Just got diagnosed recently

I'm still learning about it. A few times in the past I thought I might possibly have schizophrenia, but knew I didn't, and so I guess this is a better fit for describing my symptoms.
I've always battled with social anxiety and a low level of depression that in recent years has increased due to stress and other life events.
So I have been on meds for anxiety and depression, but recently I confessed to my psychiatrist about other embarrassing symptoms I have at times.
I forgot to mention that I've always had a problem with talking to myself.
No one ever responds but I always have the acute feeling that someone is here watching and listening.
Of course I do this only while alone, and don't do it too often because I don't think it's healthy. But I did read an article recently that said talking to oneself can be therapeutic and and people who do so are actually smater . . .
Anyway, so I told my psychiatrist how I sometimes have these olfactory hallucinations, smelling things that aren't there. Like waking up in the middle of the night to a strong odor of dust and dirt on my pillow that wasn't there when I went to sleep- a smell I knew I was imagining - or thoughts that people somehow knew what I was thinking or that I was somehow an important part of the world in a weird spiritual way.
I told her of how when I was in college I had this crazy idea that I KNEW was ridiculous, but still couldn't shake that my friend and roommate was part of this secret government agency keeping tabs on me and my marijuana use for research purposes.
So I guess schizo affective disorder is for people with mild low level symptoms common with schizophrenia, but not to the point of completely losing touch with reality? That's what it seems like to me from the research I've done and from what my psychiatrist has told me- and it's often coupled with other mood disorders, such as my anxiety and depression.. So there you have it.
I'm curious to see what others have experienced . Thanks for reading.

Hi AngstyLady.
Welcome to the group.

I've seen the symptoms of people diagnosed with Schizoaffective vary widely in severity. I'm not sure about anything anymore, but it seems we have a more prominent mood episodes which are not as dominant in Schizophrenia. Sometimes we have reasonable insight into our issues, and other times we can have no idea we are not sharing the same reality as others.

Some of us are completely unable to hold down a job, while others manage quite well on their meds and therapy.

The trouble I have is I get triggered very easily by stressors most people take in their stride. I have also yet to find an antipsychotic drug that doesn't disable me more than my untreated symptoms do. That's a pretty lousy combination to have.

I get positive symptoms quite often - sometimes what my pdoc calls hallucinations and delusions, but mostly confused and intense fear that I am being tracked (one of the reasons I have very quiet periods of not posting on PC). Dreams that overflow into day time, visions that are confirmed by events that other people can't believe ...
I have bipolar mood swings, but generally not severe enough to account for the confusion and scary experiences I have.

Very often I feel alienated from people. Even when I am relatively well, rowdy groups pierce my senses to the point of feeling my soul is being assaulted, and I recoil in pain. That drives me to seek quieter space to talk to more sensitive people one-on-one, or to isolate completely while I try to recover from a particularly bad time of being overwhelmed.

During periods or relative normality, I still have to work hard at reality checking, and verify my perceptions of people and their meaning. These perceptions are strongly coloured by own distorted sense of self, which my pdoc attributes to limited insight.

That's me in a nutshell.

I feel the same as Tsunami. But I did what you did and didn't tell my pdoc about hallucinations and paranoia and delusions until I had 5 hallucinations in 10 days. I didn't tell him at first because I thought he'd think I was crazy. Now I realize its his job and he just diagnosed without making me feel weird. I remember, I asked him 'so,am I schizophrenic or bipolar? ' and he answered, 'precisely! '

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My schizoaffective is complicated. When I'm in an episode I hallucinate around 20 or more times a day. I don't make much eye contact anymore. This is embarrassing but sometimes I wear a tinfoil hat under a real hat. I have hallucinations in all 5 senses, but not all at once. I think that is rare. In an episode my reading skill deteriorate to the point of almost being called dyslexic. My eye tracking is off. I don't understand what others say, completely different words come out of their mouths. I don't know if that counts as a hallucination or not. My so called delusions are severe. The voices and visions are mild to moderate for someone with this disorder. Mine gets worse under stress. Sometimes it gets so bad that people threaten to put me in a state hospital and I lose insight at this time. My speech gets more disorganized and I have been in catatonia before for short periods of times. Just a few hours. Sometimes when its bad, I slow way down, walking and doing everything slowly. Being in a crowded place makes me shut down and sometimes I start screaming because they are all reading my mind and talking about me. I have heard them. I don't like people behind me, I always check and if there is a person behind me I start panicking. I make sure at an ATM that I'm the only one there because I don't want to be robbed or worse. If there is a person there, I let them go first. I also have autism so I'm oversensitive to sound. It makes me jump and scream if it was a sudden loud noise. I am probably forgetting a lot of things but that is how my schizoaffective presents itself. I also don't have what I call a spy cam on my computer, don't use e-mail because the government reads all of it. I know they watch everyone on the Internet but I can't live without the Internet.

Thanks for the kind welcome Tsunami surfer.
I do have to say I can relate a bit with feeling overwhelmed at times, as I am more of an introvert by nature. As it sounds like you are too.
It also sounds like you might be a bit clairvoyant though (what with having visions that come true, as you said).
Maybe this gift of yours is part of the reason you have trouble with losing touch with reality?
I manage pretty well on prozac, helps me deal with my anxiety and depression.
I can be more paranoid sometimes though, and truly feel like people can read my thoughts and know everything about me when they can't possibly. It's a weird feeling.

Yeah, I didn't tell my psychiatrist about these symptoms of mine until recently because I was super embarrassed about them, she soon diagnosed me as having schizoaffective disorder and told me she thinks I should be in therapy.
With everything going on in my life, I really can't afford it though.

Wow, that sounds pretty tough! Perhaps because you're autistic is why your condition can be so severe at times? I hope you are at least seeing a therapist, I don't know if any meds have worked at reducing your symptoms?
I've been pretty lucky. I've had similar instances but on a milder level. The few times though that I am not consistent with my depression/anxiety meds my symptoms increase. I can keep myself isolated, not wanting to leave my place for days and its a struggle to get ready to leave for work. Most of this is a social phobia though I think. Thanks for sharing, I hope you have a nice night.

I can relate to this perfectly. This is exactly one of the things that incapacitated me when in an acute psychotic episode (with or without antipsychotics).
This and the disorganised speech sound like "formal thought disorder".

I manage not to scream. It tends to make them stare even more. It is the staring eyes that really get to me. I remember a long line of posters in a shopping mall looking at me with evil intentions. As I walked they moved into my path and I had to move quickly to get past before they blocked my way completely. Even now that I am not in an acute episode, I feel uncomfortable with pictures of eyes staring at me. Live people usually don't stare quite so much at the moment (except for my pdoc and T. They just don't let up).

The hypersensitivity to sound is something that has never left me, even when my other symptoms have almost normalised. Startle response is entertaining or alarming to others. My family and people who see me regularly have become used to it, and pretend nothing is unusual when I jump or flinch or stick my fingers in my ears if a helicopter flies overhead. I read something recently about the thalamus being a part of the brain that is involved in gating sensory stimuli, to avoid hyperarousal and being overwhelmed by stimuli. Psychotogenic drugs and delirium pathogenesis... [Med Hypotheses. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI

The security caution is probably quite reasonable. Where I live, watching for muggers is just common sense. At checkouts I scan for security cameras that can record my PIN number when I pay by credit card, and I cover the EFTPOS device carefully to prevent them from seeing what I enter. Again, quite reasonable.

I think we are just a lot less gullible than many more complacent people. How do we get targeted advertising filling our computer screens? Of course we are being tracked. I don't think you are being unreasonable to be cautious. Just sensitive, that's all.