Roll Call 19

junk: take your meds and ignore those voices!

u are lucky. i guess i was 22 when i got disability. they call it survivors benefits because i get it from my dad who died when i was 10. i wish i got more cuz its not enough but i think i have 2 job interviews lining up soon. i just have to wait fo r them to call to set up a time. one is really far wawy tho so i hope i get the grocery store job thats closer to me. i worked in 2 grocery stores before but i didnt put it on my resume cos i quit on the spot at both of them

thanks cracking. im going to. it helps when T calls me and talks to me after i take them cos they yell and scream like im killing them which i kind of am by taking the meds. its unbearable but he helps me by talking to me and dstracting me. i love my T

i dont feel well im hearing voices. but i dont think the weed helped that. why cant i get away from that stuff? kill me kill me kill me. its not addictive so why do i still have it???

i hope everyone here doesnt hate me for smoking weed. im trying to quit.

does weed make ur voices worse? i havent smoked weed in a month or so. i feel good about it.

my tax return check flew out of my car window this morning. it was insane. i couldnt find it. it sbeen really windy here. i stopped and walked up and down the road but it was gone. they are gonna mail me another one though. thank god. im so dumb for putting it in my visor

sometimes it does. sometimes it doesnt. like last time i hit it through a bong and it just made me really zonked out and this time i think it made them worse. i did it through a ecig vaporiser type device this time.

its only after i get high that i feel regretful for doing it. not before. before - i want to. after - im regretful.

im sorry to hear. were you driving or was someone else?

I don't hate you. I just don't think it's a good idea to be doing things like that when you're already unstable.

i was driving

just curious....where did u get weed from. i hope it wasnt a stranger

Punkybrewster,

I saw your comments about your daughter. Have you thought about home schooling. Are you working , is there another bread winner. It is doubtful that she will remain on clozaril for the rest of her life. Most will cycle between different meds as the med usually presents side effects whereby its then necessary to move on to another med. I think clozaril could be a good med to establish a more sensible view on the illness. I think with these meds if a person has time and the sense and the space . They will begin to see how the meds start to positively effect symptoms. But a person needs a certain amount of intellect to spot how the symptoms are improving. Im not sayn your daughter is without intellect, but she is still developing , and i think it would be lost on her. If she was in her 20's then i would say give it a try, but a person needs to get the maximum benefit of the med in the shortest time period because , from what i can see , side effects will eventually take their tole and they will move on to another med.

im a little paranoid saying who from...but a neighbor close to my age. they say they get medical grade. hell i think the weeds making me paranoid. was almost so desperate once i almost got it from a stranger. but i know these people well. the people in their 60s dont know their grandson does weed .

and your right. i feel regretful and i just bought more. but i feel like i had to come clean to you guys especially when im hearing voices and it may be from weed. i cant do you guys like that. i cant lie. i dont want to. all you guys are my best friends and i dont want anyone to think less of me on this forum. especially when im possibly worsening my schiz because of my own doing.

i think it may be from the anxiety of smoking it more than smoking it. idk.

Lol....Newtus, you drive me nuts sometimes!!!!
Im kidding
Were not mad at you. But you know what happens every time! Just be safe my friend.

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OMGosh.
I do this type of stuff all the time..
I feel for you.

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well at least no ones mad you know. prior to this time i hadnt smoked weed in 2 years and what made me start again was being alone home and bored. my dads gone for 9 hours of the day. i get lonely and wanna have fun.

toby

Well, Bean is in hospital.
All the staff said hello and welcome back. Once there she felt relief. Its really the only place she can be herself around kids like herself and get a break.
I asked if there was anything we could try instead of clozaril and they said maybe haldol or something else..i dont remember the name but it didnt sound familiar.

But they didnt sound too optimistic. Since thorazine worked so well for a bit, they think maybe something stronger in the same family.
But if it does not work then its cozaril.

I was assured it is safe when done in a hospital setting and they do it all the time there...they have a lot of experience with it.

Anyhooo....she is happy to be there. Relieved actually. The doc wants to make sure whatever they do, not to alter her personality since she has a beautiful soul...their words, not mine.

I just hope it doesnt take too long.

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I hope ur headache goes away soon.

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do you call her bean or is it just a named you made for her on this forum?

Nah.. Everyone calls her bean. Her whole family, teachers, everyone. Her real name is Audrey. Its just habit. No one hardly ever calls her by her right name.lol.
All my kids have nicknames they go by. Cousind and nieces and nepherws too. Really,really weird nicknames too!

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so interesting!!! forreal. i wish i had a nickname. well punky in honour of your daughter - im gonna name my new hamster bean.

You do!
Its Newtus!
Just let people know thats your nickname. I think I saw that show once. The one you got ur name from.

And wr need to ser a pic of your new baby Bean too.
An official introduction.

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