today is hard

Thanks for explaining, reddragon. I can understand those sorts of feelings. There was a time when I had a lot of difficulty feeling comfortable in a number of situations too, especially the online environment. In fact, there was a time when if I felt uncomfortable, I would erase all my posts and leave the place behind entirely.

Maybe something else I'll explain about the music... The webpage for the music Big Calm is a page I created. As a result, there are no advertisements on that page. Most of the music I share here though comes from youtube. In those cases, I didn't create the page (or video). If there are advertisements it's probably because the people who did create that page used a free account. Often, free accounts do have advertising on them.

Anyway, thanks again for explaining. I hope you feel better about the idea that I wouldn't make fun of you -- it's just not my style. I also hope the move is going okay for you.

~ Namaste

I laugh now about the public spectacle I have made of myself in public in the past. I would react to my voices by answering them out loud in public. On the tube or train for instance. I used to get drunk and walk the streets of London shouting weird stuff or doing strange things with my arms like make weird shapes with them or reckon I could sense people moving through my hands on another block where I couldn't possibly see them with my eyes. My hands would 'sense' them. I got arrested on a few occasions for 'being drunk and weird'. Haha. I laugh about it now. I found a great med. last year that has got rid of just about all the nasty voices and I don't do seemingly crazy things that seem out of the ordinary to general Jo Bloggs.

I can only say what most people on here have said Reddragon which is hang in there, some meds are great, and you don't necessarily have to take massive doses, I'm on a small dose of Amisulphride and it sorts me out just fine.

It was a massive relief when I found the right med.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey Reddragon, I really do.

You are in my thoughts. x.

you say being drunk, drunk on what? i dont drink or do drugs. i dont even what to take meds that claim to help and dont but cause other problems. glade to assume you are sobber now, how long?

Well drunk on alcohol. I was never a fully blown alcoholic but used to go on 'benders' sometimes. Thats going back about 15 years ago now. I enjoy a drink at the weekends but normally within moderation. Thankfully I am now able to control the drink and my behaviour.

Lots of people don't like taking meds cos of the side effects and some side effects can be pretty nasty so I totally understand your stance on this. I've tried different meds and I do find that I get very few side effects on current med., negligible in fact. Certainly I find in my case the pros vastly outweigh the cons. But it is a personal choice at the end of the day - and so it should be.