[Angelwngs25]

Hi, I'm Kristina as most of you know and I was recently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder on the 25th of June. I saw a Psychiatrist at my IOP program (Intensive Out-Patient) and he diagnosed me as having Schizoaffective Disorder. I am really worried about myself because I am going through a severe Manic episode and I have been staying up a lot later and not getting much sleep. My program director at my IOP program forced me to stay at the program on Thursday when I didn't feel good and I was going off on everybody. I was getting really irritable around people and at things people said. I was crying almost the whole time I was there. Then when I got home I didn't have support from my girlfriend and I ended up in the hospital because I was really really really not feeling well and severely manic, like the most manic I have ever been. The doctors at the hospital wouldn't prescribe me meds for my mania, they just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting sick because I had a temp of 100.0 degrees. They were purposely ticking me off because I had taken my meds and they made me to where I couldn't stay awake. And the doctor kept having a nurse or someone put some kind of crap up my nose to wake me up so I could go home in a cab because for some reason they wouldn't send me home when I was so tired and I kept falling asleep.

Here's some questions I have about Schizoaffective Disorder:

1)Do people who have Schizoaffective disorder have a lot of paranoia about totally insane things like aliens coming to abduct them all the time (which is the kind of paranoia I usually have)?

2)Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder talk to themselves (or mumble under their breath) a lot especially right before they go to sleep (because I do that like every night and no matter what medication I'm on it never goes away)?

Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder hear voices/see things a lot? And does it get worse as they get older?

[insilence]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

Hi, I'm Kristina as most of you know and I was recently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder on the 25th of June. I saw a Psychiatrist at my IOP program (Intensive Out-Patient) and he diagnosed me as having Schizoaffective Disorder. I am really worried about myself because I am going through a severe Manic episode and I have been staying up a lot later and not getting much sleep. My program director at my IOP program forced me to stay at the program on Thursday when I didn't feel good and I was going off on everybody. I was getting really irritable around people and at things people said. I was crying almost the whole time I was there. Then when I got home I didn't have support from my girlfriend and I ended up in the hospital because I was really really really not feeling well and severely manic, like the most manic I have ever been. The doctors at the hospital wouldn't prescribe me meds for my mania, they just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting sick because I had a temp of 100.0 degrees. They were purposely ticking me off because I had taken my meds and they made me to where I couldn't stay awake. And the doctor kept having a nurse or someone put some kind of crap up my nose to wake me up so I could go home in a cab because for some reason they wouldn't send me home when I was so tired and I kept falling asleep.

Here's some questions I have about Schizoaffective Disorder:

1)Do people who have Schizoaffective disorder have a lot of paranoia about totally insane things like aliens coming to abduct them all the time (which is the kind of paranoia I usually have)?

2)Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder talk to themselves (or mumble under their breath) a lot especially right before they go to sleep (because I do that like every night and no matter what medication I'm on it never goes away)?

Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder hear voices/see things a lot? And does it get worse as they get older?

i used to get fully interactive telapthic/audio attacks. involving aliens, religion, government scare tactics. you need to be emotionally ready to handle scary and inhuman suffering. the voices and visions to me are inuced lies by a bio-interactive technology.

1)Do people who have Schizoaffective disorder have a lot of paranoia about totally insane things like aliens coming to abduct them all the time (which is the kind of paranoia I usually have)? it really depends on the person. everyones experience differs. i personally dont have paranoias like this but more of a feeling that people are purposely trying to destroy me

2)Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder talk to themselves (or mumble under their breath) a lot especially right before they go to sleep (because I do that like every night and no matter what medication I'm on it never goes away)?everyone mumbles and talks to themselves from time. i see a lot of people that do that. doesnt mean schizoaffective disorder.

Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder hear voices/see things a lot? And does it get worse as they get older?again it depends on the person. most do have some form of auditory/visual hallucinations. but its treatable with the right meds. and yes it could get worse as it gets older but that is usually in the cases of non compliance with treatment although not always. some people have gone their life unmedicated and been fine, others not so much. best thing you can do for yourself is be compliant with your docs recommendations. that is what i have done and i lead a pretty normal life despite being schizoaffective.

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

Hi, I'm Kristina as most of you know and I was recently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder on the 25th of June. I saw a Psychiatrist at my IOP program (Intensive Out-Patient) and he diagnosed me as having Schizoaffective Disorder. I am really worried about myself because I am going through a severe Manic episode and I have been staying up a lot later and not getting much sleep. My program director at my IOP program forced me to stay at the program on Thursday when I didn't feel good and I was going off on everybody. I was getting really irritable around people and at things people said. I was crying almost the whole time I was there. Then when I got home I didn't have support from my girlfriend and I ended up in the hospital because I was really really really not feeling well and severely manic, like the most manic I have ever been. The doctors at the hospital wouldn't prescribe me meds for my mania, they just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting sick because I had a temp of 100.0 degrees. They were purposely ticking me off because I had taken my meds and they made me to where I couldn't stay awake. And the doctor kept having a nurse or someone put some kind of crap up my nose to wake me up so I could go home in a cab because for some reason they wouldn't send me home when I was so tired and I kept falling asleep.

Here's some questions I have about Schizoaffective Disorder:

1)Do people who have Schizoaffective disorder have a lot of paranoia about totally insane things like aliens coming to abduct them all the time (which is the kind of paranoia I usually have)?

2)Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder talk to themselves (or mumble under their breath) a lot especially right before they go to sleep (because I do that like every night and no matter what medication I'm on it never goes away)?

Do people who have Schizoaffective Disorder hear voices/see things a lot? And does it get worse as they get older?

1). Yes. That happens to me quite often. Especially about aliens.

2). I don't think I do.

3). I see and hear things 24/7. I'm always paranoid. And it has gotten worse since it started for me.

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[avlady]

i used to be like all of above mentioned, was put on meds and rarely have these symptoms anymore. i am depressed alot that is a whole differrent diagnosis, but i'm saying the meds do help alot.

[bint]

I hope that by our creators will u be able to cope up with ur circumstances.
I am trying to find wats wrong with me cuz i talk to myself a lot not just at night but amylso wen I doing daily chores or wen i am free n i always get distracted from the task at hand by this self talking thing. I living in a different world with almost the same peeps in my real life but sadistic or extreme situation with respect to my current life.

[A18793715]

It sounds like a dissociative disorder.

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[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by A18793715

It sounds like a dissociative disorder.

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What sounds like a Dissociative disorder? My symptoms?

[Olanza-what?]

I was diagnosed and manic depression (BP) with schizo-effective issues about 2 years ago, funny thing is that no doctor actually said I was. I learned what the diagnose was an inpatient stay of 8 days, to be followed by another inpatient 7 days and three months later, inpatient 11 days. My release papers had it written on it. I thought I was just sucidal. Today, I had to do blood work to check med levels and again I saw the ICD-Code as BP/Schizo. I had asked my pdoc a year ago what was wrong with me,,,,,he never answere. I

I hear things, see things, smell things and feel things touching me. There is so much I have not shared with them because they were not up front with me. When I tell them what I feel, hear or see (like the car is following me home or that I saw a ghost) they just look at me like I am crazy.

Because of their lack of communicating with me, educating me etc...I took to internet. I learned that there are many, many variations of schizoeffective, but no definte description, I know that doesn't help at all, but I think that is why my docs just sit and look at me because they have no clue either.

I suggest that you continue to tell your docs what is going on with you and ask them to clarify your diagnosis, to break it down until you understand. In the mean time I am also seeking answers for my vague diagnosis. Good luck to both of us and anyone else in the boat.

Oh yea, I think rambling is for sure one of the symptoms/events, I do it too and I freak people out.

[The_little_didgee]

I don't understand how people get a major diagnosis like this without suffering a psychotic break - full-blown psychosis without insight.

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I don't understand how people get a major diagnosis like this without suffering a psychotic break - full-blown psychosis without insight.

i don't understand it either. sometimes i am not sure if people come to psychcentral to talk to those with actual MI to then go and report false symptoms to their psychs.

that is just what i feel like some people do.
i am not speaking about anyone in particular.
i am just stating what i feel like some people do.

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

i don't understand it either. sometimes i am not sure if people come to psychcentral to talk to those with actual MI to then go and report false symptoms to their psychs.


that is just what i feel like some people do.

i am not speaking about anyone in particular.

i am just stating what i feel like some people do.

I figured we're research subjects.

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[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

i don't understand it either. sometimes i am not sure if people come to psychcentral to talk to those with actual MI to then go and report false symptoms to their psychs.

that is just what i feel like some people do.
i am not speaking about anyone in particular.
i am just stating what i feel like some people do.

OMG, you bring up a good, good point.

I often feel that my pdoc thinks I am making up my issues even tho I explained to him that I have delt with the ghost since childhood. The other things are somewhat new, but nevertheless very real to me. I didn't learn about simple partial seizures until I had the symptoms and couldn't describe them to my neuro doc, so I don't know if my events are seizure or schizoeffective? What bothers me is that they didn't believe me because I had such a hard time describing the melting, the inner earthquake, the color shapes, the smell of lavendar and amonia, the earth swallowing me and the many other sensations, feeling etc...

I left my first neurodoc and pdoc. Though they prescribed meds, I always thought they were placebo's because the events never stopped, it took some time to find a neuro and pdoc to take time to really listen to me. I don't have that many episodes with new meds combination, except for the ghost, and sometimes I actually feel fine.

I totally get what you are saying regarding those that take on symptoms than actually have them, I don't remember the medical term for this condition, something proxy?

You make a good point, and I believe some people do this, who knows why, for the drugs, attention? but for those like myself that actually experience this crap and struggle with getting help, heaven help us.

I will say this, after taking a neuro-cognitive test (which I know I passed with flying colors but still waiting on results) the neur-psychiatrist told me that the events that I am experiencing to include the depression is a direct result from my brain surgery. Finally confirmation, but still I question if she told me the truth (paranoia) I don't believe or trust anyone. Was she just pacifing me? I'll never know, guess I will have to wait and see what treatment change, if any, they will do.

I forgot to mention, even my husband has a hard time believing what I describe that happens to me...so where does that leave me? What should I do with the crap that does happen to me, be it the same as other's or different things that seem totally impossible? I often ask to myself....did that just really happen or am I trippin. It leaves me helpless and hopeless....suicidal in fact. It's like why bother

Originally Posted by A18793715

I figured we're research subjects.

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i know, and i didn't freaking ask to be an object of research.
this stuff makes me irate. nothing is even anonymous anymore.
joke. that's what i feel like. like i'm a monkey in a cage being poked with a stick with a buck-toothed scientist giggles at his "findings".

Originally Posted by Olanza-what?

OMG, you bring up a good, good point.

I often feel that my pdoc thinks I am making up my issues even tho I explained to him that I have delt with the ghost since childhood. The other things are somewhat new, but nevertheless very real to me. I didn't learn about simple partial seizures until I had the symptoms and couldn't describe them to my neuro doc, so I don't know if my events are seizure or schizoeffective? What bothers me is that they didn't believe me because I had such a hard time describing the melting, the inner earthquake, the color shapes, the smell of lavendar and amonia, the earth swallowing me and the many other sensations, feeling etc...

I left my first neurodoc and pdoc. Though they prescribed meds, I always thought they were placebo's because the events never stopped, it took some time to find a neuro and pdoc to take time to really listen to me. I don't have that many episodes with new meds combination, except for the ghost, and sometimes I actually feel fine.

I totally get what you are saying regarding those that take on symptoms than actually have them, I don't remember the medical term for this condition, something proxy?

You make a good point, and I believe some people do this, who knows why, for the drugs, attention? but for those like myself that actually experience this crap and struggle with getting help, heaven help us.

I will say this, after taking a neuro-cognitive test (which I know I passed with flying colors but still waiting on results) the neur-psychiatrist told me that the events that I am experiencing to include the depression is a direct result from my brain surgery. Finally confirmation, but still I question if she told me the truth (paranoia) I don't believe or trust anyone. Was she just pacifing me? I'll never know, guess I will have to wait and see what treatment change, if any, they will do.

I forgot to mention, even my husband has a hard time believing what I describe that happens to me...so where does that leave me? What should I do with the crap that does happen to me, be it the same as other's or different things that seem totally impossible? I often ask to myself....did that just really happen or am I trippin. It leaves me helpless and hopeless....suicidal in fact. It's like why bother

hardly anyone believes me. and with this "disorder" the ones who "do believe" me, i just feel like they're humoring me. so i won't "get mad". i don't know what to do anymore. i just act like i am a clown, since that is what they want to see. fuk 'em all.

[A18793715]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

i know, and i didn't freaking ask to be an object of research.

this stuff makes me irate. nothing is even anonymous anymore.

joke. that's what i feel like. like i'm a monkey in a cage being poked with a stick with a buck-toothed scientist giggles at his "findings".

Yup. My sister literally makes me to be a side show for her friends. she tells them all kinds of lies. Like that I have a phrase that'll "set me off" and I'll "go crazy". It hurts.

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[A18793715]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

hardly anyone believes me. and with this "disorder" the ones who "do believe" me, i just feel like they're humoring me. so i won't "get mad". i don't know what to do anymore. i just act like i am a clown, since that is what they want to see. fuk 'em all.

This. Exactly.

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[Olanza-what?]

At first I thought it was some kind of supernatural gift, like I was suppose to be able to do something profound for someone, the world? I suddenly noticed that people shunned me, when ever I walked into a room, dead silence....stares and whispers. It took some time to realize that it was me, that I either said something or did something that freaked them out. I keep to myself 99% of the time other than doctor appt, work, visiting my daughter and sitting in separate rooms of house with my husband, I am pretty much alone, a quiet world....it's just me and my seroquel. Oh and here at PC. Makes the depression that much harder to deal with.

Originally Posted by A18793715

Yup. My sister literally makes me to be a side show for her friends. she tells them all kinds of lies. Like that I have a phrase that'll "set me off" and I'll "go crazy". It hurts.

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it does hurt, and i know what you are talking about.
this is why i say that i "do not like people".

what they don't know about me, is that i care. TOO MUCH perhaps, about other people. and when i continue to get railroaded and disregarded, i will go off. that is a fact. not sure why i care so much when i always get that hot stove effect. tsss.

Originally Posted by Olanza-what?

At first I thought it was some kind of supernatural gift, like I was suppose to be able to do something profound for someone, the world? I suddenly noticed that people shunned me, when ever I walked into a room, dead silence....stares and whispers. It took some time to realize that it was me, that I either said something or did something that freaked them out. I keep to myself 99% of the time other than doctor appt, work, visiting my daughter and sitting in separate rooms of house with my husband, I am pretty much alone, a quiet world....it's just me and my seroquel. Oh and here at PC. Makes the depression that much harder to deal with.

i will whisper to you "come sit next to me".
i am alone too. my child, my dogs, my computer.
alone. quiet. i come on PC to mingle and seems i get pissed off a lot.
i cannot understand the selfish-ness some project. moving on....

<<for you olanza.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

i will whisper to you "come sit next to me".
i am alone too. my child, my dogs, my computer.
alone. quiet. i come on PC to mingle and seems i get pissed off a lot.
i cannot understand the selfish-ness some project. moving on....

<<for you olanza.

So do I. I struggle to maintain my emotions. I latch out and destroy my own path, but am pushed to no ends and few choices. "The Whisperer" in my own head taunts me, it confuses me, it tempts me.

My goes out to you ((Smiles)), I know that pain. You're not alone, here at PC, I am there to. I get on other's nerves, I wreck emotions, but my world is dark and even scary to me. I am here to listen as well, PM any time needed. I spend all my spare time here at PC, waiting to talk, scream, share, listen and anything else that helps myself and others.

It is trully a cruel world even we shunn eachother here, at least that is the way I feel. Sometimes is seems like little clicks of folks that stick with only a select few, and I respect that, freedom of choice, but if I don't fit in with others that share/have my illness....then where do I belong.

Thank you for lending me your ear/heart....it's been, well, I think you know what I mean. Paranoia consumes me, my heart beats outside my chest, I to care too much and give too much emotionally.

Originally Posted by Olanza-what?

It is trully a cruel world even we shunn eachother here, at least that is the way I feel. Sometimes is seems like little clicks of folks that stick with only a select few, and I respect that, freedom of choice, but if I don't fit in with others that share/have my illness....then where do I belong.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by smilesandcries

It is trully a "Wonder Land".

[schizoaffective]

Being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder two-and-a-half years ago made a big difference to my life.

Finally I had an answer as to why I had been experiencing a lifetime of chaotic thinking, deranged behavior, outrageous delusions, periods of depression, periods of fantastic exuberance, times when I lost all contact with reality and times when I was paranoid and frightened - even of myself. I knew I was a complete head case.

The diagnosis helped me to understand that what was happening to me was merely the result of a fault within the brain - something I had been born with - and easily corrected with appropriate medication.

The medication saved me from the abyss into which I had been sliding, and has allowed me to live a happy life. Of course it is not "normal." There is no such thing as "normal" because each individual's mental state is somewhere along a spectrum. But my mood is currently stable.

I do still experience some psychosis, but I have learned to live with the occasional hallucination and my fixed delusions which, on the rare occasions when I share them, cause me to suffer considerable derision - much to my everlasting frustration. I know they are so-called "delusions" but I know they're actually true - if that makes sense. It's just so fantastic nobody believes me. The truth may come out eventually and I shall be proved right.

I think I am in remission - or as close to it as I can get - and I am very content.

If I had remained untreated, my previously unstable mood would have been the real killer - and the remaining psychosis now is just like a trip into the twilight zone. Nothing seems real there so I tread carefully and, if possible, keep away from other people.

People are generally not to be trusted too much and, if I look back at my life now, I think that just about everybody I ever met stabbed (or attempted to stab) me in the back in one way or another - and I never even knew it at the time. They conspired and colluded with one another. Perhaps I am too much of a soft target. Who cares? In the end I found happiness and they didn't.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by schizoaffective

Being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder two-and-a-half years ago made a big difference to my life.

People are generally not to be trusted too much and, if I look back at my life now, I think that just about everybody I ever met stabbed (or attempted to stab) me in the back in one way or another - and I never even knew it at the time. They conspired and colluded with one another. Perhaps I am too much of a soft target. Who cares? In the end I found happiness and they didn't.

Someday, maybe someday, I too will find the medium that you speak of. Thank you for sharing this, it adds a little hope for me and I am sure others as well.