What's the matter with me?

I have posted about this topic several times. I am still lost with not really any answers. Most of the time I find myself with a blank mind and not able to do the same things I did before my psychotic episode. I have not been able create spontaneous interesting conversation out of nothing like I use to be able to. I am learning to cope better with this problem, but it's been 7 months. I should be back to normal. In the sense of confidence and self esteem. This leads me to believe that I might have social anxiety. It seems to be the closest thing I have to my situation. I've read forums about people expression the blank mind with nothing to add to the conversation and one word responses. This is incredibly frustrating.

How am I suppose to be a broadcaster when I haven't been able to talk well? How will I make networking connections, new friends, establish romantic relationships, and enjoy myself in social life like I use to do? I am lost and my only place to turn is once again to psych central. Thanks for all the support already, but I want to know what my deal is? Why don't other people have this problem after psychosis? Does it get better?

The only thing I can do is watch sports, listen to music, play video games, exercise, play basketball, and cards. That's been my life. I just turned 23 still living with parents after I moved back home from college. I feel like my life is put on pause due to lack of communication. Everyone is going on with their lives and talking and meeting new people, new experiences, and new environments. I talk better online, but I don't feel as smart as I use to be. As creative, funny, and interesting to talk to. What's my deal? Can anyone help?

OK so 7 months are you still on meds? It's taken me two years and now I'm slowly tapering off. I didn't realize how much the meds were suppressing me. I'm finding my old personality underneath. So my pdoc wanted 6 months with no voices or delusions before he would even let me try to go off but that was too soon for me, I started having mood problems when I lowered the dose. Things are much better now I'm on 5mg of abilify that's like a depression dose. Seriously for two years I kept thinking I was going to have to change jobs...but I've always loved science so why? It was the meds. Apparently there can be cognitive deficits and motivtion issurs which occur because the dopamine levels can get too low in one part of your brain while being at the correct level in another so in order to block psychosis you have to cause a dopamine deficit in other parts of your brain...so the parts that make you witty are being sucked dry. Anyway this is mostly theoretical and based on personal experience so your mileage will vary. You have to stay on the meds until its safe but try to get off as soon as possible.

Do you have involuntary movements with abilify? I find myself twitching sometimes. Part of me just wants to get off the meds and see how I function, because this is not normal. At least what was normal for most of my life, I feel slow and unable to connect to people and conversation.

I've felt this way too where I found it very hard to communicate, i've gotten better over the months. Time is really something and I believe that in the future things will get better from here.

It feels like the saying, a watched pot never boils. You're looking at yourself too closely. Can you get involved in some activity, even volunteer, like adult literacy or something, where the emphasis is off you and on someone else? But where you would still be doing some talking and listening.

I have tremors...no twitching though. So the basic rule is at least 6 months of no symptoms and then drop 2.5 mg every 6 weeks. If you feel at all unwell go back up its probably too soon. Ideally you do this with your pdoc but not all have read the latest research you might want to print it out for them if they'll read it. People actually do better at seven to twenty yers out if they get off the meds but do tend to have more relapses in the early years. Here's a link to an easy to read version.
Harrow + Wunderink + Open Dialogue = An Evidence-based Mandate for A New Standard of Care | Mad In America

I had a lot of tapping and fidgeting on abilify. I couldn't stop. I was rocking, tapping (feet and hands,) fidgeting in general. It was very, very noticable. I also was having the strange experiences where it felt like my heart was going to explode. I'd have to stretch my arms and legs out stiff and hold onto something very tight until it stopped. It was extremely scary, happened very often. It was especially scary when I was driving.

Once I stopped the abilify these things went away.

Talk to your pdoc ASAP if you're having involuntary movements as they can be come permanent.