roll call 43

np we care

Today I've had a rubbish day. It was my first day back at college and that meant one thing. I had to leave the house. I kept hearing footsteps coming from behind me. I knew I was being followed. But I can't skip college. So I'm forcing myself to go every day despite how scary it is leaving my home.

The filling was kind of painful and expensive, apparently my mum forget to give them our dental insurance so I had to use the health card I have to pay for it. I have another filling this week, but I might not get it because it cost quite a lot.

I know how you feel Newtus.

watching news

Red for winter over.

I took my antidepressant in the morning this time. I always tend to get very depressed at after 5pm, which is when i usually take my meds. So I'm thinking if I take it in the morning, my down time will be the mornings just before I take my pill. Also, it might ease my insomnia. The trazodone sleep aid that my PDoc prescribed me didn't do anything.

Depression is a major comorbidity with schizophrenia. Do any of you guys and gals suffer from it too? What do you take? How do you cope? I really wrestle with this...

Thank you atypical. Yeah mixed episodes are horrible. I usually get delusional, have crying spells and extreme paranoia in them. I guess in the new dsm they are now called depression with mixed features if the depression dominant. Or mania with depression features if the mania is dominant. No longer called mixed episodes...

I was right at the beginning. But I'm stopping my AD. I only slept 5 hours and it wasn't deep sleep. And I took a lot more trazadone but I still kept waking up.

Thank you again. I really appreciate the support.

Well I don't have sz but bp. I suffer from depression pretty much every fall and winter. I usually just have to wait to cycle out of it. Nothing has ever taken me completely out of it.

But what you could try is a different AD, increase in your AD and getting light everyday. Wish I had more answers....

You're on an extremely low dose of lexapro. I would get that increased...

My PDoc first put me on 10mg of Lexapro but I couldn't feel any emotion whatsoever. It was horrible! I was numb inside. So I brought it down to 5mg and the price I pay is nightly depression. I tried Prozac first. That med made me feel even more like a zombie. I wish they made a pill that instead of numbing you makes you feel good.

Also it takes awhile for the trazadone to work for insomnia. It has to build up in your system. At least that has been my experience.

I'm struggling with depression this year, worse than last year for sure. I'm not taking the ad I have because it made me feel nervous and out of control last time I tried to. Don't know what to do.

Well maybe you could try zyprexa for your ap. It helps with depression as well as psychosis.

I personally won't take it though bc of the weight gain. But maybe it won't be as bad for you.

When I was in a really scary mania I was put on geodon 120mgs. It didn't help me at all with the paranoia and delusions I was having. Maybe that could be something to consider, that the ap isn't working like it should...

Weight gain is not an option. :O) I tried that with Risperdol. That was a sad state of affairs. What was really annoying is how everybody commented on how fat I got all of a sudden. My boss and coworkers were non-stop. So far the antidepressant in the morning has worked. I don't feel any depression tonight. So I'm curious how tomorrow morning will be. I usually have bad anxiety mornings because Wellbutrin did a number on me.

trazodone worked immediately for me. well after 30 min of taking it you know.

I do. My straterra is suppose to help and I can't take ADs since they'll make me manic. I exercise, eat well, and hang with friends to reduce my depression.

My Ideas, delusions and persecutions
Stretched and stressed Mind in confusion
Fighting fear for cause and effect
Remembers all nightmares as I slept
Rational autonomy truly trumped
Mind as a battlefield that has defunct
Once filled with beauty and duty
Sweetness and light, point and purpose
Now filled with the storm and stress
Still, I know that I am blessed
Friends and family forgive and forfend

i think im getting sick

I'm very freaked out by being in a body. It just creeps me out so badly.

I hope ur not.

I just watched Almost Famous. I love that movie!

I cleaned the house a little bit, I figure if I clean a little bit each day I can maintain a clean house without much of a problem. One of my goals for this break is to have a completely clean house before I go back to uni.

Found a weird video yesterday - don't know if it was real, but it was meant to be an MK Ultra video

I barely slept. I don't know why I'm so wired.

i have been having sleep issues too lately, i cant get to sleep when i go to bed and have to keep getting up until i feel like i can sleep, i go to the bathroom several times in the night too. i am soo sad right now and i think it is because of my sleep pattern right now. i feel guilty if i go back to bed early in the morning or mid afternoon because im not geting anything accomplished. help??