College Soon

In the UK you have to be assessed all the time to see if you're suitable for certain services. It's very frustrating, but then, I suppose the NHS is footing the whole bill, which might explain why they're so officious about it.

Hope it goes well, Kureha.

Thanks - but I'm not going.

Not sure what to do about college - I don't think I can keep up, because I can't concentrate.

Try to have a good weekend. Rest and gather your energy again.

Thanks - I just need a break from all this.

Very wise. Recharge your batteries.

I'm trying to, just wish they'd let me

How are they preventing it?

Well I managed to watch a movie - I watched Donnie Darko.

I just can't switch off from thinking of them though, they had me feeling so ill yesterday with the testing and then it just wore off when they stopped.

I watched that with my son. Seems like it wouldn't help change your mindset from gloom and strangeness.

So it isn't really anything they're doing right now, so much as the fact you're having trouble shifting gears away from thinking about them? Do I have that right?

If that's it, then this is a great chance to practice shifting gears. Put your mind on something else. Focus on your school work or watch a funny movie. It may be hard, and it may not work very well at first, but if you can succeed even for a few seconds at a time, you'll be that much stronger.

Life can be very stressful - as you well know. When you get a chance to take a break from the worst of it and have a little peace, you have to be able to let your mind relax and let it go. Otherwise you'll never get a real rest, and you won't be prepared to go back into the fray and deal with it again.

You can train your mind to relax the same way you train your mind or body in anything. Make a little effort, have a little success, rest, repeat. You get stronger every time you try. The CBT therapy may actually be useful here.

Donnie Darko is an interesting film, but it's unlikely to move you mind in a radically different direction from its current preoccupations.

Yeah maybe that movie didn't help - my psychologist used to tell me not to watch so many horror movies either, she said they won't help.

Well I'm safer at home, they just watch me, which freaks me out a bit - but they can't hurt me, well at least they haven't so far. It's just a big part of my life, so it's hard to try and forget for a while.
Doing my homework helped a bit- but I just go straight back to it, I don't think it will ever end.

I can't do the CBT - I'm not taking the risk, they keep saying I could benefit from it, it just seems like they want to trick me into going.
I think my meds were making me anxious as well - so I stopped to see how it goes, because there was something definitely wrong.

Don't discount the respite you had while doing your homework. You got a break and you learned something about refocusing on something else to distract you.

Thanks

I spoke to my ex psychologist she thinks I should see the other psychologist, so I have an appointment for next week, I told her how things are overwhelming, well she knew from the email so I didn't have to tell her.

She thinks it will help me to talk about things and that I need to start trusting other people and that maybe what I'm thinking isn't real.

I agree with your ex-psychologist.

Well she said I didn't really have any evidence they were trying to section me and she said he was nice, so I'll go for the assessment at least anyway. Still rather see my ex psychologist though.

I wouldn't have been going if I hadn't spoke to her