[dillpickle1983]

Still on the depressive side of things. My best friend Aaron moved away several weeks ago, and although not really far (same state) he is gone. Been really depressed. Because I got really depressed, at my lowest point I had a bunch of SZA symptoms that hit me, and they are still plaguing me now. I started to skip my meds, and now my doctors put me on a once per month shot of Abilify so I don't skip any more doses. Ugh. Anyways the last 3.5 weeks have been rough for me, but I think it is getting better. Still having delusions and seeing things, hearing my name wispered in my ear is getting kind of creepy.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm doing quite well.

[newtus]

when did schizoaffective forums get a check in thread?!??!?!!?!?!?!??

[dillpickle1983]

Originally Posted by newtus

when did schizoaffective forums get a check in thread?!??!?!!?!?!?!??

Well back in May I started it because there wasn't one.

[Terabithia]

I'm doing Ok. Managing to cope with being alone even though it's a very short period of time while my husband's at work. I just wish we brought in more money, so that I could do things that were meaningful to me while he was working, such as taking an art class, tennis lessons, or just buying my own art supplies. It's hard to feel good about yourself, when you're not doing things that are meaningful to you. I'm so thankful for meds. I've never understood why people would want to stop taking them. I don't remember some of my last trip to the hospital, but I do wonder if during that time, I may have refused my meds because I didn't think I was hallucinating and maybe meds. would make me see things as they weren't??? That's the only thing I could understand, if that's what I did. I would like to understand where others are coming from though with this.

[jgo27]

New to the forums here. All in all at the moment I'm getting ready for college, which has me excited and worried. Haven't been able to sleep lately which caused a spike in my symptoms. Things really kick in after my family is asleep. Hearing footsteps, and people talking downstairs, which always sets me on edge. Though this isn't anything new so it's manageable.

I'm probably going to watch movies till I feel tired. Do you guys have any movie suggestions? I'm open to anything!

Hope you guys are doing good!

[Terabithia]

movie suggestions
action - Hanna
drama, character study - Her
Slumdog Millionaire
comedy - Death at a Funeral - British version

[Blue_Bird]

Doing pretty good, gotta start working harder in therapy though not for my sza or bipolar which I've been doing great with but for my anxiety.

[worthit]

Doing well today. Last night had a hallucination but went for a walk on a salt and fresh water land reserve with a friend who works there. Very low symptoms while on the wAlk.

[Terabithia]

I need to rant. Hope that's ok. I'm not sure where to begin, though. Friday night I was at this party and a cake was served for my husband's birthday. I simply said, "Wow, that's really good. What kind of cake is that?" This woman said, "It's a black and white cake, DUH." I am EXTREMELY sensitive to "duh," because I was made fun of constantly when I was younger. I was always daydreaming, and on top of that things that were obvious to others were not so obvious to me. There are some parts of my personality that are very intelligent and others that just are not. I was treated like I was less of a girl and no guys were interested in me. Before this comment, this same woman was whispering to her husband all night, with her hand blocking her face from my view.

During one of my support groups yesterday, I actually caught myself rocking for a minute. That's something that I'd normally do in the hospital. I'm having a hard time being there for others, because I'm so caught up in my own problems right now - my mind will feel like it's crumbling apart at times, along with my personality. I crave cigarettes! I think people are constantly watching me and judging me, which I guess makes me a very self-centered person. Is there any other way to see that? It's so strange because usually I think I'm a caring person, but now I'm having my doubts. My meds. aren't right but I can't seem to get in with a doctor. I'm insecure, but my husband reassures me that "any day with me is better than a day without me." I'm very lucky and his reassurances do help a lot. When I'm without him though, I've been a mess. I know that I need to do things that will make me feel better about myself, and that I need different meds. Then I'll be better company for others, too. I just need an understanding ear, I guess.

[worthit]

I guess the best thing to do is talk to your Dr. Also, all these things you are talking about is your illness .Working on illness recognition is something that you can do to help yourself. All the symptoms of feeling people are talking about you, etc is your illness. When we are having a tough time, we don't think about others because we're too wrapped up in our own brains. Don't be so hard on yourself and maybe leave when you start to get overwhelmed at social events. Take care.

[Blue_Bird]

All I can say is, life is wonderful

[Terabithia]

How much a few words can do, as well as a smile. Thanks, worthit.
Feeling a little more at peace.

[Terabithia]

feeling confused...as usual, from absolutely nothing and absolutely everything

[Terabithia]

EXTREMELY paranoid

[Blue_Bird]

Doing good, had group today. That went well. My insurance expired and I have to re-enroll, so until I figure out how to do that no group next week, will miss my therapy appointment, and the week following I have an appointment with my pdoc to get my monthly Invega Sustenna injection, so who knows if I'll have it straightened out by then but otherwise I'm doing good

[Terabithia]

shower- check, dishes-check, still have yet to make the bed, which I really feel like climbing back into, sweep, and neaten up papers before husband gets home. I hate it when he comes home to a messy house. I hate that apathy wins over love(?) sometimes.

[dillpickle1983]

My brother who has shown no signs of mental illness posted on facebook today that he has been paranoid the last few days, and that people have been watching and talking about him. He's in the Army and I hope it is stress related, but being that he is younger than me by about 2 years we probably have the same common trait. Anyways I am a bit worried. I will ask him in the morning how he feels.

[Terabithia]

I'm healed! I'm cured!

The dr. took me off Abilify, and I'm reading for the first time in 4 months.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Terabithia

I'm healed! I'm cured!

The dr. took me off Abilify, and I'm reading for the first time in 4 months.

That' great!

I'm doing good, having trouble getting to sleep lately though.