[Lexicon78]

I've had a nice little vacation from my paranoia--a few years now--but it's returned full force.

I quit going to my appointments, don't go outside the apartment for too much unless I completely have to, and feel unsafe everywhere but inside my apartment. Even opening windows and doors to let air or sunshine in feels unsafe. I am back to feeling like everyone's gonna hurt me again.

I had to walk down to the post office (a 5 minute walk away) to mail a letter for my dad today and felt extremely paranoid and unsafe. There were a bunch of kids playing on the road (all 12 and under) and I kept having the same image running through my head--me on the ground curled up in a ball and them all hovering above me...taunting me, kicking me, and calling me names. These thoughts are more a child's thoughts than an adult woman's thoughts who is almost 30 years old!

I feel like I'm being raped of my own rights in my life from many people. I'm in a panic much of the time at the sheer thought of going outside. No one is really being supportive of me, either. They tell me to get over it. I feel like giving up anymore...I just can't do this all over again.

please dont give up - though i know its hard you are still worth the battle!

Im totally going through the same thing right now - and i get EXACTLY the same thoughts when walking by people, that or im afraid they will follow me.

So i do relate.

(((hugs))))

[January]

(((((((((((((( Lexi ))))))))))))))))))

Don't give up. You are very special. Can you call your pdoc or t?

Hugs,

Jan

[cherybery]

Lexi, you have got through it before and you have it in you too do it again hon. I think how you feel is a sign too call your doc. Please hang in there.
HUGS
Cher

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((Lexi))))))))))))))))))

[Lexicon78]

I know I've been through the paranoia before, but not without having a ton of intense therapy and support...and I have neither one at this point...so I'm feeling kinda hopeless about it all.

[PetulantWolf]

Im so sorry. Thats stinks. I was getting sort of like that and Paxil helped a real lot. Are so on any meds? I wish there was something I could do...

[Lexicon78]

My T suggested Paxil for me, it's the one drug they haven't tried me on. I've been on just about every other med on the market, though!

[PetulantWolf]

Maybe its worth a shot for you. Helped me a real lot. Bad for the sex life though. However,my T says that it about 1/ of the people whoi take it the sexual side effects go away after a few months...

[niko851]

<font color="#00088">Lexi -

I get paranoid JUST by waking up in the AM, hearing the phone ring, hearing the mailman leave the mail, and basically ANY type of stimuli whatsoever.....

I've been homebound for months and I've literally quit counting........ Just to get a pack of cigarettes is an all-day task... Driving my car has become a chore as well.... I don't trust myself bcuz I have to stop 99% of the time bcuz I just KNOW soemone is waiting to hit me...

Right now, I ended up destroying my laptop two nights ago and dind't even know it... The only thing I remember was that someoen was trying to talk to me through it and I couldn't get them to stop... At about 2:30 AM, I was thrown back into my bed and told what I did to my laptop... I denied and denied and denied it... Then again, no one was in the room but me; so the proof is right there..........

You're not alone - we're not alone - and we are at the mercy of these disorders/diseases.... GOD do I just hate to wake up anymore... Why can't it all just end??? That would be a blessing, not to mention a RELIEF!!!!!

~Niko </font>

[Lexicon78]

(((((niko)))))

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I'm hoping that it will get better for you in time.