[Solipschism]

Hello, this is my first post on this forum so please forgive my general ineptitude at expressing my query.

I've been struggling with severe mental illness for the past 2-ish years (I'm bipolar type schizoaffective) and it has been quite a ride, which I fear I cannot continue to sustain at the pitch I've been going at. I have tried basically the entire atypical antipsychotic suite, and have displayed a marked hypersensitivity to the cognitive and physical side effects of the medications. I have currently settled on latuda at 20mg as it seems to be the least debilitating option as of yet.

While I have been out of the hospital for about 4 months (which is an an achievement for me) I still suffer from:

Cognitive impairment, learning difficulties, & thinking disturbances - I have currently just begun taking Strattera in the hope that it will avail me in my quest to regain some level of functionality. I feel like I've developed some form of ADD/ADHD, however with my extreme susceptibility to manic/psychotic episodes, stimulants such as adderall are out of the question. I would love any input concerning the repossession of mental faculties: I used to be a moderately intelligent fellow and now I find I can hardly hold a thought in my head, I have lost all of my powers of concentration, and my thinking has become a disorganized shambles.

Lack of motivation, anhedonia, apathy, and detachment - I want with all that I am to triumph (although perhaps that isn't the appropriate word)over this and live some sort of life, but when it comes down to it, I find I just can't seem to get things moving; when I am actually engaging in anything besides the hamster wheel in my head, I find myself detached and apathetic, unable to truly participate in any experience.

Semi-PTSD, and occasional delusional type thinking- This has been a mainstay for the past year or so. I have found that despite putting on a pretense of well-being, and my myriad drug cocktails, traces of my incredibly intense psychotic/manic episodes have encroached upon my normal thinking. I have been unable to completely dispel my deranged thinking, or flashbacks to my less sane states/thoughts.(which were disturbing to the point of constituting a series of traumatic experiences)

Medication side effects- while I am aware that I am on a very low dose of medication, I still can't seem to escape a host of medication related side effects.

Forgive me for rambling, I'd love some veteran advice concerning the art of getting by, regaining some measure of your mental facility, and staying sane.

Thanks for reading

[Skeezyks]

Hello Solipschism: I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Hopefully other members, here on PC, will reply with some useful suggestions. However, since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Nix]

Welcome to PC. I don't have any veteran advice but wanted to acknowledge your post and say that the PC community can definitely be helpful throughout the process of trying to maintain mental health.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Shoe]

Don't give up hope. I had a real difficult time when I was in my 20's back in the 70's.
Around 30, in the early 80's, I came out of it and have had a fairly normal life since.

[Solipschism]

Thank you all for the replies! Its encouraging to see people who haved lived through the difficulties attendant to mental illness and managing to maintain hope and morale!

[ickydog2006]

All I can say is don't give up, keep being honest with your Dr's. I know it is hard to trust them when a lot of what they do is making educated guesses that have drastic effects on our lives. I've spent half my life in therapy with Dr's trying different meds. My body tends to have very negative/drastic responses to a lot and I've had several hospitalizations. I'm 28 yrs old and for the first time since I was at least 6, I have gone over a year without hallucinations. I have my life back and although I know things could change and I may need to go inpatient again to get meds adjusted, I can tell you that for me it has all been worth it. Life still can be horrible, I still deal with side effects, and constant muscle pain, but I can at least live my life now and have meaningful relationships now. I still have days where I have to fight not to give up, but my life is so much better than it used to be.

[Spaceyspace]

I keep up with my hobbies. It helps my mind to feel stimulated. There were some years where I was overmedicated and so flat and dull. I think I am on a reasonable amount of medication, however I still have symptoms of paranoia and delusions, yet I know they are unreal, so the meds help.

Anyway, I love to read and and do art projects. I find cooking relaxing, and a little bit of exercise is always good too.

[Solipschism]

Well, I'm noticing a definite trend towards improvement over time. Thanks, guys and/or gals; y'all are champs, and I will do my best to maintain and focus on the good and the progress and can and am making.