Roll Call.....#30

I'm not sure what the class is but would an audio book be better?

Well hello sp!

The class is a university Anthropology class - Religion, Magic and Witchcraft.

I'm not sure an audiobook would help. I've never tried a textbook as an audiobook, I don't know if I'd retain it better. I feel like I'd need to keep rewinding it to take proper notes. I have the same problem with lectures in class, I miss a lot. I already have the print textbook, I'm not sure if it's available as an audiobook.

The extra book I need to read I managed to find as an ebook. I'm better at reading on a kindle, for some reason I can focus on it better.

A little but I still feel slightly restless.I didnt really do much for Canada day I had food with family and watched some fireworks shot off from near by.I feel really weird right now I cant explain the mood I am in.I am feeling like my physical body is somewhere else and I am in this weird state of mind feeling like I am just going completely lose touch with reality or something.about to take my second daily dose of haldol hoping it makes the feeling stop.

Today's my grandad's birthday. So I decided to leave the safety of the flat to celebrate with him. While waiting at the crossing a woman stood right behind me invading my personal space. She was in easy reach of my neck. I have never been so scared in all of my life. As soon as the walk signal appeared I bolted across the road as fast as I could. It's obvious that the woman was a spy on a mission to kill me. No way in hell am I going to be choked to death by a spy. I've already been strangled once in my life time. I refuse to let history repeat itself. Because this time I might not get so lucky.

After that scare, I cautiously walked about in public. Thank goodness the unpleasant frightening ordeal is over with. Now I'll just continue to look forward to tomorrow. I can't wait to see my friend again. We're having a comedy movie night to celebrate me getting accepted into a college.

That sounds like dissociation......

Hi....sorry didn't see this until now ....

It probably was.I am feeling better today actually I am not sure why I was feeling so weird yesterday.

how are you feeling?you mentioned you were sick a while back.

Something is still wrong---I'm getting intermittent headaches and my arm was really sore enough to wake me up last night but I wasn't sleeping on it or anything. Food is still pretty unappealing. It's super weird.

ok well. things have been bad. overall feeling of everything is fu_ked up. just keep thinking that over and over. being spied on. bad things. harm is coming my way. i met with pdoc. T was on speaker phone. cuz he is home sick. it was hard to communicate and say whats going on. but T knew. cuz i text him and tell him. he knew exactly what i meant when i said theres a lot of bad things going on. pdoc tried to give suggestions. he didnt believe me. what i said about my neighbor. i cried. then it was over. T text me afterwards. "how are you". said i was feeling really bad. said i dont know how to make the obsessive thoughts stop. stop obsessing and repeating . i went to community house and talked to recovery coach. told her that everything is fu_ked up. and worried about not getting enough sleep tonight. she said she can call my manager. she said my manager knows that sometimes i will need support and to take off from work. she called him. he said not a problem i can take tonight off. she said he understood. so i dont have to work tonight. but still have to be there at 7am tomm. T text and said he is sorry im struggling and to hang in there. i said im trying my best and thanks for all u do. he said i know ur trying. pdoc said to take invega pills. so im doing that. things are f_ked up. but i just have to keep living. suicide is not an option. even tho i think about it. not an option. it wont be this bad forever. right?

I'm sorry things are going poorly right now and no it won't be this bad forever you have already been much better than this before. Do you think any of this is switching over to the invega? If you were more stable on the other it might be worth going back? Give moosolini a hug and do something nice for yourself Did you make a box of care items like some of use were doing---this would be the perfect time for that---if not then why not make one?

http://forums.psychcentral.com/schiz...forum-%3B.html

Ya it's ok

I Feel bad for people on the coast of north and South Carolina. They are dealing with a hurricane for 4th of July.

No, it won't be this bad forever.

I have been more or less living on ice cream the last 2 weeks---today I tried something called a magnum bar----it is a lot like a dove bar but it's got two layers of chocolate shell and a layer of molten caramel in between---if anyone needs to cheer up I highly recommend it

I have never been though a hurricane---part of me would like to experience it as long as I wouldn't get hurt or anything---just for the experience. Luckily that part of my brain is not in charge....

I've been through a few hurricanes and tropical storms. I thought it was fun, hahaha.

Yeah I always see the weather channel guys standing by the ocean and I kind of want to be there---but you know just teleport away if it actually gets dangerous...

Hello roll call, I think I've only posted on here once...

Having a weird sort of day today. I had a take out and tasted something weird in it in it, so thought it was poison but I seem to be alright so not too worried about that anymore. There were loads of people around today and I felt as if one of them was going to kill me, it was horrible. I much prefer being on my own or just with immediate family and my T, who I know care about me and won't try to kill me.

thanks. i have moosolini with me. he reminds me that T cares. not sure about invega not working. it worked good the past 2 months. just under a lot of stress it seems. and kind of all started with my neighbor. he is new here. the first time i saw him outside he didnt say anything to me and just stared. i got a creepy feeling. i get bad feelings about him. i think he is a bad man. i think he put cameras in my apartment when i was at work. i think he records me and is going to murder me one night. i told pdoc this but pdoc said maybe he is just reserved and quiet type. pdoc doesnt get it.

i dont have a self care box. maybe i will make one. i did something bad and bought a soda. i havent drank soda in a month. i am trying to stop drinking it. i felt like i wanted it though. cuz i feel so bad. that maybe it will help me feel better. but i feel guilty. at least dont have to work tonight. im glad T understands. im glad T was on the phone in dr office. he understands me more. im glad T is in my life

I always feel like someone in a crowd is gonna kill me. Always.

Me too. I can't stand it, I once started crying in the middle of a crowd.