[Tsunamisurfer]

My head is reeling, ants are crawling all over me. Things are, then they vanish without a trace.
My middle daughter was rude to her mother this morning, and I got angry with her & read her the riot act. She dissolved in tears and was close to an asthma attack she was so upset. My wife left for 3 days business across the country. I am left playing mom and dad for 3 days. I have my toughest job of the year coming up in 2 days time. The bank froze my business account - some government red tape that needed fixing before I could pay more government red tape taxes. My wife's cell phone got cut off - her business partner forgot to pay the bill.
I hit such a low today - I was begging God to just kill me and let me turn to dust and blow away in the wind. I am so overwhelmed.

I thought of going to the ER to keep from killing myself - then thought I'd stand a better chance of survival fighting it on my own, than being further demolished by hospital red tape. (red tape is my nemesis - it is a multi-stranded rope designed to hang people like me).

I will visit my sister this afternoon for help with the kids - she needn't know what I am going through right now - just getting someone else's perspective might help keep me from pressing the self destruct button.

[costello]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. It's times like this I like to remind myself of impermanence. Nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever. Just relax and wait and something will change. The situation will move on. Your mood will shift. Your energy level will rise. Something will change.

I agree with Costello. She gives very helpful advice and perspective to me. I believe you can trust her.

brook

[likewater]

(((((Tsunamisurfer)))))) definitely get a respite from kids. Definitely stay safe. Ers dont have a lot of red tape. I hate red tape too. At leaat my er doesnt, but sometimes i wait a long time. I like costello' s advice. It sounds like this is a temporary problem. Your wife eing away is temporary. Her cell phone off is temporary your account frozen also temporary. It will be ok.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Made it through the day. Phone reconnected, bank account enabled again, bills paid. Phew.
You were right. The delirium has mostly passed. I can live with things shifting shape around me. The kids are in bed, and I'm ready for tomorrow.

Thanks for the encouragement. It has meant a lot and given me strength.

[costello]

Glad things are better.

[Trippin2.0]

Oh (((Pete))) so sorry you had a rough day

Glad the redtape has been removed, and I hope you're sound asleep, it's 11pm and you need your rest.

Btw, haven't been able to chat coz my fb chat won't connect hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you my dear friend! XOXO

Good thing that everything is settled now.

[lil-angel-wings]

Im glad to hear you made it through the day
I hope you get good rest and tomarrow is much less stressfull
You are in my prayers

[Tsunamisurfer]

I'm still fighting suicidal urges, and my sense of what is real is a bit shaky. But the feeling of not having the power to control my urges has passed. Thank you all for helping me jump the hurdle.
Pete

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Oh (((Pete))) so sorry you had a rough day

Glad the redtape has been removed, and I hope you're sound asleep, it's 11pm and you need your rest.

Btw, haven't been able to chat coz my fb chat won't connect hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you my dear friend! XOXO

Thanks Trippin
The red tape is still very much there, but at least it isn't tied around my neck anymore
A few things went bump in the night, but nothing climbed through the windows. I got some sleep.
The girls and I got up and had a good start to the day without biting each other's heads off.
Youngest left her school lunch behind and she has 2 days away from home. (Tears). A lesson in adaptation! She has made a plan

[likewater]

((((Tsunamisurfer))) i'm 39 and i still leave my lunch behind sometimes. It' s akways nice when people with their heads still attached.
:-) may we all have our lunches and heads attached tomorrow and may a red tape eating virus be unleashed upon the world and may the government be unable to stop all the red tape from dissolving. That's right dissolving. Ok, i better go to sleep now and dream avout a world free of red tape. :-)

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

Thanks Trippin
The red tape is still very much there, but at least it isn't tied around my neck anymore
A few things went bump in the night, but nothing climbed through the windows. I got some sleep.
The girls and I got up and had a good start to the day without biting each other's heads off.
Youngest left her school lunch behind and she has 2 days away from home. (Tears). A lesson in adaptation! She has made a plan

She's quite resourceful, kudos to her Glad that nothing came in thru the window!

I pray that things are much clearer today

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by likewater

((((Tsunamisurfer))) i'm 39 and i still leave my lunch behind sometimes. It' s akways nice when people with their heads still attached.
:-) may we all have our lunches and heads attached tomorrow and may a red tape eating virus be unleashed upon the world and may the government be unable to stop all the red tape from dissolving. That's right dissolving. Ok, i better go to sleep now and dream avout a world free of red tape. :-)

ROTFL. You really injected hilarity into my morning. Thanks for that