[Yismymindblank12]

Now I'm just shaking and twitching alot hearing voices alot and shaking to their rhythms doing as they say, wanting to vomit and purge my beliefs I'm safe I'll be sane one day and not eat myself till I stare. Just lose my head completely have no where to run. I lost it no help I got no help no doctors want to see me parents don't care, on the brink of suicide when I can find my common sense how to do it. I don't think I know who I am, I'm just might be already dead, I don't know I'm twitching so much twitching my anxiety isn't here. I can't sleep I just want to be safe and loved, but no no love here or anywhere I gotta look on my screen to find it. Keep hitting myself such a failure must hit myself to say I love you I need to be beaten to be shown no mercy because I deserved none and hurting myself is the best thing to tell me I'm ok I'll be alright. I'm going to die young and in pain, because no one has loved me. I'll be fine I'll be alright just losing my head is the best thing that's happened let the abuse take control of me let the hallucinations and delusions break me so badly because I'm loved and should die a painful death positively because I have no where else to go. I don't belong enjoying life I have to regret it, because I enjoy it too the fullest saying I can do it, I can do it with a smile just die with a smile, just let everyone beat me senseless so I can smile. That's what everyone wants me to be smiling. Madness is so much fun

[faerie_moon_x]

Hi. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I have SI hitting issues also. Mine are explosive, meaning I have them during mixed episodes usually, with my bipolar. I don't know anything about being catatonic, but I really hope you can find something to help you.

You don't deserve to be beaten and you do deserve mercy. You don't deserve to be abused. I'm sorry someone is abusing you. They are the ones who are wrong, not you.