[Pughead]

Hey all,

I'm struggling right now with getting the correct DX.

My family's history is unclear. You see, my mom won't ever admit to ANY imperfections. My sister believes she is paranoid, narcissistic, and probably has problems with depression. She also said that our grandmother (my mom's side) was the same way. I don't remember as much about my grandmother because I was much younger when she died.

What I do remember is her telling me stories and at the end of it saying stuff like "I saw an angel". Or, "I see angels around you."

Apparently she had a "nervous breakdown" where she was hospitalized for 3 weeks. But I don't have any more details on that. My mom said she was too young to remember what happened. Which I question, was she too young or just doesn't "want" to remember.

I was DX'd with major depression a couple years ago following a pretty traumatic event in my life. However, I always thought I was messed up before that. Now, I'm back in therapy again for what my primary care doc thought was BP, but my pdoc is suggesting is comorbid personality disorders.

I have not had auditory or visual hallucinations, at least, not that I can remember. I did have several experiences where I would hallucinate when taking marijuana. That was more than 10 years ago though.

Recently, my mind seems to be degenerating. I know I have thought disorder. I can't speak for crap, especially in the work place. If someone even asks me a simple question, it takes me forever to answer. There will be periods were I just blank for 5 seconds or more, and there are just times when I stumbled and simply cannot graspy one of the gazillion thoughts racing in my head. I also mix up words and syllables a lot.

I get paranoid a lot. Lately I've been getting paranoid that people are following me home at night. There IS an actual car behind me, but for some reason I believe they are a threat and are following me. I drive faster and take evasive action...alternate routes, etc.

I also feel like people might be conspiring against me, or collecting information, monitoring me. Sometimes I believe even those closest to me are plotting to get me.

I dunno, I'm just rambling now...just throwing it out there.

[January]

Hi Pug,

I hope you have told your pdoc everything you have shared here. She/he needs all this information to make the proper diagnosis.

I wish you the very best,

January

[Pughead]

Yeah, I would share that info...if she let me talk.

[January]

Print out what you told us and hand it to her/him. Ask that he/she read it.

Jan

[wally]

Hey pug, good articulation there. I kinda suspect that a little about myself but I am too scared to admit it to my psychiarist or anyone else in regular society. I too have never had any hallucinations but sometimes i look in the mirror and try to see my soul in my eye"srreflection. I sometimes think that the creator has a huge purpose for me but that sounds a little off center.( I am considered very diffferent by most main stream society and it sucks) @#$%$# I cannot sleep at all right now and I believe that my neighbors (apartment dwelling) might think that I am very strange. I dont want to scare anyone as I would not hurt even a moth flying in my room.

[biplol]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{pug}}}}}}}}}}}}} I hope you can find out what is you dx, so you can start the best process to feel complete, whatever that is.
Hang in there and PM me anytime you need a ear~

{{{{{{{{{Wally}}}}}}}} Now I understand more your PM, we really have a lot in common.
Hugs my friend~