Boyfriend`s SZ symptoms in remission?!

Great insights Costello, well my mom is so stubborn she won't listen to anyone until she decides she wants too. Sometimes we have debates for days or weeks on certain things. My school has free counseling but I'm off- campus AND out of state, for the past two years ive been at home. The first year I was back home I attended my old community college and worked at the school newspaper. This past school year I was reenrolled with my 4 year college as an online student. And this year I really want to go back to my school campus but I really don't know if I'll be physically able. Plus, I don't want to stay in the dorm at my school again so im looking for private housing which is tough in NYC (which is where my college is). I've found one place and it's through another college's nice new dorms. But I'd have to have roommates in order to be affordable. And since I'm 30 years old I would hate living with anyone younger than 25. It would be a nightmare! I've had 2 idiotic roomates one of which I believe was mentally I'll in some way. Sorry this is way off topic but yet on topic in a way because it's making my worries and fears multiply. And I can't afford to have that happen now. But getting back your suggestions Costello, the support group would have been something I would have hated not too long ago but at this point and time I may like to go when I can find energy and a go if they even have one. I wouldn't go talk to the local mental health care facility I'm not about to be that ill. But I'm just totally stressed and need tools for coping. And your idea about self therapy and having friends help is good. An old professor of mine from community college has offered to help because she is really good at advocating and helping people. And I want to see her because she has come through different things and is a healthy, caring, well adjusted person. And she has helped me grow as a person in her classes and helped me a lot personally and gave me tools to improve myself professionally. So I know she'd be a great help now. I want to see her too before I decide on a counselor but I just feel tired a lot and stressed out. But think I will make it a point to see her in early august. I've also been reading some self-help articles online which are helpful too. But also if I go back to my school's campus in NYC, if they have the same counselor I won't want to talk to her because I went to one of her workshops on healthy relationships (go figure. Lol) And she seemed very shy, uncomfortable and not confident. I don't want to go to her. So that option is out. I might try a support group. But anyway all your suggestions are great. I guess I may just have to debate this issue with my mom and see what happens.

Hi Sakura: I just wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten you. I think about you every day, and I'm trying to formulate some kind of reply to your last posts.

Take care.

Thanks Costello I appreciate that, it's very kind of you to offer your support. I feel like this is the only place I can just be myself and talk about my feels. Everytime I've told my boyfriend what upsetting me I end up breaking down crying then he shuts downs and won't talk to me for days to a few weeks. Then he gets paranoid that I don't want to talk to him when he was the one who shut me out. I hate that and lately I've stopped telling him what bothers me because i don't like when he stops talking to me for no reason and I have so much anger, hurt and sadness because if that. I feel like there are so many layers to this relationship and that just is so hard for me. Plus, my bf always acts like the victim and takes responsibility for little. I hate that I don't know what to do. He's a nice, sweet guy but you can't say a darn thing to him when he's wrong and must be corrected or he'll shut down and shut me out. Plus, I've been going through a lot with my own health and he's never there for me anymore he use to be but not anymore. :-( I just feel so abandoned and hopeless. I gave everything go him and our relationship but I feel so unimportant to him now. All morning I was crying my eyes out because I'm so bummed out and confused why he's been acting like that, over course its nothing new, he's been acting like this over a year. But my depression and sadness has reached boiling point. Is there anything that can get through to him? Before I say anything to him about anything important need to get myself to a peaceful state of mind where I can say everything calmly without crying. Anyway thanks for listening. I apologize for being so negative.

UPDATE: I`ve been reflecting, praying and thinking about my situation with my bf. I`ve posted in another forum to help me get more perspective of why I feel so depressed. Some of the responses lead me to think more about my emotions and I began to think though my feelings. As I sort out my emotions and as I`m calm now I realize that a large part of my depression is tied to how I have been reacting to my bf and his various things he`s doing. I came to realize that even though he is busy and has a lot to do I always ultimately wanted him to be like this: productive, working, educated, well rounded and social. To have some other things to do besides hang out with me constantly. Which I`ve told him for years but he never did it, he said he always wanted to be around me. But when it actually happened and he became more independent I didn`t actually recognize it for what it was, that I was getting what I ultimately wanted. Just not in the way I thought it should be or wanted it to happen. And for over a year of this happening I`ve been freaking out thinking "oh something unusual is happening!" And I blamed my bf instead of looking within at myself. And I came to that conclusion this morning like a ton of bricks hit me. Its not my bf`s fault how I feel. So now I just feel like I solved the biggest problem or what I perceived to be the problem. So now I know he`s not being distant and uninvoled he`s just doing what I asked but I had been too blind to see it which makes me feel like an idiot! I`m just glad I didn`t bring this whole mess of my emotions up to him this past week and ruin the peace that he and I do have now. At least I know things stay peaceful if I don`t cry and show negative emotions blaming him. I know he has a hard time accepting responsibility even when he really is in the wrong. So when he`s not wrong he has an even tougher time. Now the challenge is finding a better balance and feeling more included in his life. My concern now is that he`s trying to do good at his job but all his energy goes to that instead of him being able to split his energy and focus on our relationship when work is done for the day. he is at least very aware of how his energy is spent but I think at this point he`s unable to divide his energy properly. Maybe I can figure out how to help him on that so he feels supported and not attacked.

If you see that he is trying to do what you want, yet you still feel like he is doing something wrong it seems like you're still not 'happy'. How is he ever going to do 'right' when you say 'so when he's not wrong he has a tougher time [accepting responsibility?]. I think at this stage you have to really look at yourself and your happiness and also figure out ways to give allowances to your boyfriend and yourself if you plan to stay together. Making it a blame game is not healthy.

good point I meant to say that when my bf is not wrong he has a tougher time because he gets stressed out easy and he can`t understand why I think he is wrong, well its usually because we have a lot of differences in opinion. Not that having differences of opinion is a bad thing but its a major source of conflict. I don`t like acquiecing and yielding to people especially men. But that is a whole other issue for a different time. I am trying to work on my own issues so that I don`t get as upset anymore over little things. Its very hard but I have to.