Roll Call 27

Depression sucks....I HATE her!

Ya that's why I delete my account every now and then. I used to be Alonewithmycat.

I wondered what happened to you! Nice to see you

Well I got groceries. My son is a brat. He spilled a open box of baking soda all over the fridge, and expects me to clean it. Nope I'm making him. Sometimes I don't know about him...I'm totally broke now. Completely, then I forgot to get him goldfish and he's like I'm taking ur card to go get some. Let him try it, I'll call the police on him, I'm serious. He's such a brat!

How are u Erti?

Anybody up?

I'm up

I'm up. Trying to distract myself at the moment otherwise I'll be a hot mess.

How are u feeling?

Crappy....sliding down the rabbit hole....
How about you?

Wanna talk about it??

I feel bad for saying that about my son. He cleaned it up. We're getting along now. He actually thanked me. It's a pain to get groceries, hurts my back...

I'm feeling a little more motivated. Worried about money though.

I understand the worry over money. This is the first summer ever that I did not work. I just hope I can make it through.

Erti just know if you ever wanna talk I'm here.

It's weird... one day I'm so depressed I think of suicide as a viable option to make the depression to go away. Well everything to go away... then I'm ok and then voices kick back in telling me I'm going to die soon and it scares the **** out of me. All I can think about it my mom and not wanting to leave her and I don't feel good I just want her to comfort me. For some odd reason all I want is my mom. Mom works 3rd shift so she's gone. I don't know how my mom will react to this. She's not a very comforting person to talk to. She's distant and stuff. I guess it's the kid in me wanting her mommy when she's feeling sick.

Yeah, sorry I was watering my flowers. Their almost dead, I've been neglecting them. I hope they recover.

Yeah money problems suck!

I'm kind of the same way and I'm very clingy to my boyfriend. I think of offing myself a lot and my therapist told me that means I have poor coping skills so she suggested neurofeedback therapy.

I miss my mom too. She passed away. I wish I would have had her when I had back surgery and went through the psychosis. There's nothing like a mother's love. I understand.

I'm sorry Erti It does sound like the little girl inside of you is longing for your mother's love and comfort.
I can totally relate to the depression. I'm slipping down the rabbit hole as we speak. I too have the thoughts of suicide when I get deeply depressed. But I just keep reminding myself that I can't give up....I know that once I reach the bottom of the rabbit hole the only way out is to start climbing.

I used to feel suicidal a lot. I've attempted 3 times. I've learned though that those feelings pass and I wait it out. Do u have a therapist Erti?

I would never act on my suicidal thoughts. I could never do that to my kids.

Well lots of bps go out that way...

It's a very dark place to be in.

I've gotta clean. Hopefully I will get it started tomorrow. I've lost 5lbs! Lowering that med helped get my appetite a little more back to normal.