its back :(

I just went through a small period of no psychosis, I thought I was starting to get well again, but it came back. Feeling saws on my face, I have had this one a lot, and I must say it is one of my least favorites and I am less able to deal with it or ignore or it. Sometimes I really wonder about all my meds and if they make things better or worse? My mood has been really flat, I thought I was getting depressed, but I don't know, maybe it's too many meds. I have lost all my interest in everything, I feel pretty drugged up most days.

I'm sorry Anika. Sometimes it happens that, just as we're feeling okay, things seem to go backwards. In my experience you won't go as far back though, and you might recover more quickly. I'm sorry you're feeling so flat... it's a horrid sensation.

I've had a few of these times.

But, I always hear that. People say you won't go as far back. Though it seems I have gone further, and keep going further each time it happens. Not sure when it's gonna lessen. Is that true you wont go as far back? Or is everyone different?

(((((Anika)))))
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now, and I hope it passes soon.
My worst one ( I get it every day at the moment) is a feeling that my brain is being shocked and my vision becomes jumpy and thinking becomes confused for a while.
On antipsychotics I have a constant slightly down feeling, which I understand is a side effect. I also don't have nearly the emotional range I normally have when I'm healthy. Not sure that is the psychosis or the drug or both.

Sorry your feeling so crappy. I hate that flat feeling. I sometimes get oral sensations that cause me to make weird mouth movements, it's an awful feeling to see the psychosis coming on, like watching a train wreck. Just know you will circle back. Keep in close contact with family members and your prescriber, make sure everyone knows you are having a bad time of it.

Thanks for the kind words of support

I didn't give it a lot of thought but yesterday I had a big day for me. I stated a bikram yoga class, going with a friend of my bf's. So it had the awkward nerve wracking social aspect for me too, not to mention I hate groups and haven't been around people for a few months. Maybe that was a trigger, I was pretty worked up and stressed over the whole thing.

Can you be triggered like that? Has that happened to any of you?

Absolutely. Anything new to me is a probable stressor. Large groups or groups that require me to function with new skills is a stressor. I used to get very easily triggered by crowds, sudden loud noises, concerts etc. long before I was diagnosed. I thought it was simply part of life. I knew that such situations were likely to result in the buzzing mess of chaotic thoughts, a general sense of not coping, and a driving need to find a quiet place to get relief.

Hi Anika, I'm sorry you are struggling. Yes, stress definitely triggers psychosis for me. Although, to be honest, at this point, I'm not sure what is real and what is not... However, I hope you enjoy the yoga class and start feeling better soon.

yes...any pressure on me to "perform" or interact with people is a big trigger for me.

wish, well am gonna have 2 of these a week, hopefully it will get easier and I won't be triggered each time, I don't have a good feeling about it tho, and that really sucks if you are trying to do something healthy for yourself and are triggered enough by is to have psychosis.

Stress always, always, always triggers my psychosis. Then again, I can't take stress well at all. The littlest change can set me off. It doesn't help that I worry about a lot and have an extreme amount of anxieties.

It seems to just have stopped at that, keeping fingers crossed, thanks so much everyone.

Hi Newtus - I too have held out hope that next time I won't go as far back, but that hasn't held true to me. Sometimes I feel if I go any further I'm just going to dissolve into pure nothingness. The only way I can get thru it is to imagine the thread that I'm hanging by is the strongest rope there is. But I still don't completely trust that either. You're not in this alone...

Thank you so much for the reply! I was waiting, hoping someone would answer that. I'm glad im not alone. I, too, feel like each episode after this i'll be stuck in that episode, forever. Never knowing reality ever again, never knowing im sick, and never remembering how I was when I was well, because my memory function declines SO much.

Thanks again!

newtus, I am right there with you too! Memory and all.

Thanks, anika! I appreciate that!

How are you feeling now?