[newtus]

Please

please

please

[kaliope]

newtus, i dont know if you really want to hear this but you are beggin for help. it sounds as if you really need to get yourself to the hospital. go to the emergency room, they cannot refuse you treatment. you need help desperately it sounds like. they will get you the help you need.

good luck to you.

[newtus]

thanks
yea i tried
this whole thing played out and now im still home

[newtus]

lol what the f?
sex hotline?

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

lol what the f?
sex hotline?

lol... Maybe Shay got that alcohol you wanted?

O____________O

I have no idea. Forgive that please.
*skulks off into my corner*

Feel better, newtus.

[newtus]

lol i was going for it!

lol@those midnight dating commercials.

[roads]

Here's the PC list of hotline numbers: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/com...phone-numbers/

newtus, I thought you were planning to go inpatient? What's going in?

[newtus]

yea..
i had tried to get a bed at a local hospital but they were full so they said another was open but my only transporter is dead asleep. its 1am here.

[roads]

insurance ... cover ambulance?

[newtus]

yea ...i think mom is kicking me off her insurance.
...im under so much stress

for 1. that opens so many new stressors into my life when i have no insurance.

im waiting for that one stressor that will make me lose my marbles completely. im serious. after my dad almost dead a SECOND time in 2 years last fall i lost it about halfway. its like some of the nerves in my brain have fried.

[roads]

but right now, newtus. you are on insurance ...
take ambulance?

[KUREHA]

What's happening newtus?

[costello]

Sorry I fell asleep on you without even saying 'good night,' newtus. I just zonked out. I hope the fact you're not online right now means you either went to the hospital or fell asleep.

[newtus]

i slept 3 hours

everything from a few hours ago seems like a big blur

[newtus]

@Roadie
i dont think my insurance is ok anymore
so no

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

i slept 3 hours

everything from a few hours ago seems like a big blur

Not sleeping for a couple of days will do that to you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_deprivation

[newtus]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

What's happening newtus?

almost had to goto the hospital.
im so scared they are going to come and take me involuntary. ever since the college incident they did. so lately if i felt like taking myself i would. one of my biggest fears is involuntary. f**k.

i wonder if they will be come looking for me now.

i hear the planes this morning but idk which they are.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

Not sleeping for a couple of days will do that to you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_deprivation

yea.
i know.
its not new. its just still here. you know.

oh well.

i punched in my walls.
put my foot through a door in my house.
broke numerous other stuff..
my dad tried to hit me..

i feel like i have a bruise from idk what

let me go see what damage has been done to everything...

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

almost had to goto the hospital.

Well, I'm not sure I'd describe it that way. You almost went to the hospital, because you thought you might need help.

The key to avoiding the hospital, IMO, is to take excellent care of yourself. You need to get regular sleep in sufficient quantities. I know you say you can't sleep, but I'm not convinced of that yet. You don't take good care of yourself. If you start taking better care of yourself, you may find sleep comes more easily.

i wonder if they will be come looking for me now.

I can't imagine why they would. If they didn't come last night - or even call to find out if you needed help - why would they come now?

i hear the planes this morning but idk which they are.

Newtus, planes go over people's houses. It's not directed at you.

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

i punched in my walls.
put my foot through a door in my house.
broke numerous other stuff..
my dad tried to hit me..

Last night?

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

..Well, I'm not sure I'd describe it that way. You almost went to the hospital, because you thought you might need help...


....I can't imagine why they would. If they didn't come last night - or even call to find out if you needed help - why would they come now?


Newtus, planes go over people's houses. It's not directed at you...

yea i meant i almost had to take myself.

and
but youd be surprised.

someone like me.
they are always looking

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

Last night?

yea. i didnt say everything. theres still so much more that went on. it got very intense. i was going moment by moment but i overall oh man...it got very very bad.

a lot details. idk if i wanna say. just having to do with my mom and dad.
my sister got involved eventually too.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

Well, I'm not sure I'd describe it that way.

maybe im overthinking this right now

maybe my problems arent that big enough to goto the hospital.

maybe they are just here and this is the way it is. my life.

[newtus]

im gonna tell the mhmr to shred that document about substance abuse and them contacting my dad.

i just found a huge 5 in long bruise on my thigh. idk where from. f**k it.

this is like life now. you know? this will be good for preparing for homelessness. sarcastically but kind of not.