Damn

If I re-make my appt with the nurse.

If I explain my reasons for not wanting meds, apart from not needing it - I'll sound like a retard though - I've seen the WTF look so many times.

This video 1:52 - 3:27



That might help - the Dr thinks it will help - doesn't realise it's the bigger problem.

It's better than hospital right.

The Samaritans are pretty cool to talk to - I can say how I feel without being judged or going to hospital, it's not really helping though.

That's cool. There should be more places like that.

((((( KUREHA )))))

I am scared for you. You sound as though there is some psychosis going on and I am worried that you will harm yourself. Please, please consider doing what the professionals say. I think you need to be in hospital so that you can get stable again.

It's really weird - because they don't give advice - none at all, you can be in the process of killing yourself and die talking to them, that's pretty cool.

No - I wouldn't hurt myself, more likely some one else - well the group, they have people planted in the hospital - so I could never go, actually bringing a knife into the hospital is so easy - they don't check - worst case scenario - I would be protected.

I think the advice they're giving you is to take the medication. That's step one. If you can work with them on step one, you can move to the next step in getting your life headed in the direction you want it to go.

No they never give advice, that's not what they are for and they don't have mental health training, just there for someone to listen.

Meds doesn't matter, it's hospital now, the Dr told my dad that cancelling wont stop me getting assessed.

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about the mental health people not giving advice. You were talking about the samaritans.

I didn't think cancelling would help at this point.

Yeah samaritans - even though it isn't really helping at all, it is nice to be able to say things I can't say to other people.

I gave a censored version to the Dr - like I think something might happen, but I can tell the samaritans what I really mean and it's all confidential.

I thought cancelling would keep me safe, but when I found out that - I thought maybe I should un cancel and explain.

I know to stay out of hospital - I have to show I can cope and they can see that I'm obviously not - I don't understand how anyone can cope with it though.

Maybe I should be honest.

Projecting more things through my eyes - I don't like that much control, they have to much.

They're projecting things through your eyes into you? Or you're projecting something outward?

Would glasses help?

Glasses will make my eyes weak.

It's going through my mind so I can see things visually, things don't appear then disappear - unless someone is sending it to you.

The Samaritans aren't really helping, it's like just talking to myself, I don't feel any less anxious, but they are more a suicide helpline.

It's nice to have someone to listen nonjudgmentally, but maybe it sounds like you also need someone to give you some guidance on what to do?

The Abilify made you feel less anxious. I think you should give the meds another try. I can't think of anything else at the moment.

Yeah it's nice - it's just not exactly helpful - I need more interaction.

There is no injectable abilify and I know they don't trust me to take it orally - I'll see if they will give me another chance.

A camera has just flew past my house - I don't know if it was real or their projections, I going to have to check with my camera with weird things.

hey kureha hope your doing ok and that dude in your photos really knows how to work a ummmm microphone!! lmao....lots of hugs sweet heart

Hi Kureha, I think you should get someone that you trust completely to talk to. A relative, friend or social worker. I think you need to start trusting your doctor. They are there to help you. I hope you are feeling better?
Please do not hurt yourself or anyone. Just talk and explain your fears to them.

Well you got to love Gerard lol

I called to un-cancel and I think I have my appointment again.
They are still projecting things to me though.

Ah it's getting close to Friday.

I read something about the injections and it freaked me and I was already freaked out about that before I saw that.
There is no way they can not know the reason I can't do it.

Rates of HIV, for example, are high among people with schizophrenia.

It is a medication that is used for some types of mental distress or disorder, where you may hear voices, have difficulty controlling your thoughts or feel very agitated. This happens most often in manic depression and schizophrenia.

NONE OF THAT IS ME
SO WHY??????

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

i just got out of hospital and they kept me on a section 3 and an injection. its not nice but bareable. hope you get everything sorted

My nurse said section 3 and injections if I refuse again.
I have no choice - but to refuse.

I know it's going to be hospital and I can't refuse them in the hospital.
I think it's 3 months - then someone has to check about it.

You will be gone for three months? Or you just have to go for three months for the injections? Or it's an injection that lasts 3 months? Sorry, I am confused.

I used to be on Depo shot birth control, which lasts 3 months. I hated to get those shots, they are so big. And they leave like a hard spot on the injection site for a few days due to it being so much medicine, you know. And it is sore for a few days after. but then it goes away and it's 3 months before another shot.

I stopped doing it because my body wasn't really happy with that much hormone. I have to be on low level hormones for birth control, which is what I'm on now. I feel a lot better. And no more shots.

I hate needles. I am afraid to get diabetes, you know, because I have panic attacks when they do finger tests on me. Like, sever. I know your reason is not my reason, but I understand being freaked out.