times they overwhelmed me and affected my ability to cope in the world.

I also suffer from extreme mood swings, general paranoia (officialdom or neighbours always seem out to get me) and often (even now that I'm on medication) I think that my phone is bugged, or I'm being persude by people in vehicles (landrovers and emergency vehicles... it's to do with a place I used to work.) I still see things that aren't there, though not so frequently, and hear things that nobody else does.

I think it's basically a form of schizophrenia with a mood disorder thrown in, either major depression or bipolar. As well as the symptoms I've described above I've had deep depressions, and mood swings, sometimes euphoria, sometimes what they call a "mixed state", when I'm thinking fast and working hard, not eating much, not sleeping much, but with a great deal of anxiety and aggression bubbling away. In these states I often get extremely paranoid.

[Juliaspavlov]

thanks mgran your experience as ive been reading
in your threads really helps me get a grip on what
my son is probably going thru.He will be in hospital
for a while. I wish I could ask him the right questions
to communicate my care and love for him.
I say I worry about you and he doesnt like me
worrying he says he wants me to be happy.
I cant get the right words....in a sense its not
worry but something else like wanting to be with him
thru things but unable to.......
I hope you have ones to be with you in troubled times....jjulia

[mgran]

Hi Julia,
with me it's almost the other way round. My son is on the asperger's spectrum, but very high functioning. For a lot of his childhood he believed in some of the hallucinations I described, partly because kids believe their Moms, but also because aspies are very literal in their interpretation of the world, and it never dawned on him that I might be hallucinating. Fortunately for us both I was married to a very kind and considerate man for much of his childhood, and he kept things on an even keel... while I was with him I was less symptomatic. After his death things went wrong fairly quickly for me, and at this point my son was able to put it together that my perceptions weren't trustworthy. Following his stepfather's example he was very gentle with me, and I began to realise that I needed help. My son is the one who's always there for me. The rest of the family know my diagnoses, and are sympathetic in different ways. My stepmother is completely pragmatic, and sees it as being no different from diabetes or high blood pressure. My brother is sympathetic, but a little unnerved, as our mother also suffered from a serious mental illness... I think he's concerned I'll be like her, though my illness hasn't progressed in the manner hers did. (I hallucinate more, and am less paranoid). So there are times when he keeps me at arm's length... perfectly understandable when you take into account how awful his childhood was, particularly towards the end of my mother's life. My father is in denial, really. He still asks when am I coming off the medication, and if I'll start losing weight soon. The thing is, all three of them love me, and that counts for a lot. You don't have to be perfect for your son to feel the safety your love accords him. You might not have the words, but you have the heart, and I know that you will find a way to cope with this. If you love someone you'll always find a way.

There is a very good book you could look up online called "Surviving Schizophrenia," and an even better one (more practical, and for families more than clinicians) called "I'm not sick, I don't need help" which will help you with communication strategies, ways of talking to your son that will take the burden of worry off both of you. I'd advise the second, since the communication skills mentioned in it are very helpful. I know that I couldn't have agreed with it before medication, but now that I'm reasonably stable I am able to understand and take more in about my condition. Here's hoping that your son will soon be stable, and I really do hope that you can forgive yourself for not being perfect, and be happy in the knowlege that your love will go a long way toward healing.

[porcupine2]

I am newly diagnosed with this illness, however I believe it has been going on for years but was diagnosed as bi-polar depressive & generalized anxiety disorder. I've been seeing hallucinations, hearing doorbells, phone, knocks, etc but kept it to my self or joked that there were spirits around. But back to your question about symptoms - did you check under "conditions tab" on this site? It goes thru symptoms, treatments, and gives you resources to other websites as well - I would recommend the NAMI website - it was very helpful to me. Good luck - and blessings to you

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks Mgran and Porcupine

I'll have to keep my eyes open for those books....
I don't know what NAMI means its giving me a small chuckle
because my kids used to joke around saying
nami noomie to each other as a description of
something they couldnt put into words.(both bipolar one of them died
last year)..........(hugs for all your loved ones)))))....jjulia

[mgran]

Originally Posted by Juliaspavlov

Thanks Mgran and Porcupine

I'll have to keep my eyes open for those books....
I don't know what NAMI means its giving me a small chuckle
because my kids used to joke around saying
nami noomie to each other as a description of
something they couldnt put into words.(both bipolar one of them died
last year)..........(hugs for all your loved ones)))))....jjulia

Oh Julia, I'm sorry you lost one of your children, it must be the hardest most painful thing that could ever happen to a mother. You have my sympathies... no wonder you're so concerned about your son. Trust me, it can get better.

[Juliaspavlov]

thanks again Mgran
yes I am concerned because I thought he was
schizophrenic only and recently was told about schzoaffective/bipolar.
I was hoping it wasa wrong diagnosis.
Today he is transferred from a main hospital in Adelaide
to a clinic.He's been in that clinic before.
I asked could a social worker get him help to volunteer
planting trees (he lives not so far from Central Australia.
I had a dream last night that my mum was giving my eldest son(who died)
the strap and I couldnt understand her going berserk.
(she used to do that with us when we were young 7 kids)
warm thoughts ffor ev eryone especially if you have lots to deal
with.....jjulia

[mgran]

That sounds to me like a worry dream, perhaps a guilt dream as well. You have nothing to feel guilty for. My Dad used to use a bamboo cane to beat us. With my brother it was the back of the legs, with me it was the palm of the hands. My brother got the cane more often than me... that used to make me feel guilty, everytime he was punished I felt it was my fault. Believe it or not, we get on really well with our Dad now. He went to anger management classes after our mother died, and is a much mellower man as a result. I've always admired him for recognising a problem, and getting help. So many people would try to justify their aggression... he had the honesty to face up to himself, and ask our forgiveness.

I imagine your mother didn't mean harm either, seven kids is a lot to handle. I know it was more common in the previous generation than now.

[Singularis]

When I was first diagnosed all everyone ever did was show me pity. It really messed up my head because it made me feel like i was sicker then i was at the time. I understand your son may be a child but I understand were he's coming from when he doesn't want you to be upset. I felt as if my treatment was a team effort and if anyone around me was upset or treated me like I was sick I was completely on my own... or worried about them more then myself.. so my advice is to show a little more positive attitude, smiles are contagious.. and so is positive attitude!

-Best wishes to you and your family julia

[Singularis]

im sorry i should have read correctly.. im off my meds and things get quite confusing at times.. if he's 23 then we share a similar situation.. im 22 going on 23 in december

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks for letting me know Singularis
I like to hear from you having to go thru this stuff...
I really want to understand it and be encouraging...
thanks for your encouragement to smile....I will
certainly try.

[porcupine2]

I am newly diagnosed and I thank this forum for that. I had never heard of this before and reading the posts were like reading about myself. I'm still chuckling a bit, you have to have a sense of humor sometimes. Yesterday I had a bunch of eye tests and there's one that checks you peripheral vision by being shown a screen and clicking a device every time you see a light flash. The doctor said "this is odd" but your results show you are seeing lights 20% of the time that AREN'T there!! Just goes to show that I was not making it up when I said I see things out of the corner of my eye! Now I've got validation of that!

[mgran]

Hey, porcupine... that's weird! I've had that as well. And when I was still at secondary school I had a hearing test, and the guy testing me told me off for clicking when there wasn't any noise. I think he thought I was doing it on purpose.

[hawthoerne]

i used to see people that aren't there out of the corner of my eye. I thought they were trying to kill me >.<

[Juliaspavlov]

My son is saying My voice keeps yelling bad things at him.
He doesnt live with me.
I said tell the voice its lying I would never say that.
he said I have to send him thoughts of good things instead
of telling him to go to hell.
I told him there isnt a fiery hell and proved it from the bible with him.
He liked that.
Are there helpful things to do re hallucinations visual and auditory.
Ive had to have the peripheral test to for extra fluid in my brain.
we share stuff eh?