Roll Call.....#30

You'll make it. You've survived worse. That's what I tell myself in those predicaments.

thanks sunshine

You are welcome.

Just checking in to say I'm bored out of my mind.

I'm tired of all my regular websites.

The puppy has chewed the tv antenna cable, and I can't seem to find the new one I bought. I don't want to watch tv anyway.

The mystery I'm reading is dull.

I don't feel like cleaning the house, although it desperately needs it.

The library is closed.

I hate admitting to boredom. Shouldn't I be able to find some way to entertain myself?

I'm thinking about going to the dog park. There's a spot at the park where a little creek goes over some rocks into a pool. The dogs play there, and some people wade in. I always want to wade in too, but:

1. I'm afraid I'll slip on the moss and fall;
2. I'm always wearing jeans, and I don't want to roll them up or get them wet; and,
3. I don't want to leave my shoes and socks on the side of the creek which is really muddy.

I'm so jealous of the people wading in the water. And I saw some women the other day who were walking all over the park barefoot - which also made me jealous because when I was a kid I'd be barefoot all summer. The bottoms of my feet would get so tough and thick I could easily walk over gravel. One time I was running and stepped on a branch which had fallen from a tree covered with thorns, and the thorn barely went into the skin at all.

So.... I'm wearing nylon shorts now and thinking about making the trek to the dog park. I can take a backpack to carry my shoes. Or I can wear flip flops, although they aren't sturdy enough to make the whole trip.

I'm thinking about buying some of these:



I don't know how good they would be to walk in, though. It's some distance to the creek. A mile maybe? And then another mile back. And I usually walk through the woods.

I'd love replace my Tevas, but I don't want to wear Tevas into the water, and I'm afraid they'll be stolen if I leave them on the bank.

What to do.... What to do....

Good mornin'!

They would probably keep records like that somewhere more secure..

The standard teva sandal is made for water...that was the recommendation from the guide when I was learning canoeing....you pretty much step in water and sink Into mud etc...it just rinses off. The crocs I think would pull off your foot if you hit mud...which you will..where the tevas have straps if you have the basic kind..

ive been busy and sick. i have a major cold. i feel pretty bad.

i went to my therapist yesterday and she said shes not really going to do much therapy right now but more case management. and she had this paper of a list of things she was reading off like "hallucinations?" "delusions?" stuff like that. she set me up with one of the psychiatrists there so i guess im back to the local clinic. i dont feel any thing good coming from this. right now for the past 3 months ive been focusing on my weight and i dont want all my success to go down the drain. (especially when in the past i was told i am at risk for diabetes if i gain a certain amount). but even when i dont lose weight im still at least maintaining it and not gaining it. im just wanting my old self back and dont want another diabetes scare. i dont want to go down that overweight/obese road i went down back in 2010 or so.

People Prefer Electric Shocks to Being Alone With Their Thoughts - Matthew Hutson - The Atlantic

You are not alone....

I went to get proof today, so I was just waiting for them to turn up and they did, so I went to talk to them, my stupid camera didn't record, not that it really mattered because I didn't get a long conversation.

I think I really freaked 1 of them out, she was dragged her friend or whoever she was with away.

Anyway they denied the gang stalking and then I turn around and they are talking to a woman dressed all in RED !!!
I didn't have any weapon with me so I panicked and went, they were all staring at me, she was obviously there for protection, I don't even know where she came from, there was no one there.

When was this?! Where?!

Just earlier today - I was in the cemetery because it's close to where I live, I think the woman in red was hiding because she couldn't have just appeared from nowhere.

Wow. What were the other women dressed like? Just casual? Did the person dressed in red say anything?

I went for a walk today and the crows were screaming at me but then the wind rose up to drown the noise. The beings control the weather so now I'm confused why would they do something nice for me. They are controlling this situation by manipulating people I hope they are going to be fair.

Ooh I actually like it when the crows are flocking and it's windy although that's usually in the fall around here. Did you ever get your meds sorted?

I hate it the noise pierces through me. I didn't contact my cpn because the feeling left the next day. I don't like bothering people. I think I'm teetering on the edge of being 'okay' a bit

i got cigarettes and one of the guys muttered under his breathe "see you next week". ugh. im always buying cigs there OK. jeez wtf. ok whatever. and then when it looked like they didnt have my kind i said "oh you dont have itt" and the guy says "dont get jumpy" wtf? hate people.

Who are the beings?

It's what I call the forces that control everything. People aren't supposed to know about them so they punish me for knowing. They are celestial beings.

That's crappy of him you can't sell something and then judge people for buying it that's ridiculous

Ok thanks!

Agreed. That is just...... Dumb

I know how you feel. I absolutely hate that they have their opinions of me and my progress all written down and I don't have access to it. Hate hate hate it. But I don't think it would be wise to break in, you would almost definitely get arrested or put into hospital. I have thought about doing the it too though, you're not alone.

Good afternoon!

Thanks. Since I wanted to get Tevas anyway, I think I'll skip the crocs. Today I just took an extra pair of flip flops and a pair of canvas shoes in case the first pair broke. Then I went most of the way barefoot. And I did wade in the water for a bit.