possible sza?

I'm sorry, i know these posts are so annoying but i like having personal conversation since everyone has different experiences, so please do not mentally stone me c:

anyway, i think it is possible that i have schizoaffective (not sure which type, prob bipolar). I mostly suffer from delusions, i do not hear voices though, however i do have intrusive thoughts. I have had auditory hallucinations in the past but it is kind of sparse. I also have some perceptual problems, like seeing things out of the corner of my eye or seeing faces in stuff. I read this is common with psychosis?

To start off, i have constant paranoia about people laughing or talking about me, hating me, following me, wanting to hurt me, etc. I also believe i need to die (prob kill myself) in order to find the "true me". I think people in my life are in on something, planning against me. I have feelings of superiority and sometimes feel god or devil like. Like i am just a very special person with a bigger purpose. I mostly keep these thoughts to myself, but it definitely makes me isolate. Sometimes i feel like the only person in the world and just dealing with people really stresses me out because im always on high alert. I have these thoughts like 99% of the time, and they get worse when i am having a mood swing or panic attack, they are pretty quick mood swings though, no longer than a day or few, sometimes shorter (i blame bpd). I also have a few negative symptoms.

The thing i am hung up on is the "2 weeks of psychosis without mood symptoms" thing. I cant really tell when im having a mood episode because im so used to it and everything blends together. I dont think im having an episode right now but im not sure because everything feels chaotic in my head (bpd again). It is important to note i dont experience mania, but a mixed state (which is why i have NOS tacked onto m bipolar dx). So maybe this is bipolar with psychotic features, or maybe sza? Sorry this was long...

Are you in any kind of therapy or under a doctor's care. I think you need to tell your doctor how you are feeling and see what can be done to help you.

yeah i go to a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month or so :/ I wasnt honest about these kinds of thoughts though

You need to be honest with your doctor. Took me a long time to get to that point though.

yeah it is hard. what do you think of my symptoms? considering you have bpd and schizoaffective ?

Hi chasms, no one on here can diagnose you but your symptoms are similar to those with Schizoaffective Disorder.

I am Schizoaffective Bipolar Type, I've had psychotic symptoms both in and outside of my mood disorder. The difference is when I'm not manic or depressed I'm not suicidal or not staying up for days in a row with other mania symptoms.

It seems like a tricky disorder to diagnose, it took awhile for my doctor to give me this diagnosis. First it was just Bipolar Type 1 for quite awhile.

I no longer have symptoms because I'm on medication that has helped tremendously:
Invega Sustenna (monthly injections)

Be honest with your doctor and get the help you need

EDIT: I just saw you said you have bpd, so the manic stuff I wrote about may not apply to you.

I mean, I know no one can diagnose me, I just want to know if my experiences corroborate with people with schizoaffecrive :0

right now I'm also diagnosed with bipolar nos, along with bpd. I don't experience mania alone though, because it comes in the form of a mixed state so idk. it's kinda confusing.

I don't have bipolar or BPD, but I do have schizoaffective disorder, and while I can't diagnose you, it sounds like you might be experiencing things that seem consistent with psychosis of some sort. My suggestion is you talk to your doctor and be completely honest. The only way they can give you a correct diagnosis is if you be 100% honest with them.

Also, the difference between schizoaffective and bipolar with psychotic features is that someone with bipolar only experiences psychosis during a mood episode, whereas someone with schizoaffective experiences psychosis outside of a mood episode.

i tried to explain these thoughts to my psychiatrist today but was pretty ineffective. i was disassociating and said "um" and "i dont know, nevermind" 90000 times. soo, cool i guess