Got ahold of my medical records

I tried to volunteer myself to get brain scans as part of a study of schizophrenia/psychosis once (even though I have been previously drugged), but all the docs did was freak out and try to have me re-drugged. :eyeroll: They don't even seem to be interested in scanning the **** out of a brain that has psychotic experiences but isn't drugged to the hilt.

thats true. but you cant solely prove someone has sz that way because there are so many with sz that dont have brain abnormalities.

they say theres less gray matter i believe and more fluid in the ventricles. and that the ventricles grow bigger and people lose more brain. you know. but STILL they havent figured out if that is BEFORE or AFTER taking those medications for many who have that anyway.

personally. scanning around on that for about a year or less im convinced that after taking the meds it DOES become a "disease" per se. but i really hate calling sz a disease. flat out hate that. i believe the meds eat at your brain personally. its hard for them to do before and afters of people on meds anyway because they cant really predict who will get sz to do the before shots. the human mind is complex. so i believe it to be not wholly fact and psychiatry is kind of being biased and stating their own claims that its a disease because ESTABLISHED schizophrenics have this abnormality.

I'm pretty sure it's their drugs that eat your brain. My aunt (not sz) was psych-medicated for a good number of years. 2 years ago a scan depicted brain atrophy and her prescribing doctors accused her of illicit drug use! she flushes her meds now...

wow thats f-d up and ridiculous. sorry to hear. yea i believe that meds atrophies the brain. thats what i believe.

It's sad, really. They beat down the self-esteem of people struggling, saying they'll never get better on their own, telling them they're hopeless & worthless without assistance. Then they give them medications that (at least appear to) eat away at the very thing they are trying to nourish & protect? It's really pathetic that people can sleep at night, defending their so-called cures. : /

((((Fish)))) lol! I am so sorry you have to go through all this bs. I have to say, though, even in your pain, your soh is definitely in tact you gals were cracking me up. Truly.
Hugs, Rose

I read more of my medical records today.

One of them said I was dismissive of my old university in a "grandiose" way. This is the same university that tried to have me thrown out solely because my diagnosis made me a "potentially violent threat" in their eyes . . . and yes, I have that statement in writing . . . yet they list several *actual* war criminals amongst their alumni. I don't think my hatred of them is grandiose at all. Fuming mad.

Also that one psychiatrist was ****ing obsessed with what I wore!! Jesus!! Maybe he was just obsessed with ****ing me? Who knows. I think he might have more accurate records of the clothing I like to wear than even I do. I found four entries where he remarks on how much I love stripey shirts and how my skirts are always apparently "too short". You know, I never even realised that YES I DO tend to buy a lot of stripey shirts until I read that just now!

OMG!!! You wear a lot of stripey shirts??? Clearly you have SSS!!!! (Stripey Shirt Syndrome) Pfizer makes a drug for that - just take it five times a day for the rest of your life, and be stripe free! Woo!

Don't tell me I have to start a Stripey Shirt Pride Anti-SSS movement :'( I haven't the energy for that as well. My marinières are who I am, yo, not a disorder.