And I can't wake up.

This is rant/vent
I'm really struggling with voices. I can't tell which are real and which are not. I could swear everything I am hearing is real... It used to sound like a crowded restaurant all the time where I'd be hearing bits and pieces of others' conversations, even if I was the only one in the room, and now it's starting to sound more like someone left the TV on. But I know that is illogical because we do not have TV like that... Our TVs can only play DVDs/Blu-rays, we do not have cable or regular TV at all.

Ugh. And all the things they say, I don't know who to believe. The voices have to be real if they know so much about me. I don't know, I know that we do not have regular TV, so no one could have left the TV on and the voices should not to talking to me through the TV because... hell, we don't have TV!!!

And apparently, everything that I think is a delusion. I have told my T about something that's giving me so much fear and anxiety right now and she believes it is like other thoughts I have had in the past that were not very rational, and I understand that my thoughts before were not exactly your average thoughts, yes. But they were very VERY rational! And my thoughts now are RATIONAL!! UGH. What the hell is rational? My thoughts are based on fact, hard facts that people just don't understand because they think these sort of things do not happen very often, but they do and people just turn a blind eye to it.

I just want the voices to go away, if they can. They're really beginning to upset me again and I don't know how long I can last hearing them say these things to me again and again. It's making me feel sick to my stomach almost constantly and I just want it to stop. all of it.

[Piraeus]

Hi Kori Anders.

I know what you mean about the voices. It is very difficult to deal with. My pdoc just recently lowered my dose of Invega for my schizophrenia. I have Tardive Dyskinesia too. I take meds for that but they don't work. My doc thinks the Invega is interfering with the TD meds. I have been on a lower dose of Invega now for 5 days. There is no change. I'm hearing voices more often now. I'm seeing things that just don't make any sense. The voices are louder, and more pronounced. I can actually make out what they are saying. Usually it's just bad stuff about me. Like, I am worthless, or I am lazy. I wish my doc would increase my Invega again. I hate the voices.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

It is awful that you are struggling with the voices as well.
And I hope that the TD can be helped with the right dosage.
My meds have actually been increased as of last week and I'm on two antipsychotics and I don't think either of them are working. (Probably because I am not psychotic) I can completely understand how you are feeling, though. I would not wish these voices on my worst enemy.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

My meds have actually been increased as of last week and I'm on two antipsychotics and I don't think either of them are working. (Probably because I am not psychotic)

What do you think is causing the voices if you are not psychotic?

Probably just stress.
The voices seemingly get really bad when I am stressed out. And I'm having such the hard time knowing whether or not they are real. I feel like they are, so they have to be. I don't think it's psychosis that is causing the voices, I think it's stress and possibly some other outside factors too?

[The_little_didgee]

Are you sleeping okay? Sleep deprivation can definitely make voices worse.

I think that could be another factor also.
I have been sleeping okay for a while, but recently it's been hard getting to sleep. That's mostly because of the voices and nightmares off and on. It seems like a vicious cycle. I don't get much sleep because the voices are so loud, but then the voices are so loud because I don't get much sleep.

[RunningEagleRuns]

My voices know alot about me too. Good luck, friend!

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

I don't think it's psychosis that is causing the voices, I think it's stress and possibly some other outside factors too?

Do you know what the outside factors are?

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Do you know what the outside factors are?

I'm not too sure on how to put it into words.
I don't know very much about psychosis, but what I do know is that I do not believe that is what I have. I hear voices outside my head, but that doesn't automatically equate to psychosis, right? And just because I believe something that is kind of "out there" doesn't make it a delusion, right? I know my pdoc and T do not agree, but still.

I just think that there are so many factors that go into me hearing voices. Not so much sleep, not eating much, a lot of stress because of so many things. You know?

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

I hear voices outside my head, but that doesn't automatically equate to psychosis, right?

Apparently a lot of people without mental illness hear voices.

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

And just because I believe something that is kind of "out there" doesn't make it a delusion, right? I know my pdoc and T do not agree, but still.

Believing in something that is "out there" doesn't mean one is psychotic.

Yes, I have been trying to tell my T lately that I am not experiencing delusions or anything. What I believe may sound kind of far off, but what's been happening lately is fact and not something my mind just made up. And delusions are made up, right? Delusions aren't real, but this belief is. This is fact!

Life just feels like a nightmare right now. I keep trying to talk to my T but I know she only thinks she's talking to some nutcase, but I'm being completely sincere with her and she still does not believe that what I am telling her is truth. And the voices seemingly get worse even now and then. It's all piling up and I can't take it!