The hardest part of being medicated isn't the appetite increase. It's not even the weight gain. The dry mouth. The sleepiness. The consistant GI issues or the hot flashes that leave me drenched in sweat.

It's loosing ALL my creativity I once had.


Things from the typical artsy stuff, to loosing my creativity when I talk, the way I move. The thinking of bouncing from one subject to the next in 15 different ways and putting it all back together to form some of the most eccentric stuff. People always tell me. "Lydia you are so talented". In artwork, writing, the way I speak. Coming up with subject lines and making things poetic. But I have none of that anymore. I can't win arguments. I can't make things click together like I used to. I can't walk outside and pick some wildflowers and in the process of picking bugs off and rotted leaves, make it look like a masterpiece. And the hardest thing of all is knowing that when I loose that creativity. I am better. I can never have both. They will never coexist.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

The hardest part of being medicated isn't the appetite increase. It's not even the weight gain. The dry mouth. The sleepiness. The consistant GI issues or the hot flashes that leave me drenched in sweat.

It's loosing ALL my creativity I once had.


Things from the typical artsy stuff, to loosing my creativity when I talk, the way I move. The thinking of bouncing from one subject to the next in 15 different ways and putting it all back together to form some of the most eccentric stuff. People always tell me. "Lydia you are so talented". In artwork, writing, the way I speak. Coming up with subject lines and making things poetic. But I have none of that anymore. I can't win arguments. I can't make things click together like I used to. I can't walk outside and pick some wildflowers and in the process of picking bugs off and rotted leaves, make it look like a masterpiece. And the hardest thing of all is knowing that when I loose that creativity. I am better. I can never have both. They will never coexist.

Try using your experiences on meds as art.

[volatile]

i used to be fluent in a lot of things also. i lost a whole language.
everything is just different now.

i don't believe you;ve lost it all, it's just changed and you have to find it again. you do have the ability. don't give up on yourself.

[k202]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

...

It's loosing ALL my creativity I once had...

My friend still has it, at least I think so but she cannot produce much at the moment because she is unable to sit for more than 5 minutes. But I know she is very concerned about this, you can almost see her being afraid if not scared of loosing her creativity (and other skills). She did some very serious projects in the past but now she may "invent" something rather silly and try to work on this, believing this is a great thing. Little sad but not much can be done at the moment.

I feel the same way and its become a very touchy subject for me. I don't have any answers.

[DePressMe]

LydiaB, I feel the same way. I've lost my creativity too. I use to be an avid painter but now I just sit and stare at a blank space and nothing happens. I know its from the meds I take. But I can't stop the meds because I'll get very sick. This part of my mental health and meds really suck. Sorry, I hope that word does not offend anybody but thats the nicest way I can put it. I have a whole string of nasty words I could replace it with...

[mgran]

depressme... I know it's not part of this thread, but i just wanted to say i'm really impressed with your wiget. i think it might just inspire me to try again. thanks.

[davidgarrard80]

I'm creative because of my mental illness as well. If i had to choose between creativity and sanity, i'd choose sanity any day.

Originally Posted by davidgarrard80

I'm creative because of my mental illness as well. If i had to choose between creativity and sanity, i'd choose sanity any day.

Me too, to me sanity is much more important. But it's just sad. Very sad for me. I think I just have to learn to "re live" again?

[ickydog2006]

I've been trying to get more creative, I think I will be happier, but I haven't been able to get back to that either. I'm really glad you posted this though, cause even if I"m crying, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

[newtus]

Is it bad that i'd rather choose my creativity over my sanity? Thoughts? :/ I'm creative on meds, too, but there's a slight difference off my meds, which is a huge difference in a totally other way.

[Dazzle]

Originally Posted by newtus

Is it bad that i'd rather choose my creativity over my sanity? Thoughts? :/ I'm creative on meds, too, but there's a slight difference off my meds, which is a huge difference in a totally other way.

My music sucked for 2 years straight. I decided to get off of the antipsychotics. On the other hand at times i am depressed, angry, or manic. Doc put me on wellbutrin. I dont think it is working. At least no psychosis. I am gonna wait it out. But i may have to take meds again too. Creativity is just so important to me . . .

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Dazzle

My music sucked for 2 years straight. I decided to get off of the antipsychotics. On the other hand at times i am depressed, angry, or manic. Doc put me on wellbutrin. I dont think it is working. At least no psychosis. I am gonna wait it out. But i may have to take meds again too. Creativity is just so important to me . . .

Thank you. Though I am not necessarily saying thanks for someone to agree with me but to see my side there. I realize medication is important to many people.

[Zcoder]

I've never been on medication for mental illness. Are all the side effects worth it? I mean those side effects seem like another illness. I don't think I want to be on prescription meds.

[ickydog2006]

Zcoder: sometimes the side effects are worth it, sometimes they're not. I would never be able to handle living outside of my closet without meds, so for me the side effects are worth it, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it.