compassion lacks

i would give anything to get compassion from someone in real life. i dont mean pity or cliche sayings. real compassion. im siick o f people being rude to me and then other people saying "you just dont want to realize reality". so i got the rudeness and the "reality check". when in the hell am i ever going to get compassion?

idk if my dads guns are even loaded.
i just want to walk in there and pop myself in the brain.
so quick.
ive never felt so gutless but the impulse is running good.

woah woah woah man. that's not a good decision. you're life is precious... like the rapper eyedea says

"Now I want you to know
The role you play is part of the whole
Without you it couldn't be."

you're a life that without... regardless of.. how many people you know, or what others think of you, do or don't do for you.. is a life... which without this world wouldn't be as rich. you are important. you play a role. we're here for you, and will do whatever we can.

we need you here! you play a role. don't forget that.

i used to think there was someone out there that could say something to stop me from hurting myself one day. but i realized there isnt.

not trying to be rebellious. its just theres not.

newtus

You have been here for me, now let me be here for you.
I Just spent 14 days in the phyc unit and I am doing okay....but wouldn't wish it on no one. We all know the feeling. We all have been there. I can only say that I would miss your posts alot. I know when I was feeling that way I didn't even want to burden you or anyone else, but the truth is had I, I would not have needed to go in. Maybe. It only helps if you want it to. yes I am better now, but what I did not say to them, was I will eventually do what they don't want. But that mind set is taboo. It is a problem to them, but they do not know the torment of the mind like we do.

I know that the words on this page are only words, but the person who is behind the words [M ] really cares about you. you are an important part of my life. With out your kind words when I was struggling, I may not have been able to be here today.

Don't give up. There is a real person out there who just hasn't crossed your path in life yet. He or she is out there. I truely belive that. My beloved friend. dontl oose hope.

Lil.

Remember that suicide is actually a lie your brain is telling you. I know it very well, I fought it pretty much my whole life 22 years at least. Since I was 11 years old. It's a powerful demon and it gets hold of you. It tells you you're not worth it, that you're bad, you'll never be good. It tells you it's the only way. But all of that is a lie.

The suicide demon is seductive. It comes at you relentless but it's not real. I

I know people are jerks. Just because they are jerks doesn't mean you're worthless. You're worth a lot. I for one look forward to your posts. I always read them when I see them, even when I am unable to respond for my own reasons like I get really confused sometimes, or hard to read, or just no words. But, I always know you have something worth reading, so evne when I struggle at reading and responding, I still read your posts.

I hope you can find some peace and healing! You deserve it!