[littlelady17]

well, i'm 17, and i just got the news, i have a 50% percent chance of being schizophrenic free, and 50% chance of having it for life. because right now, the meds have yet to make it go completely away. so just thought i'd share. we are a community,right?

[newtus]

yep. i have schizophrenia. im 21

We certainly are a lovely, eccentric community! I'm 20 & while IDK what I am for sure, I seem to 'belong' here just the same.
Your username makes me smile because my bf affectionately refers to me as his little lady! Hehe

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by littlelady17

i just got the news, i have a 50% percent chance of being schizophrenic free, and 50% chance of having it for life.

Where/who did this news come from?

[littlelady17]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Where/who did this news come from?

my psychiatrist
and yeah, have you guys seen the schizophrenia ABC 20-20 video on youtube?
it's crazy, those goggles get it spot on!

[newtus]

i have.
it is crazy.

i had a friend once him and i used to make fun of barbara walters way of saying schizophrenia. shed say skeeeeeezofreeeeeenya. like it Was a foriegn word.

[costello]

I just showed the 20/20 program to my son. He says it's nothing like what he's experienced.

I'd say it's a fair bet that we all experience something very different from one another. :]
At least to some degree. Just because we're ****ed up doesn't mean we're not still individuals, aye?

[costello]

I agree, Shayatanica. What we need is a whole bunch of these videos, so you can look at them and say which is most like what you see and hear.

WOO! We'll have ourselves a straight-up schizofest up in this forum!

Lol but really, that sounds like it could be an interesting project. If only people would be more straightforward about their experiences, like what Newtus used to do with her videos, we could create a massive awareness. Not just about the symptoms themselves, but of the varying levels of awareness & varying lifestyles of the people who have it.
*shrugs* At least seems like a good idea to me... But most mental illnesses could benefit from something like this.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

I just showed the 20/20 program to my son. He says it's nothing like what he's experienced.

20/20 is full of ****
So is janssen
You heard of the janssen one?

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

20/20 is full of ****
So is janssen
You heard of the janssen one?

It was the Janssen one that I saw on 20/20. Was there a different one on that program?

Actually my son doesn't hallucinate much. So unless they can come up with a program that simulates OCD or paranoia, I'll never know what he's going through.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by newtus

i have.
it is crazy.

i had a friend once him and i used to make fun of barbara walters way of saying schizophrenia. shed say skeeeeeezofreeeeeenya. like it Was a foriegn word.

It is a foreign word! It's Greek!! :P (Well, kind of . . . )
I watched that 20/20 documentary. I thought it was silly (nothing at all like what I have, and also what is their obsession with crazy people making newsletters?!), and also I thought that Barbara Walters says "schizophrenia" like all Americans say it?

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

WOO! We'll have ourselves a straight-up schizofest up in this forum!

Lol but really, that sounds like it could be an interesting project. If only people would be more straightforward about their experiences, like what Newtus used to do with her videos, we could create a massive awareness. Not just about the symptoms themselves, but of the varying levels of awareness & varying lifestyles of the people who have it.
*shrugs* At least seems like a good idea to me... But most mental illnesses could benefit from something like this.

I used to go around giving talks about my experiences and how I cope. I don't think anybody who wasn't themselves bonkers in the nut could even get close to understanding what hallucinating is like (unless perhaps they'd done a ton of drugs in the past).
Also, EVERY SINGLE TIME somebody would ask me why I didn't "do more" for my health, like I was living a wild and dangerous life if I wasn't on a yoga ashram eating a raw food diet and communing with nature/others/God all the time. It was bizarre.

[fishsandwich]

Bizarre is my favourite word.

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I don't think anybody who wasn't themselves bonkers in the nut could even get close to understanding what hallucinating is like (unless perhaps they'd done a ton of drugs in the past).

I still want to know - without doing drugs. It often comes into my mind when I have an experience that might give me a little taste of it. I think everyone has an experience where they think they see something out of the corner of their eye, for example, but when they look, there's nothing there. I'll try to draw that and think about what it would be like if I did see something skittering across the floor that wasn't there.

A couple of days ago I was driving, and something touched my neck. I think the shoulder strap had flipped over and touched me, but my first thought was that a large bug had landed on me. It kind of freaked me out. My first thought was to try and ponder what it would be like to experience that as a hallucination. Would I even be able to continue to drive if it felt like a large bug was walking on me? [I realize tactile hallucinations are rare, but I work with what I've got.]

As I said, my son's issues are different, and that's even harder to try to imagine. Paranoia. The idea that others are putting thoughts in his head. The idea that others are hearing his thoughts.

Once newtus put a drawing up of her depiction of thoughts rushing into her head. I think about that picture often and try to imagine what it feels like. I simply can't understand it. I can't imagine it. I can imagine seeing or hearing something that's not there, but the thought things elude me.

[fishsandwich]

I think everyone has those little experiences, Costello. I used to talk a lot about the thing -- I think most people get this from time to time -- where you hear your name called, but there's nobody around and/or nobody was calling you. Hallucinations are like that, but orders of magnitude more intense. IDK. Every time I think I've found a non-psychotic person who understands, they eventually prove that they don't through their speech and action.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by costello

As I said, my son's issues are different, and that's even harder to try to imagine. Paranoia. The idea that others are putting thoughts in his head. The idea that others are hearing his thoughts.

I don't see myself as schizophrenic, though there have been some similarities. But the thing about someone putting thoughts in your head, or can tell what you are thinking -- I can see that. It's easy: just an extension of childhood, where your mother seemed to know everything you thought, and even wanted to control what you thought. In fact my mother did want to control what I thought. I do think that people can, in principal and in practice to a large extent, have a pretty good idea what (some) other people are thinking. Sometimes, though, we can be very mistaken about it.

[costello]

The memory that always comes to my mind is when I first started being interested in sex when I was about 11 or 12. If I were thinking about it in public, I'd think the people around me knew what I was thinking. So, I'd try to suppress the thoughts. Maybe that's what underlies the problem - having thoughts we feel ashamed of.

Aside from the fact that I now know people can't read other people's mind, I no longer feel ashamed of any of my thoughts. They're not all nice, but they're just thoughts. When you understand that they can't control you and they don't mean you're a bad person, you can just let them go. If they scare you for some reason, they tend to hang around longer because you're engaging with them.

I do think that people can, in principal and in practice to a large extent, have a pretty good idea what (some) other people are thinking.

Sometimes it seems like someone is "reading your mind," because you have a thought or memory come into your head, then they suddenly mention the same thing. It always comes back, in my experience, to the fact that something in the external environment cued the same thought in both of you. It can feel kind of freaky when it happens, though.

Sometimes people just "know" what we're thinking, because we're thinking the same thing they'd be thinking in our shoes. Our brains are just set up to let us understand the other guy's emotions, to empathize.

[costello]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I think most people get this from time to time -- where you hear your name called, but there's nobody around and/or nobody was calling you.

I think everyone's had that happen to them. Or at least many, many people. I have. But I can say that I've never heard someone say my name in such a clear way that I was surprised that no one was there. It's always been that I thought maybe I heard my name faintly or indistinctly.

Every time I think I've found a non-psychotic person who understands, they eventually prove that they don't through their speech and action.

I'm not surprised. It's easy to say you understand. It's much harder to actually understand.

I guess what I always come back to is something I've asked about before. How can you not know it's not real? Especially delusions. I tell myself that if I were experiencing hallucinations or delusions, I'd know. But obviously people don't know. Even very smart people who've experienced delusions before can be gripped by one and be convinced it's real.

[newtus]

yea you got that right on costello

but i myself have heard my name many times to where i was surprised no one was there. it was clear.

[costello]

Originally Posted by newtus

yea you got that right on costello

but i myself have heard my name many times to where i was surprised no one was there. it was clear.

I've wondered if you could do something that would bring on hallucinations. I mean besides drugs or starvation or lack of sleep. Just meditation or focused thought or something. I mentioned this to my son once, and he told me not to try it. I guess he thought if I succeeded, I might lose control.

At one point, during my son's last episode when he was hallucinating a lot, I found some things on youtube, but they were really stupid - those images you stare at then when you look away you see images on the wall.

At one point I dreamed I was hallucinating. I was so excited, then I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by costello

I've wondered if you could do something that would bring on hallucinations. I mean besides drugs or starvation or lack of sleep. Just meditation or focused thought or something. I mentioned this to my son once, and he told me not to try it. I guess he thought if I succeeded, I might lose control.

At one point, during my son's last episode when he was hallucinating a lot, I found some things on youtube, but they were really stupid - those images you stare at then when you look away you see images on the wall.

At one point I dreamed I was hallucinating. I was so excited, then I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

i know exactly what you are talking about on youtube.

But your son is right. Certain folks like their hallucinations and is very easy to get carried away.

Hallucinations for some can be scary
Hallucinations for some can be intriguing and exciting and a new world.etc
Hallucinations for some - can be both

For me personally its both
Thats why sometimes i miss em

There's an easy way to hallucinate... Meditation & sensory deprivation, like what they used on Paranormal State to induce psychic states? Turn off all the lights except for a red light, use a thin white blindfold, hole yourself into a cramped space, put on headphones playing white or pink noise at a moderately-quiet volume... It's weird though. Before I realized I had hallucinations? I tried this experiment with my friend to induce a spiritual psychotic state. She hallucinated & I didn't!! She got visual, tactile, auditory... The whole shebang!!

Mine are both, too, Newtus. It's a life experience, just like any other. Even if it brings you to stand at the edge of the cliff between sanity & insanity.