Things are really hard for me right now...

Hahahah that's hilarious. And thanks fish... I think my Mum is just trying to make more sense of it. Even though she's Bipolar with psychotic features, she has a harder time with my issues than she has with hers I guess. If I was nuts the whole time, then it's not as devestating?

I've been waking up every morning exceedingly irritated... Lke everything everyone says or does pisses me off for some reason. But I got over it rather quickly this morning, only to now be a full blown paranoid wreck.
I posted a really sweet, thoughtful picture & quote to my boyfriend a few months ago on fb. We have our profiles set to "friends only" on everything because we're private people... And just today, I saw a friend reposted a picture/quote from some random person to her own husband. It's the EXACT SAME ****ing picture & quote that I sent him. It's freaking me out so badly...

I might leave for a few days. This is just getting to be too much. I don't think anything we do online is safe anymore. All I need to do is leave until these thoughts start to go away. I'll check in once I think I'm doing better... But for now, I'm just going to disconnect my internet & watch movies that make me feel better. Harry Potter.

I always had some degree of tics, even if they often been minimal. It is something I feel I should be able to control and stop, because I'm doing it, but still I can't stop it.

This stayed on a reasonable level until I got strep throat. Then those symptoms really had a party. Not only did i feel I had to stretch and twist body parts, but I had an almost constant urge to tic. Also my mind filled with violent thoughts, much worse than the What if I? thing. I had to actually physically remove myself from places not to hurt "things".

Also I had a lot of myoclonic jerks, that are really different, they are involuntary and like the thing you can get when you're sleepy. So I sort of know something happened to my brain that made me both had worse tics and now the myoclonus.

Seemed like after a year or so, this faded away. I still have a little more tics than usual, but else things settled.

Also, during this period after I had strep, my mind could suddenly do odd things, like I was falling into some kind of state that felt wrong and odd. Then I couldn't catch my thoughts at all, but at the same time I felt the urge not to forget what I thought the second before, even if I knew it was probably not important. When that happened, I couldn't even describe things to myself in words. It was like words couldn't hold any information and a thought sentence would just be an endless mess of words trying to catch something.

I seem to have healed now, and I'm back to my normal, crazy me.

Sorry I haven't gotten to your comment, jimrat. I've been residually weird. But your experience speaks out to me quite a lot!! I have chronic, reoccurring tonsilitis. For a long time, I got strep once or twice a year without fail. And indeed, about 6 months after my last VERY SERIOUS bout of strep throat, was when the tics started showing up. Hmm... But 6 months seems like too long a period of time for a cause & effect series of symptoms. Interesting though! I appreciate your input. : )

AND I saw from your profile that you have lupus... I probably do too! Lol. My Mum has it & I've had joint pain since I was a little kid. Small world! Hahaha

I think our adolescent phobias and fears can manifest in our adult life.
Of course when I was young, I had very few fears. I still had phobias
like being afraid of small dark places, And monsters under the bed.

Haven't seen very many monsters under the bed lately......... Phew
I stay away from dark cramped spaces.

my fears were mostly people related