Problem interacting with people on a regular basis

Can someone tell me if they can relate to this. Whenever I interact with someone for the first time we begin to develop an interaction style based on both our personalities and stuff. Like if I was in one frame of mind for that particular interaction then the next time I see that person they'll expect to continue where we left off but the problem is I've already adjusted my mindset 40 or 50 times by then and I'm in a completely different place mentally so our interaction is weird and doesn't make any sense.

that is really interesting. I can see how that must make interacting with others difficult for you.

I find that I have to be that person (the persona people like) all the time when I'm socialising or nobody wants anything to do with me. On one hand, I don't want to recommend pretending because it's inauthentic and exhausting, but it's the only way I maintain relationships, superficial though they are as I'm not being authentic.

All the best

*Willow*

Yeah, that's probably the issue. Maybe I'm not being authentic. I always try to offer whatever I think people want instead of what I actually am. It was never this difficult or bizarre though before I started experiencing serious mental health issues and it actually worked pretty well.

Yeah me too. I never even realised I was doing it until a few years ago because it was so natural, and then when things went downhill it became more mentally & physically costly to me to keep up the facade, and I resent the fact that I have to keep it up because no one wants anything to do with me when I'm authentic. Other people seem 'allowed' to be authentic though, so maybe you could try experimenting with authenticity? Maybe the issue you are having is a lack of consistency because people think you are completely different each time they meet you, idk? Anyway I relate to this topic a lot, and I hope you can find some way through it

*Willow*

I have trouble interacting with people too. People who lead the interaction make it so much easier for me. Their guidance helps keep the discussion interesting and going. If they don't do this I'm quiet unless I'm interested in the topic. I don't do well in spontaneous conversation or small talk.

When I was a teenager I used to fake my way through social interactions. It made me feel horrible so I just avoided talking to people unless I needed to. I longed to be myself but nobody seemed to like and respond to me. Now that I'm in my 30s I no longer do this. Being me has made it socializing a lot easier. Self-acceptance has helped too. I'll never ever be charismatic and likeable so I don't even bother trying anymore.

I'm only comfortable around the people I know and then still not always. Sometimes I feel like I'm from a different planet (not literally but not knowing/wanting to interact or think like they do),

I watched The Imitation Game this week in the cinema about Alan Turing (great film!) and there's a bit where he's a kid and his friend is telling him about coded messages and he asked how it was different from verbal communication because people say things that aren't what they really mean all the time, and I really related to that. I feel like I lost the key that told me what people really mean (which I always understood intuitively before), so now I'm often confused by what people say and get into trouble for 'taking things too literally' and getting cross with people for not saying what they actually mean.

I'm not sure what the point of my post is except maybe to empathise that communication is really difficult sometimes

*Willow*