[dillpickle1983]

OMG I slept 17 hours, my head is so noisy today. It's all white noise. No voices or anything. Like a tv with all static, or a non existent radio station. Just went totally against my Pdoc's wishes and pounded a Monster Energy drink because I am so tired. I just want to sleep. Seroquel usually keeps everything in check, but the last 2 days it hasn't done a darn thing. Ever have one of those days where you just want to be completely left alone? I really don't want to be in the company of anyone. I hate feeling this way, and usually this leads into something more severe. I posted in this forum because the SZA forum doesn't have much traffic and I am sure a lot of you can relate to what is going on. Why am I this way? As a child and teen and even in my early to mid twenties I never had these issues. I was diagnosed when I was 29. I know it is not common to be diagnosed that late in life. Why am I experiencing this now?

I am so not used to it yet, and the meds for the most part work but the last few days there effective treatment has waned. I sit here on my computer knowing that I can find comfort posting on here and won't be judged. I posted on Facebook that my head was noisy today, and I don't get negative responses but then again I don't know why I post on there. It's been a good 5 months since my last episode and I've been feeling great for the most part, but since Thursday things have started to snowball. I had 4 fillings in my teeth and 1 extraction last week and was in a decent mood even after that.

I sit here staring at my computer listening to music hoping that it will kill the noise in my head. I also have my police scanner on listening to what is going on trying to keep my mind off what is going on. I'm not sure what kind of music I really want to listen too, but Alanis Morissette on the player now. I'm just struggling here. I have a med check with my PDoc on March 19th @845am.

Thank you for reading my rant, sorry it's kind of long.

-Mr. Pickle

[Erti]

Some develop SZA early or later in life. Late onset is considered to develop 40 years or older so you're not all that late in the game.

Listening to music is a great coping mechanism for hearing voices/noises. I find it to be quite helpful whenever I'm having trouble with voices. I tend to go with loud music weather it's rap or heavy rock music.

Sorry DillPickle (which by the way is my FAVORITE food ) I do not have much advice to give. You said you see your Pdoc in 4 more days. I would consider bringing it the static noises since it seems to be bothering you. They may adjust your pills to help with it.

[ickydog2006]

On days when I have that constant noise and my meds arn't really helping my doc has me take a xanax. I'm not necessarily advising it though. Sometimes the stress of the noise just spirals things down and gets me really worked up, and a xanax helps me not care abouit the noise. I also watch a lot of tv and listen to music or play computer games at the same time as a distraction. I've also found that I have more noisy days when I'm sleep deprived so it is really important for me to track my sleep schedule and make sure I'm getting enough, even if that means using sleeping meds like Ambien, which I feel also contribute to my tiredness during the day. I'm sorry you are having to experience this. Some days I get really wrapped up in the 'why me' stuff, and my therapist told me it's okay to have those days. Give yourself 24 hours, and permission to sit in that pitty pot and know that it's okay to feel that way. Then force yourself back to work. As a Christian I sometimes feel guilty for being mad at God for this when he has blessed me in so many other ways, and I don't know why He's allowed me to go through this stuff. I try to be positive and use it to help other's and tell myself that I wouldn't be able to talk to or relate to certain people without having experienced this yuck, but that doesn't make the yuck any less yucky, it does help a little with my feelings towards the situation some days though. I hope you find some peace and acceptance of the fact that you may never know why, all you can do is try to make the best of the hand you're dealt.