The importance of being in public

I find that being in public to be therapeutic and it helps me to contain my symptoms and lead a productive life. Isolating and letting my illness take charge of me, sucks. If anyone is isolating, I recommend getting out in public, even to just eat a meal or have a coffee.

Yes, brookwest, you give good advice - and the vast majority will benefit from it.

But I would also just like to add some advice and comfort to people who try going out in public and mixing with people - and then find themselves feeling much much worse.

I know the feeling, because I am one of those few.

Being in public just makes the disconnect feel greater between my reality and the reality which the rest of the planet operates under.

I prefer to remain in splendid isolation - in my own realm, where I'm in charge - not out in public where, I have to follow all the social conventions and fashions which others follow.

Fresh air and sunshine, of course, are very important - but (hopefully) you don't have to rub shoulders with anyone to experience those.

I know what I am saying goes against all the textbook advice about how isolation is a symptom of mental illness and how it can actually make matters worse. But I was told by a highly-respected psychiatrist that some people just prefer to be alone, and that for them it is natural - not unhealthy.

So, in conclusion, I agree with brookwest. Give it a try.

And if it doesn't work - you have lost nothing.

If being in "splendid isolation" helps you contain your symptoms, be there. I need reality checks, and many times being in public can verify or refute my beliefs about the world. Being alone too much can enocurage me to believe falsely. It is just me, I'm not a doctor.

Thanks brookwest for further expanding on your viewpoint.

May I just add a (lengthy) footnote?

We have to consider the reason someone might be isolating.

Social isolation is, itself, one of the possible symptoms of Schizoaffective disorder - so, if you have that symptom, it's not really a lifestyle choice per se.

As it happens, for some of us, this symptom gets steadily worse as the years go by. We are not "letting the illness take charge" of us. It is relentless and unstoppable.

We are ill, and so we have to adapt to that and make the best of it. Why should we feel guilty about it? It's not our fault and we did nothing wrong to arrive at this point. That's why I use the term "splendid isolation" - to make those who suffer from this feel okay about themselves - not because "splendid" is "better" but that "splendid" is "equal" and "fine" and "just as good" and "okay."

I agree that mixing and socialising is the norm for the vast majority of people. And I agree it can be a great reality check - unless you're psychotic, in which case the opposite could be true. If you've seriously lost touch with reality, it will take more than a coffee shop full of people to bring you back.

There are some people for whom mixing with groups of others is always a real problem. We just find it so painful to socialise - and so we don't. Even being in public can be awkward, as we ideally would wish to have no ego and to be invisible. So we tend to hide away. And sometimes we just can't explain why we have to be alone.

I just wanted to explain this from the viewpoint of someone who has (through symptomatic necessity) self-isolated since 1994 - so that others in a similar position may take heart. Don't feel guilty about your illness! And if others don't understand, that's not your fault. You have a perfect right to live your life according to your needs - same as they do.

I think being out in public is theraputic, for me too. But sometimes it makes me sad. Like today I went out to dinner by myself and saw a cute guy. I immediately felt bad because the pretty girl I used to be would have approached him and asked to join him. But the fat ugly person I am now couldn't do it, and it made me very sad.

So that's why I isolate. Because I am not good enough or pretty enough to socialize with people. I am trapped in my own life and misgivings.

Brookwest I agree with you to a certain extent. For 5 months I was off work with major depression. I needed to be at home. I couldnt work, I was a complete mess. But as I got more stable, although my anxiety was through the roof at times I found getting out of the house for a while did benefit me. In saying that I think you have to be on some level "stable" enough to push yourself. My psych doc was always saying "go out, even for a coffee". Some days I did, a lot of days I must say that I didn't. Sometimes we have to do things that are uncomfortable. Best wishes.