Mum thinks my paranoid thoughts are self esteem issues

Although I am very close to my mum and love her dearly, sometimes she says things that make me feel like crap.

She thinks my paranoid thoughts have got to do with low self esteem and constantly tries to suggest that I dress in more feminine clothes. She said to me that because I wear dark colours, I draw attention to myself and it causes more people to look at me and says I need to wear brighter clothes which would probably draw more attention than what I usually wear.

She thinks the way I dress or do my hair or anything draws attention and says I'll stop having these thoughts if I do so, which it doesn't. She thinks it's just social anxiety and stress and tries to belittle my thoughts and make it seem less serious and thinks that it's something I'll get over soon. She gave me a full on lecture about anxiety whilst I was sitting in a cafe where people were within earshot of hearing the conversation which made me more and more paranoid.

I just feel unaccepted because she thinks I'll be more 'presentable' if I do these things, but I don't care about that, I am comfortable with how I dress, yes I feel crap about myself sometimes but my paranoid thoughts aren't always linked to that.

I just don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to go out, I don't want to go to school and I don't want to spend time with anyone anymore.

I am sorry that you are struggling and your mother is contributing to your pain. good self esteem is linked to feeling good about yourself. so if that means feeling good about how you present yourself...however that is, in whatever colors...you are going to feel good about you. youre not going to feel good in a brightly colored shirt if you don't like bright colors. it is that simple. you need to do things that make you happy if you want to raise your self esteem. only you can discover what those things are. take care

I agree with Kaliope on this. Clothes that make you feel good are good for you. But that doesn't mean what someone else things are the clothes for you are the right clothes...

It's frustrating when people don't understand and try to "fix" things with advice that really is not helpful. I understand, it's worse when it's someone you love doing it.

Yea..
As a mom, I have screwed up a lot in this way...
All I can tell you is her intentions and advice come from the heart. She just doesnt get it.
(((hugs)))

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Your mother is not your friend. Protect yourself.

For me, paranoia doesn't have anything to do with appearance. But rather my thoughts and my mental existence.

I believe that being rightfully convinced the truth by someone can help you be reassured that what ever you're being paranoid about is either true or false and your mom didn't do that. She got it wrong and enforced her negative views on yourself, which made it worse and contributes to the paranoia even further.

I do believe that it can be a self esteem issue, but for schizophrenia and psychosis, you can believe that you are god and on top of the world but still be paranoid as hell. Obviously because you posted here, I would think you have symptoms of psychosis or social anxiety I don't really know.

I'm confused maybe she is right because my second paragraph applies to someone who has psychotic symptoms and I don't think that paranoia is an illness by itself but can be caused by depression, anxiety, cocaine, confusion, psychosis..

I mean.. If she is correct that you have self esteem issues, denying that fact would contribute to feeling bad about yourself because you wouldn't believe what she said instead of accepting it and going on the right path of helping yourself in that way. (if that is the truth).