[newtus]

i have an immediate family member that she lives away from home far away. i see her maybe 2 times a year. been this way since i was 9. im 22 now. but we text every few days.

i dont talk to them about what i go through but they know my dx. when ive done stuff in my past that was psychotic they thought i was faking to get attention.

she thinks were extremely close. i mean we talk and have fun when she visits. but i dont feel close to her as i think she feels.

in fact she puts me in situations that i cant handle. total opposite of me.

idk um what do i do? i dont even feel close enough to talk about what i go through. thing is this problem spans half my lifetime and most of hers.

[KUREHA]

Sorry, maybe you should talk to her about feeling uncomfortable in those situations - you don't have to tell her everything.

[newtus]

to me the situation is worsened because she is a therapist..

i dont trust mental health pros...

[newtus]

it pisses me off that she thinks she understands me but she doesnt. anything. i hide saying things and then when i do she says i JUST NOW am thnking that. NO IM NOT. I HID IT.

[KUREHA]

Ah right that sucks then.

She thinks she knows all about you because she's a therapist?

Do you still like talking/texting her?

[newtus]

she just has that type of personality that she thinks she can easily figure people out or something.

i dont like texting her as much. but when i dont she calls or starts contacting my mom or dad and stuff about why i dont text or call.

[faerie_moon_x]

If she's a therapist she isn't a very good one.....

If she believes your psychosis is fake to get attention, then I feel bad for her clients.

Maybe next time you text her tell her that you're doing fine and you aren't always in the mood for texting, but that doesn't mean she needs to call your parents. Tell her she may be a therapist but she's not your therapist, and if she wants to be friends then be friends, but not to act like a therpist. Then when she comes and she suggests uncomfortable activities, just tell her, "Look, I really am not up for that. If you want to go that's fine, but I'm not going." There are nice ways to say that, can't think of one right now.

My cousins barely ever talk to me and I thought we were close, so I wish they would just be up front with me and tell me they don't really like me instead of ignore me. That's just how I feel about it.

[newtus]

thanks.

i just think she doesnt understand thats why she thought i faked it or whatever. i just dont know how much i wanna explain it anymore. thats what.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, if she knows your Dx then she should at least be aware of the symptoms of it, even if she doesn't know exactly what's going on with you, (being a therapist and all,) and therefore should not tell you you're a fake. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. That and the people who actually are fakes and make it hard for the rest of us....

You don't have to explain anything to her. She's gone to school for this type of stuff and it's wrong of her to judge. Any health professional that thinks mental health is "fake" should not work with mental health. Just how I see it.

[newtus]

no i understand

i just have this feeling that since im her sister its hard for her to get it around her that she has a close loved one that has schiz. im saying i think its hard for her to accept. which i dont think has anything to do with being a therapist but rather just a family member.

shes obviously not judging. i just dont think she maybe wants to believe i have it. you know? you know how family is so distraught about things that they are in denial too? shes not mean about it.

i tried talking to her about it a few times some years ago but i mean she doesnt even want to talk about it. which made me think shes in denial for me. which sucks but yea idk.

[cybermember]

I had a psychiatrist once where I worked for a cleaning business that cleaned her house on a regular basis. This psychiatrist was neat, orderly, punctual, and precise and all the things that presented herself professionally. Initially, I wasn't aware that my boss was cleaning her house until for whatever reason I mentioned my pdocs name in conversation. My boss then proceeds to tell me that every time they would have to clean my pdocs house it always looked like a bomb went off; perhaps because she (pdoc) has two kids. There was stuff strewn about; nothing put away, food; crumbs in the kitchen, etc. Basically, it was just a mess every time. So when I heard this I was outright dumbfounded. Surely, this is not the same person who I interacted with so I asked my boss if we were actually talking about the same person and sure enough, we were.

So my point to this little story is there are some people that are great at understanding and helping others outside of their family but are absolutely clueless, or possibly in denial, as to how to handle situations within their own families.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, it's too bad, then.

But, most people are in denial. I don't tell my family about it at all, except my husband and my mother-in-law know, and one aunt which I feel dumb that I revealed it to her. I only did because my uncle was an abusive shut in, and after he died it became aparent that my cousin is having some issues along the same lines....

When I said, "I have bipolar," she said, "I don't know what that is." So, I didn't expand. I don't trust people to care, especially family members. Part of me wishes that having bipolar meant that I also have small green spots.... or something like that....

But, I know what you mean, people in denial.

As for the doc who was clean at work and not at home... perhaps she had a boss or something come down on her and if she doesnt' stay organized at work she will be fired. That's how it is for me. I'm not terribly organized due to issues I can't really explain, because I try extremely hard to be organized, but better at work for fear of my job.

[cybermember]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

As for the doc who was clean at work and not at home... perhaps she had a boss or something come down on her and if she doesnt' stay organized at work she will be fired. That's how it is for me. I'm not terribly organized due to issues I can't really explain, because I try extremely hard to be organized, but better at work for fear of my job.

Pdoc had her own private practice so there was no one she needed to answer to but herself. She was pristine at work and a total slob at home. It was like night and day. Maybe she was cognizant that her practice might suffer if she allowed that messy behavior to spill into it.

And my point being is that some people are one way with others with a situation but completely the opposite with the same situation when it concerns family. It's just the way some people are. Do as I say, not as I do.