[a bland]

Last night my hallucinations were horrible! Me and my husband went to bed and I started crying cause I was so scared. These monsters were trying to pull me off the bed and kill me. Then they told me that if i didn't leave the room they would kill my husband so I went into the living room were preceded to torture me. They held me down and dug their claws and teeth into my back. I could feel them ripping my flesh. I cried and screamed for help but my husband never came! There was no way he didn't hear me. They tortured
me for hours. When they were done my back was completely mutilated I can see the deep cuts but this morning my husband hasn't said anything about them and I'm in a bikini. I just feel like he doesn't care. How could he abandon me like that? He use to tell me he would protect me and then when I really needed him he ignored me. I havnt slept in days because of these monsters. I feel completely alone.

abland

That sounds terrible and so scary! I think you need to talk to your husband and talk about how you need him to support you through this distressing time.

All the best,

*Willow*

[Piraeus]

Hi a bland. I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult ordeal. My ex wife did the same thing to me. She filed for divorce instead of helping me get through my issues. I suspect it is just a lack of understanding. Just hearing what is wrong with me made her scared of me.The stigma.

I have hallucinations at night. I call them shadow people. When I see them I imagine them bathed in light. Their not gonna scare me. Wow..... the cut's on your back!!!
I think that might just scare me to death. Are they still there? I mean the scars.Why
does he not believe you. There is physical evidence. I would sit down and have a serious talk with this guy. How long have you been married if you don't mind me asking. You can always come to PC for support. Are you seeing a pdoc or a therapist? You really should.Well anyways, I hope you stay safe. God bless.............

[a bland]

We've been married for 2 years and I'm scared to talk to him about it. Every time I do he shrugs it off and laughs at me and that really hurts my feelings. He's always been there for me when I'm down but not when I'm psychotic. Idk if it scares him or what his deal is. And he tries to act all tough when I ask him how he feels. And I do see a therapist twice a week. I see her again tomorrow but lately she hasn't been taking my seriously either. Its like if I'm not going to kill myself or anyone else it's not important to her. And when I talk to my pdoc all she wants to do is feed me more meds. Idk what to do. I wish the monsters would stop toying with me and just kill me already!

I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. Maybe he is at a loss as to how to react. I have also felt abandoned by my husband in similar situations where I really needed his help, but he seemed aloof or uncaring. I suspect that the truth is far from my assumptions however. I think your hubby could probably benefit from getting information on how to help you. Otherwise, silence is what is commonly given. You are not alone.

[Vossie42]

Wow, what a horrible experience! Maybe your husband doesn't know what to do when you have hallucinations. (I don't know your situation very well.) Have you told him what you need and he's simply not doing it? If so, he's heartless! I admit that I don't know anything about hallucinations or how well they respond to medication... Perhaps you do need more or different medication since the hallucinations are so strong... I'm sure that more meds is the last thing you want because of the side effects.

I know what you mean by therapists not caring much if you're not actively suicidal. I've had pdocs like that. So long as I'm not in the hospital, they've done their job and I should just shut up and go away. Grrr! I fired those doctors.

I hope things are better tonight.

[a bland]

I let my husband read what I wrote and he felt horrible. He said he didn't hear a thing. I don't know if I believe him but I want to. Last night they started licking me and if felt like acid against my skin. I just got done talkin to my T and she said the longer I don't sleep the worse they will get and I believe that but if I fall asleep then they will either kill me or turn me into one of them. I just can't let that happen so I have to fight to stay awake!

I think that was very wise and brave of you a bland. Hopefully it can effectively interest him for future situations in which his help is needed. This could make you stronger as a couple. Best of success a bland.

[faerie_moon_x]

That sounds so terrifying. I'm sorry that happened. I don't know what to say about your husband. Maybe he thought that by helping you he would make the hallucination worse. It is too terrible of a hallucination, though. You did need help righ then. I hope you feel better soon and you don't have any more like that one. It sounds horrible.

[a bland]

My husband stayed up all night to protect me so I could sleep. Idk how he knew I wouldn't sleep unless he was awake and with me. My T must have told him and that makes me mad. I mean I'm happy that he loves me that much but I don't want him to suffer because of me. I'm stronger than him and I can go a long time without eating or sleeping. Is that selfish of me? I am very greatful tho. I slept for like 2 hours last night and that much sleep can keep me going for at least a week.

[faerie_moon_x]

My husband's presance in a room helps me sleep, too. Even if he's sleeping. I don't know why. So, maybe you could set it up so you go to sleep first and then he can sleep after that. You deserve to sleep but so does he, so.... that's a compromise maybe.

It is good he loves you and wants your to feel safe. Don't be mad, even if he he had to be told that might help you. He could have been told and not cared at all, which would be terrible.