[Atypical_Disaster]

You know what's the worst delusion I've ever had? The delusion about expecting any level of privacy. It's so unrealistic and downright strange for me to expect any privacy at all!

[newtus]

i actually have trouble using the bathroom every single time. i sit there and im like "ok. look its ok. no one is watching i promise". if i dont do that i cant use it. i check my behind my shower curtain and in my cabinets everytime before i use the bathroom.

i keep seeing people watching me. standing by my sink and in front of me and the muscles...you know...that let out stuff...the lock up. like if someone was pee shy...

i dont visually see them. its a picture in my mind and its like the people wont go. its like the picture overlays my real visual field my eyes are taking in from reality. sometimes i have to scream "go away! please" for them to leave. a lot. i think like when i pull my pants down they will rape me. all this stuff...

its 4-5 people standing there with their arms crossed. ...and they are all hospital workers.........

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[Sometimes psychotic]

My voices used to drive me nuts when I had to pee...at some point they said only the girls were watching and it would be edited out of the tape. That was lucky but then one day they said they were just kidding and the guys were there too, then they took it back but by that time I had just gotten used to the idea that people were watching me pee.

[newtus]

is what im experiencing hallucinations?

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[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

You know what's the worst delusion I've ever had? The delusion about expecting any level of privacy. It's so unrealistic and downright strange for me to expect any privacy at all!

So true...yet there is a sense that we're entitled to privacy like a right.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by newtus

is what im experiencing hallucinations?

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Probably I once had a static image of a glowing computer circuit board floating in the room on top of the normal background which was a darkened room...so you can sort of have add on images.

[faerie_moon_x]

I've started to believing they're watching me at work when I go the bathroom. Not like... go to the bathroom but go into the bathroom. I think the lady at the front desk of the management office sees when I walk by to go passed her to the bathroom, then she's alerting someone. Every time I go in there for the past week, like not even a few minutes later someone else comes in, is done before me, leaves. Not only a few moments after they leave a second person comes in. I think they are timing me.... I get sick and sometimes I'm in there a while. But, I think they theink I'm goofing off.... I know it's not my boss, she knows how sick I get but the front desk lady, I don't trust her.

I feel like my housemate's Mum watches me wherever I am in the house through hidden cameras, including going to the bathroom, which makes it hard to go to the toilet and shower etc. I don't feel that at all at home, and it's so nice to feel safe, so much so that I've put off returning to my Uni house so I can have another week of feeling safe and non-paranoid. Am dreading having to go back

*Willow*

[FireBird]

There are times where I struggle taking a shower because the shower talks to me occasionally. There is a speaker inside the shower head. It takes videos too but I have to fight it because I don't want to stink! But I do admit I don't take one everyday because of the voices and also a lack of energy. Too tired from my pills.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

You know what's the worst delusion I've ever had? The delusion about expecting any level of privacy. It's so unrealistic and downright strange for me to expect any privacy at all!

Privacy feels like an illusion.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Privacy feels like an illusion.

For all intents and purposes, it is an illusion to me.

[The_little_didgee]

My apartment doesn't even feel like a private place. I can hear everything even the neighbors talking. They know whenever I do things like shower and cook. I want to move so bad but cannot afford it. It would be nice if the walls were made out of concrete.

Last year, I filled all the cracks in the bedroom ceiling. I was certain the people upstairs were looking at me sleep and so on.

[Mountainman2013]

I take a different route each time I go to the restroom at work. I think people are counting my visits and timing me and reporting this back to one of the bosses.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I feel like my housemate's Mum watches me wherever I am in the house through hidden cameras, including going to the bathroom, which makes it hard to go to the toilet and shower etc. I don't feel that at all at home, and it's so nice to feel safe, so much so that I've put off returning to my Uni house so I can have another week of feeling safe and non-paranoid. Am dreading having to go back

*Willow*

Yes, Willow, I used to have this same problem except when I was a kid and I thought it was the other kids at school watching me through cameras when I went to the bathroom! It's horrible to be afraid like that.