[PinkOrchid]

Hi I'm new here. Hello everyone. I am reaching out for some sort of extra support or help with schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, and depression.

I do not currently see a counselor. I am very nervous to write in this forum but here goes:

I seem to be confused all the time and I feel like I'm not all there yet I'm aware of it somehow. I feel like every day is hard to go through and even fixing my hair is hard or making food. I had a rough past and some traumatic experiences.

I am currently in a new relationship with a man I love for 9 months and Iive with him and his mom. It's difficult to let him know how I really feel like which is very confused. I feel alone and separated from everyone and I function every day but I think and analyze EVERYTHING SO MUCH. I am constantly picking apart everything everyone says and does to see me what it means. Like everything has a hidden bad meaning...

I don't work. I just paint paintings to sell. That's all I can do now. It seems like everything stresses me and makes my heart pound. No one knows how bad I really feel and I am screaming inside. I just really am writing here so someone can hear me and maybe offer some help. I'm not the best at communicating this type of stuff.

I just mainly feel aware of being " out there" mentally but unable to change it....

I am so nervous to talk to anyone in person bc I already feel judged before I get there and it makes me upset. I have no friends and I mainly just like being by myself or with him but any other people make it hard for me and I feel shut down like why even bother anymore....

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[CANDC]

Hi PinkOrchid. Welcome to Psych Central (PC). I am sorry you have suffered from multiple challenges. I find paintings help me to express the feelings I have trouble expressing. People here at PC are open minded and compassionate and can often respond positively to us and you have the benefit of anonymity.

Glad you have joined our community.Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Wednesday at 8PM.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[PinkOrchid]

Thank you

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hi pinkorchid, i used to pick everything apart that people said. i thought everything had a twisted negative meaning. i sometimes think people have a hidden agenda for speaking to me; example: i am being analyzed or people only speak to me for their amusement. i sometimes believe people are trying to... take notes of the things i say and report them back to whoever (i know who, it's too much to elaborate here). i call it data collecting, hahaha. i also don't work, i collect disability however. and it sucks.

i also, don't take medications or go to therapy. i have had sza for 12 years now. however it has been 7 years since i have received any mental health help.

anyway, welcome to the schizoaffective forum.
and welcome to psychcentral.

[PinkOrchid]

Thank you

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