My mind over there, my body here

A piece of writing about my experience with depersonalization and psychosis

So this is apparently psychosis
But it is better described as depersonalisation
Feeling like my mind is over there
But my body is here
Detached
Solid as stone
Not sure what 'being me' feels like
An object
People almost watching my every move
People almost listening into my every word
A loss of feeling
Feeling like i am someone else completely
A machine almost, well i once thought.
(my thoughts all followed a certain pattern, i didn't act outside these patterns. Pre-programmed)
Thinking about someone and existing in time confused
As though those i think about are always with me
Taking very little notice of my surroundings
I am always the center of them, i never move, rather the ground moves under my feet and i stay there

That is such a great post Gold! I loved it so much I hope you don't mind I saved it on a word doc.! Great post that is so true!!!

I'm glad you liked it Sarah. Which symptoms that i described are ones you suffer from? I would be interested to find someone like me.

I liked what you wrote.

I feel depersonalisation sometimes.

Standing just a little behind myself
Watching my body
Doing stuff
Watching my body
Type on the keyboard
Watching my body
Watching people through the screen
Just a little bit detached
Watching my body feel upset
While I feel numb
<- Watching my feelings go one way
And my thoughts another ->

(It feels a bit scary sometimes...
But I'm mostly used to it I think)